Hee-haw's blog

Wedding of Vyner and Ruby

2011-11-04T00:48:00.000-07:00

2011-09-09T02:11:00.001-07:00

Oh ya, i still have a blog!

2010-11-15T06:41:00.000-08:00

Ok ppl, *kneeling down* I admit i totally forget about having a blog here! HAHA! so long time never update! But that's really thanks to my previous laptop. Since the laptop broke down, I have to share computer with my sis. but of cuz i couldn't do blogging there cuz mostly i m complaining about her! HAHA! And the biggest secret is here. So i couldn't update that time, and after i got my new laptop, i seldom have time to blog cuz obviously my PREVIOUS boss was exploiting me. And till now, when i finally able to retrieve everyone's blog address, then only i realise how long i didn't update! =.=

Ok, so, I guess most of you know what i was doing so far, cuz you know my blog only patheticly around 5 ppl reading it and these 5 ppl, we often update each other la! HAHA!

Oh well, yeah, after i quit from my previous company, it's been almost three months resting at home. I enjoy the slow path lifestyle in my hometown kluang, I love to have a car to go wherever i want, I enjoy cleaning my house and stay in it, I love the relaxing lifestyle here. That's y i seldom be back to singapore, cuz I m thinking since i m going back for work for sure, so what for stay there for long, it's also very troublesome to my aunt. So i m back till now. Guess I have to search for job next month. So many ppl asking, i m getting more and more stress up now. But good news my body is slowly recovering now. Even gong gong told me not to be rush to find a work, better have a healthy body then only can work for long. HAHA! I din know i was THAT serious! HAHA!

Although i like my lifestyle here, but of cuz i feel sad staying at home too. As you guys know, long time problem, family problem. The longer i stay at home, i m getting so stress up at home too. I dunno when my father is going to scold my mum, i dunno what my mum done might provoke that old man. I have so many things to worry and that's why i keep my house clean all the time as i dun wan that my father use any of that as an excuse to scold my mum. although long time ago i have already gave up on my family, but still, whenever see my mum, serving dinner for my dad, i feel even more sad for my mum. That's also one of the reason why i need to stay here for so long. I hope i can use all my free time now to accompany my mum, relieve her from the housechores, make her happy all the time, and to block as many bullets' as possible from my dad. It's really depressing, but i couldn't talk about it to my brother and sister. This is the problem that we wished to keep it deep in our heart, buried it, best if no one would ever want to dig it up and discuss. I am really envy how close my fren's family bonding, but i know i can do nothing about it. The only thing i can do is just protecting my mum, I m just hoping she can live everyday happily. As for my dad, still i will do my part as a daughter, but he already lost my faith on him long time ago. I m not going to hurt myself more to know more about him and that irritating mistress. Want to have a new family outside, go ahead, just stop stabing on our heart.

Three months staying at home, there's happy memories as well as sad memories. But i guess sad memories just overpower the happy one. Recently my beloved nanny - aunty mama, passed away. When i was young, my parents were busy for work so normally i spent my daytime there. Compared to my brother and sister, i spent the lesser time there, i have no other play mates there, but still the time I spent there with her was the happiest memories in my life. She was so kind-hearted, patient and gentle nanny. She had never scold me before for doing anything wrong, everytime, she would be very patient with me, slowly explaining why i was wrong with me. I still remember whenever i was sick, i would recover fast when i stay there. I guess i really like to be with her. Fortunately, before she passed away, before my brother went oversea, we went to visit her, twice. Her daughter said she was really happy that before she passed away, she still able to meet all the little kids she took care before. I can do nothing for her, the only thing we can do was sending her off till the very last moment. Tears were filling on my eyes when I saw her lying on the coffin. Before that I told myself i couldn't cry, cuz i want her to go without worries. But still, we failed to do that, we cried by the side of her coffin. although physically she has gone, but still, she will live in my heart forever. I m gonna let my children know there's such a beautiful nanny tat took care of me. I will always remember her.

My love~ :)

2010-02-06T08:44:00.000-08:00

OMG! Really this man can't kill me enough is it?!! I dunno whether I will die this coming april or not! He is going to wear all these super nice clothes while filming the drama. I guess I will really STICK on my screen and flood my room with my saliva~ HAHAHA!! Chang min ar~~ Enough la!! Dun be so handsome ok?! :)

Today is really a good day~ I din go back to the rubbish home, so i stayed in the rubbish room for this weekend. And this morning, I decided to do a spring clean for my room! Wasei! Really man! If i have a choice, i will definitely stay alone! I really hate living with my sister! SHE IS SUPER ULTRA DIRTY OMG! Really so angry while cleaning the room! The only thing she did was only cleaning the fan (Which i dunno how to open the thing!) Other than that, sorry man, i think i NEVER see her cleaning this room and i really feel very furious to see the room condition. Even in my rubbish house! Gosh! That should be even worse. I really dun feel like going back to look at it! My sis and my mum's room really horrible. My mum of cuz will keep the house but you see the way she do it, you might faint on the spot. as for my sister, I NEVER SEE HER CLEANING THE HOUSE, if you dun ask her to do. I mean she NEVER VOLUNTEER TO HELP CLEANING THE ROOM. All she do is sitting in front of the com or TV like a princess. WTH said I'm the princess in the house? Bloody hell! I m maid ok!!

Okok, too ji1 dong4 i know. HAHAH!! Today is a great day, cuz after i did a spring clean to my room, wasei! I NEVER SEE MY ROOM SO CLEAN BEFORE!! FEEL SUPER ULTRA HAPPY LA!! HAHAHAHHA! Then dewy came to my house~ And we went to swim~ :) I dunno is it the water problem or exercise makes ppl happy, we just feel super happy after swimming. HAHA!! And after i came back, i still feel very happy cuz my room is sooooo clean~~ :)))))

I really wonder how my house gonna look like when I'm back. But who cares, that's just a place for me to sleep. There's no one in the house would ever care about me. So sorry, i forgot i m just a maid. So let the princess go back often, i will be staying in my comfort zone forever~ Really feels very fan everytime i step into the house. SIGH! But now i learn to care lesser, since nobody cares about ur feeling, wat for I take it so serious! YES! so, i will tell my self, just be a good maid will do. My parents already have a GREAT DAUGHTER and SON, so plus me as the maid, perfect, and plus my father's mistress, fuiyoo, what a HAPPY FAMILY! HAHAHAHA!!

*yawn* Time to sleep. Dun think to much, keep remind urself, 活在当下, enjoy urself, dun regret after that, and really care lesser, you will be much more happier~ I'm learning to put it all down, I'm learning to tell myself my father is a betrayer is nothing, I'm learning to tell myself, dun take it too hard, one day you will leave them, long enough for them to realise that, I already gone...

OK la~ Update! HAHA!!

2010-02-04T07:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, OMG! My last update was 24 November! Wasei! Really! I was busy like hell!! So sorry ppl for not update often, now sleeping is really so important to me man! I m always dead tired! HAHAH!! But it's ok i think, cuz there's only one loyal reader will read my blog which is dewy~ HAHAHAA!! Thanks dew! I guess i dun need to post any update u will also know everything since we keep emailed each other everyday! HAHAHA!!

OK! YES! Emails! Really during working hours, emails from frens really can refresh urself! HAHAHA!! It's so happy to see emails from ur frens! Like YES! Finally not job orders! hahaha!! Well, after almost 5 months torture, i m still hee-haw! No change! Just becoming more and more tired everyday! Sigh! I can feel myself getting weaker and weaker. Nowadays i sleep early like 10 + or 11+, but the next day i still feel super damn tired, tired walking, tired eating, tired talking. My every single cells are yelling for a rest! But this stupid idiot company just can't seem to understand the word "OVERLOAD". They are really suckers! This is the time i realise how selfish a person can get when u r in crucial moment! WTH! Like i keep helping the uncle to do the rubber stamp, cuz if i dun help him, i also kena what! So i m just a volunteer to help ok! But so sorry ar, this uncle also like keep asking finish already? As if these are my jobs! WALAO! Nvm, those sales ppl even more suckers! When comes to urgent item, who care u r exhausted or wahtever, even if u can't give them, what do u think? U r the one to take the blame la! REALLY Suckers! Then the IP site aunty keep forcing me to do urgent work. SO DEAD TIRED LA! Sigh!! T.T

I really hate working there. I dun mind to do prints, but i just feel like running away from these ppl. Seriously tot i m machine or what! Chang min ar~ When are u coming to save me from this miserable life? I hate working there, but no choice, need to save money, to fly to ur side! Fortune teller aunty! Pls tell me all u said are truth! I will marry chang min la!! HAHAHA!! OMG! Really can't wait man. Dew! Let's jia you la! We are now walking towards them, i know very hard, but really nvm, if only i can stand beside them forever, how hard i will give a try man HAHAA!!! :)

OKOK! Omg! tired dead meat wanna sleep liao~ to be continue ok? So sorry for the short update~ :(

Bad mood day.

2009-11-24T05:44:00.000-08:00

Yes! I'm having a bad mood day! I guess my facial expression was kinda scary to those who dunno me yet. HAHA!! It's that kind of "dun come near me" facial expression! hahahaah!! It's so funny, morning when i'm heading to work, i still feel normal and ok. But once i step into the office, the anger started to flood in! And i can tell the sales ppl are kind of scared of me! HAHAHAH!! YES! That's what i wan!

Then I sit down and think over it, yes! Must be that stupid idiot WAVE fault yesterday! seriously can go eat shit. Well, i dun think i need to repeat the incident la, since i already told my only two readers of my blog. But for those who happens to pass by, just a very brief explanation of the incidents la. This bloody sucking company wants to come out with a calendar to give their client. As everyone can see, I'm almost BUSY everyday, so my supervisor - Da bing pass this job to my new colleague who is almost the same time enter this company la. From NAFA somemore. But, sorry, he really like year one student. I guess year one student might be better than him. He got the skill, but too bad, dun have common sense! Whatever design he propose, ppl haven't even agree with the design, he already do like whole set, which everything looks the same. So, me, not only a junior graphic designer in the office, but also the photographer, sales, uncle supervisor, even LECTURER have to guide him. HE REALLY THINK I M FREE OR WHAT?!! Always you ask him to change something, he will be like okok, then come out totally different. I wonder he can understand human language or not. And that's the reason why i keep asking him to change. But guess what, in the end, the whole calendar, he just do the design part, which is seriously very simple, I did the date arrangement, layout for the calendar, test prints, almost everything. SUPPOSINGLY, I'm only in charge of printing part. During this period of time, all those rubberstamps from his site passed to our office to do. I really cannot think of what else he can do there.

And becuz of that, I exploded! Cuz he is super irritating, still saying, you all dun think i m very free there, i got a lot of things to do too. Aiya, you all got your reason and my reason is excuse. THanks ah! I see this sentence i almost wan to break my phone ok! But forthe sake of chang min i won't! This is the first time i shiver from the anger! Really thanks a lot to this idiot. And till today, i'm still doing the calendar, at the same time, doing his site of rubberstamps, and other stuffs. I have a feeling i m going to continue this BAD MOOD till i finish printing the calendar. HE IS SUPER IRRITATING. I was so damn wrong to think he can help me cut down my work, he is THERE to add on my job load. Oh god! :(

Not much stuff to update, my life still normal. Tired, tired and tired. Except, i miss chang min more! hahahahaha!!! This is a good thing though! Sorry for the randomness. I will try to kick off this bloody mood! Argh!!! T.T

Working life sucks...

2009-10-10T07:25:00.000-07:00

Oh people, so sorry for the late update!! haha!! But I think actually not really need to update too since we almost speak to each other every day!! haha!! And I dun think my Malaysia frens wants to read this too... It's ok, I dun really care!

Well, after the last post, long period of being a slacker at home, I finally found a job. Before this job started, I went to Pagesetters four days for emergency help. Shouldn't go there man! Now I compare the current job with Pagesetters, really, THIS COMPANY SUCKS LIKE WHAT MAN!!!

The company is a stationary provider company. They do a lot of rubber stamps and print namecards for ppl. But seriously, one month only, I already cried twice. Everyday drag my feet to there, angry, depress, tired. Repeating the same process over and over again. Well, you might say I m too pampered. But I'm sorry, it's not like I dun want to do, it's TOO MANY THINGS that I NEED to do! WTH! Can u imagine whole company only one designer!? It's really bloody sucking ok!! My jobscope really can divide for two or three person to do. What else can i describe the company except of bloody sucking, irritating, hell all these words?

The colleagues there likes to show off. Especially the stupid idiot boss!!! Always show off how rich he is! WTH! You think only you r rich is it!? Really irritating man! And his sister, omg! Totally like a witch! There's only two good person there, production uncle and the aunty in their branch! I really fell like burn down the whole company man. I try to put up with them, but really can;t stand their attitude! as if I MUST put up with them! WALAO WEI! My temper also not that good ok!!! I was planning to work for at least half year there at first, but now, sorry, I dun think i can put up for three months. They really hitting my limit man!

Everyday go home acting like a walking zombie. Even my aunt know I'm not happy. But what bothering me the most is that, at first, my mum and my sis, keep pushing me to accept the job. Really can't wait for me to go. Ok, but now they see how "GOOD" the company is, immediately they change their mind 360 degree. Now KEEP ASKING ME TO QUIT!!! SEE!!!! Really cannot tahan both of them man!!! What u two want?! U want me to go for work, ok, now i m working but tired like a dead meat everyday, and now u two keep asking me to quit. It's not like i can't bear to leave ok!! (WHO THE HELL WILL FEEL THAT WAY FOR THIS KIND OF COMPANY MAN!) It's that I dun want to be a irresponsible person. I dun wan to spoilt my own reputation and I feel that I have a responsible to do it. I dun wan ppl to think like I cannot take tough job. Till the day I finally faint in the company within these three months I will quit without all these stupid thinking.

I was really disappointed last few days. My mum called few days ago, of cuz, she couldn't find my sis, and I was her back up caller. Then I kind of like telling how the company gave me lesser pay and extend the working hour. I just want to tell her what's happening like I wanted her to know what I did in school, although she never pay attention to me forever. And guess what she said? She just scolded me thru the other end, "just quit la! Work like this everyday come home and lose ur temper, might as well quit!" WTH! So, I was losing my temper to her is it? Or she can't bear to imagine her precious princess daughter to be the victim everyday? I was really so depress that day that I can't controlled myself and cried on the phone while speaking with chan chan! Really very depress. I lost my family entirely. I m now an orphan. (dew, i'm not stealing ur line but really i feel the same way!) I rather be alone. It's really depressing to work in this kind of unappreciative company, and when i think I just lost my dad, i still have my mum, and feel like run to my mum embrace, and my mum push me out. Just imagine how this would hurt. And my sis, just keep thinking i m over react. Actually all of them concern me a lot. Sorry ya, princess sister, please keep in mind, in their heart I was dead long time ago or never exist before. You are their only daughter and the only princess ever! You dun need to do house chores, you can mess the house up, you can do whatever you like without getting a scold. But what m i to them but a maid?! So please stop saying all those kind of stuff. I dun wan to hear it ANYMORE. I m disappointed enough that my heart already dead. If i can fly away to somewhere, I WILL. WITHOUT THINKING!

Currently, i just dun feel any better. I really enjoyed every friday night hang out with u guys. Cuz I can totally forget about all these things. Sigh~ 2009 really sucks to me.

OK, should stop complaining. I'm dead tired. Need a good rest. Hope my next post would be a more positive post. I'm sorry for all the negative posts, people.

Almost....Immuned

2009-09-05T07:30:00.000-07:00

I guess i m almost immuned to the pain my family gave me. Although i still feel miserable staying at home, but now seems like those hurtful words not really hurt to me.

Yesterday, again, I came back to the house i called "Home". Well, I dun understand why I still come back when there's no room for me. I always sleep with my mum as u guys knows since my parents sleep seperately. I guess i'm going to fall into a flu as I was suffering from sore throat and feeling unwell. I told my mum, but she really just pretend like never heard anything from me. Well, that's not hurting me anymore since she always react this way to me. But because of this, i was cold. But my mum loves air-con and her MINYAK KAPAK!! OMG! I really hates the smell of 风油. Cuz that will make me hard to breath. So i sneak out from the room and read eclipse outside. In the living room, my sis was watching all about TVXQ. Sigh~ dunno how many times. Then I asked her if she wants to sleep with my mum, she said NO, I m going to on the air-con. well, she just dun like to sleep with my mum. I dun understand, since she loves my mum so much why can't she sleeps with her? Sigh~ then I think of sleep in the living room. But I scared I will get scold the next day. So I wait till the smell get off and got back to the room which belongs to my mum and sleep. Sigh.. Why i can't have my own room when everyone in this house have one? How i wish i can sleep in the living room man. or i shouldn't come back? Well, I have decided, once i start working, I m not going back that often. Once in two or three weeks.

And today, another words from my mum stung me well enough. Me and my sis were eating with my mum in some restaurant. She was telling us some aunty gave birth a baby when she was 40 years old. Then my sis told her there's quite a few of her frens' parents also like that, so my age distance with her is not a big deal. And here comes the hurtful words from my mum. She said, If not that I had took off two babies, that hurt my body till i feel like dying, I'm not going to give birth of you! (Which means she knows it's hurtful to take off baby, and she had took two off, so she dun wan to suffer again so she decided to give birth of me!) Yes, I'm not a baby that everyone was looking forward to. My mum went to the hospital herself. I really thought she wanted me cuz she needs accompany or some other reason. But sorry, as what u saw, i m a burden to her. I m here becuz she dun want to hurt her body anymore. Well, I really rather u took me off. At least i won't suffering like this. At least u dun have to keep complaining about my back, feel that it's a burden to u. But i dun really feel as sad as i discover the betrayer's mistress. i m probably immuned to them. i know one day i will get out of this place. i know this is certainly not a right place to me. i would stick to u for long, no worries. i will disappear someday, till u dun even realise u actually have two daughters. U only have two children. A boy and a girl. i m clear of what i m now. i m the maid. no doubt. It's obvious.

Well, i really not feeling so well. i m going to get a flu. But who else will care in this HOUSE anyway? So, I think the best way to cure would be music. I'm going to rest. sorry for this random enough post. T.T

Memories

2009-08-27T10:39:00.000-07:00

I m so in the mood to write blog. But I realise this August is kind of sad for me. All my posts were totally negative. I can't find more than 10 "haha" in my posts. But I'm sorry to disappoint u guys that this might be another negative post.

Yesterday while I was writing the previous post, I was calm, or should I say I m more angry than sad. So I was not crying. But when I saw what Le xin commented, saying her tears dropped when she read my blog. That moment, I really wanted to cry. Cuz I know there always my best frens support around me. Although I like to keep my problem, although I dun like to show my sad face, but I know, no matter how, U guys still by my side supporting me. I felt happy. To have true frens around me.

Just now I was reading what I wrote yesterday. Reminds me to take a look at the father I love the most in the past. Our family dun take a lot of photos, as in Family Photo. I am always so desperate to have one. And there's one, with my grandma, my caring dad, lovely mum, beloved brother and sister and myself. If I'm not wrong, this was taken after my brother's farewell dinner. He was going to study in Australia. Our very first study oversea brother among three families. (Oliver family, Lee family & Tay family) I looked at the photo, as if I have found my own father, the previous one. His look, his sight, his appearance, were so familiar to me that i miss them so much. And then I looked at my brother. I seriously din realise that I miss my brother that much. Once again, I cried. This time I was weeping. then only I realised I was that sad, I was that desperate for a happy family that i used to have.

I was listening to my three favourite korean sad songs. I always do this when I'm sad. I like to listen to them, and cry outloud, cuz i believe after that, I will feel better. I dun get bored of three of them. I can listen to them for thousand times, just keep repeating. I m probably mad or what. then I sat on the floor against the wall, closed my eyes, start to recall my memories of my once happy family. I recalled back how my house looked like before the renovation. I recalled our laughter in the house. I recalled back how my father drag me to my room and force me to sleep. I recalled back how my brother try to trick me to eat carrot. I recalled back the very unfamiliar scene that my mum was telling some jokes to my dad and we all laugh. I recalled back I was on my parents bed, listen to my dad's fart and how I laughed like mad and he faster ran to the toilet. It's supposed to be a funny memory but why m i sitting on this cold floor crying so sad that i can feel my heartache. I really dun feel like open my eyes. I wish I can just turn back the time, all these it's just a nightmare to me. But when I open my eyes, it's the same cold house. I m stil sitting alone, listening to my favourite korean sad songs. Nothing had changed.

Then i decided to flip back my past diaries. I want to see what did I write. Although not much posts, but all are about the sad memories i had. Oh yes, now only i remember. i only write diary when i m sad. Cuz i have no one to talk to. i can only write. and i know at that time, I do hope my parents would knwo how I feel. To my horror, almost every post, I was hoping to die at the moment. i dunno I was that miserable at that time. But not really wan to die, cuz i still have may things not done yet. I end every post with saying goodbye with my parents, asking them to take care. Yes, the memories are back. the darkest period of my life. Or I should say just dark period cuz probably now is darkest just that the difference is that now I have someone to talk to, that time i really dun have anyone.

After flipping thru all the entries, I realised how i envy my sis so much. How my mum din change from that time till now. Still love my sis. I get scold quite often. Even when i was sad for my result, even when my mum forgot to fetch me, even when my body cause them so many trouble and so on. I realised i complaint mostly about my mum. Recording what she said to me about my dad and her words that stung me till now. I mostly wrote that my father doesn't care at all. So, i wrote very little about him. Only one lousy english entry, trying to persuade him to change his attitude, complaining how he treated the maid better than treated us. All the memories flow in. I remember every single scene I wrote. i remember my mum face when she said those hurting words. I remember how others like my sis than me. And to my surprise, over almost 6 years, things doesn't change much and seems like getting worse. My mum still love my sis more. my brother i think needless to say ok! My father, even worse. 2003 my mum told me there's a woman keep calling his hp. Wah! 6 years. I din know he is so good at keeping secret. Of cuz my mum got no evident. She just think there's someone out there. over so many years, he is worse. so all these years I suffered so much just because of that bloody bitchy slut out there?

Now only I know, my father already left me for so many years. even before I graduated from primary school. How can he just left like that? I dun even have time to say goodbye to him. I dun even have time to tell him, I love him a lot. How can he just left like that? I have been an idiots for so many years, still hoping he will come back. But WHY he dun tell me he is going to leave and another stranger going to replace him? suddenly, i m scared. I had live with a stranger who I tot is my father for so so long time. Trying to put up with him, trying to drag him back. Like what I wrote in my diary, I need to beg to the god that hoping there's no fight between my parents. Even till now, I'm still begging. I felt tat I m very pathetic. Since I were a kid, nobody likes me. till now, still the same. Oh probably slightly better now. Cuz i have u guys by my side. Now only i know why I m so lucky to meet u guys. Probably my wai po saw me so she leads me to u guys. that's the way i m trying to convince myself. Although i dun really think my wai po will remember me. But I feel better to think this way.

I need a break. I started to hate the house i called home. I dun have my own room. Everytime I come back, my only job is to keep the house clean. What did the house give me in return? Hurt, bad memories, sad. Yes, I think the wall in my house is the only one tat really understand me in this house. They saw me crying alone, weeping alone, get scold from my parents and so much more. But I m really scared now. I got NO HOME. Not any single place that I can feel safe and peaceful. I m homeless. I m scared to step into this house again. I dun wan to face my parents. I dun wan to face the stranger, I dun wan to hear my mum complaints. I HAVE ENOUGH OF THAT!! WOULD U GUYS JUST LEAVE ME ALONE? I dun understand why my mum wants me back. But now I know, so that she can complain to me. So that i can keep the house. So thatshe can fight my dad with me but not alone although we both knows all these stupid actions are nothing to him. The house had changed. Probably prettier than last time, but what's the point while the people inside dun feel happy anymore? Sometimes I rather my dad din earn much money. Although i dunno how much he earned only till my cousin's incident then only i realise he WAS tat rich. Yea, only rich business man will attract sluts.

This is no longer my home. I hate this kind of feel. I got no place to go. I wan to fly off to Australia to look for my brother but I wonder he would like to see me. And WHERE TO FIND THE MONEY?! Singapore? NO! It's not ALONE!! I wan to go somewhere ALONE. that i dun need to see all these things. I wan to go somewhere I will feel peaceful, feel relax. But where? I have no idea. My eyes are aching. Probably too much water flow out just now. Sigh.... So these are my teenage memories? So this is the conclusion I get? Probably i was bad enough in my last life that I DESERVE all these now. Why is this tunnel so long? I walk for almost 10 years, but still haven't found the exit to get out. I wonder when can I find my exit... another 10 years? or never......

I'm officially fatherless

2009-08-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

Yes, after my last post, i think this is no longershocking to u guys la. Well, like I said, I m officially fatherless from now.

26 August 2009, 10 days after my 21st birthday, my dad gave me the best present ever - I found that he really having an affair with a bloody sickening irritating woman. I dunno who is she, but i hate her right bottom from my heart for destructing my fragile enough family.

How i found that my father having an affair with someone? Well, I just know it. U might be thinking i m just wasting my time rubbishing here, think too much, but so sorry, I got all the evidences!! How i wish he can read this post with his bloody irritating slut.

When i confirmed the fact that he really betrayed my mum and us, of cuz I cried. Although i more or less can guess that he has a mistress outside, but I think I still secretly hope that it's just me being too sensitive. It's just me that I think too much. And I think that's y I cried. But to my surprise, I dun really feel sad about it. I cried for a while, feeling miserable that moment. But after that, all back to normal. So normal that made me scared. I tried to figure out why I dun feel sad after that. Then I came to a conclusion that, because the guy in my house who i called dad is no longer my former beloved caring FATHER. He is no longer that father who used to dote me a lot, care for the family, care for his children, the wise man I used to respect a lot. The current stranger in my house, I dunno him at all. He is totally a different person from my father. I dunno where my beloved father had gone. I think he already vanished from this world forever. And because that stranger already drilled a big hole in my heart and now it's not a big deal.

I think a lot after i found out that my so call "father" betrayed my family. I m so angry and was super sad. I felt betrayed. U know what? When my parents started not to talk to each other, I still secretly hope that one day my "father" will change back to the previous one and treat my mum well. So everytime, when my "father" in good mood, do something that we think that as improvement, I can see how happy my mum actually was. And of cuz, I was happy to see that. Cuz my family not going to end miserably. And now i think back, I felt like a retard. I felt cheated. We tolerated for his weird temper all the time, I worked so hard to be the ideal daughter in his mind, my mum worked so hard to maintain his career, and see what we get. Betrayer! Liar! I was seriously too mad that I felt like burn down his room. Yes! "father" U better read this post now ok!! Before he went to China, I avoided him by hiding in Singapore. Cuz I was sad. As u can see from my previous post. But since that day till now, I din speak a word to my "father". Before this, I think it's me being too petty. But now, I think i m right. Cuz now when i look at him, I think he is such a dirty irritating man. Everytime he grabs his car key, I will tell myself, 'yes, time to meet the slut!' Like what i told le xin, if ever let me see who is she, I m going to slap her on her face till she's swollen!!! I dun care if my "dad" wan to kill me afterward, I wan to slap her face with my own hand!

I want to ask my "dad", so are u happy now, with ur new girlfren? thanks so much for all the miserable life u gave me ok! Thanks so much to set me and my mum both into depression during my sec school period. Thanks for always trying to start a fight with my mum and set me as the victim afterward. Thank god! I m really thankful to U for letting me know he has a mistress outside. I m miserable enough. I dunno who can i talk to. Definitely not my mum, I'm not that dumb! My brother? hopeless, I dun think he can do anything. My sister? Even worse, she will end up doing something that can cause my life even more miserable as u guys know she is the best daughter in the world. I got no one to talk to, but u guys, my closest frens! Nobody else bother to read my blog even i dun set a password. Pls forgive me I can't tell u guys one by one. cuz that day when I talk to Le xin, I almost going to cry on the phone. I dun think i can handle.

I do love my parents. I love my dad. the previous one. Not I wan to be mean, but as u guys can see, how my 'father" stab me to kill my heart personally. I m not gonna forgive a betrayer like him. He is the one who killed me and the family. Now he is such an eyesore to me! He is so dirty. Everytime i saw him i keep recall those words he sent to his girlfriend. Seriously, he is way too overboard. Now i dun care about him anymore. But too indifferent to him, might get scold from my sis for being so rude to him. But i dun care and dun mind. Myself know the truth should be enough. I dun wan any other from my family get hurt like me. Of cuz, i will still try harder to be filial to him. But dun get that wrong, I m just trying to pay off all my debts. The debt that he used to love me as a daughter, the debt that provided me a good environment and so on. From now on, I dun wan to use the dirty money he earned. Anything from him is a NO! I will work harder to earn my own sch fees.

Well, what is this house to him? Just a house for him to stay. What is my mum to him? A cook to him so that he dun need to eat outside everyday. What is me to him? A maid to clean his room and change the bedsheet, pay his phone bill and etc. What is my sister to him? His daughter. Only daughter that going to take over his business, so that he can go without worrying, probably go somewhere with that slutty bitch. I dunno. And my brother? Of cuz still his son. He is always concern about him the most. I can see that thru his every little actions. I'm good at observing people.

I dun bear to see my mum now. I can't bear to see she is happy for any of my "father"'s improvement. I can't bear to see she works so hard for the man who betrayed her.

What did i do wrong? Is it that I DUN deserve a happy family? Yes, ppl might be envy that, I got a comfort house to stay, two siblings who cares for me, money to buy anything i wan. But I M NOT HAPPY! So what's the point? He was torturing me all these years. I HATE him! Seriously! Before I know all this, I tot my mum might did something to provoke him without her knowing. It's just his weird temper. After all, he is still my dad. But now NO! I feel like let myself keep bleeding, I wan to bleed out all the blood from my body. I dun wan to have HIS genes in my body. I even think of plastic surgery like what Michael Jackson did just to look different from his father. I m miserable enough. And now, I m dead. my heart is dead. Only when today my mum passed my brother's call to me, knowing that someone still concern me the most out there in this family (of cuz my sister concern about me too), then i know, i'm not fully dead. cuz I still have them, and my mum. But that man already made me a dying zombie. 70% died. Thanks to him. HE had lost all my respect to him, although he dun even care.

I deserve a lightning strike for talking all these here. But this is supposed to be a place for me to throw out anything I wan. I m hoping him to read this with that slut! I wan him to know how he KILLED his daughter with his hand and I will never forgive him! Even the lightning going to strike on me now, I still hate him no matter what! I rather die than sitting here to be recognize as his daughter.

U might think I m just over-react. But could u tolerate ur father to have an affair outside? Who knows one day will they be anyone coming to my house saying that they are my "father"'s children? My behaviour might be too much, but I'm sorry! I can't tolerate betrayer. Especially when i look at my mum, I felt so sorry to her.

Goodbye to my beloved dad, the previous one. I will love u always right in my heart although i know u will never never come back to me. I miss u, dad! And the stranger in my house! if u ever hurt my mum again, U watch and see what I will do to u and ur slutty bitchy girlfren! Of cuz i won't do something too extreme but I wan u to feel guilty till ur next life for hurting MY FAMILY!

Happy 21st... to myself

2009-08-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

Yes, I'm officially 21 now. Well, like i said, I wasn't looking forward to this meaningful birthday. I felt bad.

Well, my father went to China as planned. So my birthday he was definitely out. But how sarcastic, theday before my birthday, i went to buy a handphone for my dad's present with my sis. We wanted to buy him one for so long, but u guys know my sis rite, totally if u dun push her she dun move one! Ask her to ask for the price and look for information, she took forever to do it. So, I straight away drag her there and buy it! Of cuz three of us share la. But I m just wondering. I dunno if he won't scold us or whatever. I wonder he would like it, but now it doesn't matter to me any more.

the day before my birthday, my mum asked a few of her frens, my godmother, three little cuties (including my new little brother Li Ge and his two sister Li Jie & Li Huan) and their lovely mother to our house. My mum cooked the dinner, and of cuz needless to say, I was the maid to do the housechores. Seriously, i can't imagine if i go Australia for years, how this house would turn like man! Just two weeks time, the house already a total MESS!! My sister seriously very good at this ok!! And my mum dun even wan to speak a word! I seriously wonder m i born to be their maid!!!!!!!! But I know, I m just a maid at home. My sister is the princess. I HATE sharing room with her! I HATE sharing room with others. I dun wan to sleep with my mum too. But only her princess can have one whole room, If i go over now, she will be sensative again, say i m like my father again. But all my things still in my room with my sis. The day i came back, I went into my room, I almost faint on the spot! How i wish i can just die now man!! It's a total MESS!!! How come that princess can stay in the rubbish one!!?? When I opened my cupboard, wanting to keep those clothes on the bed, I really wish I can just BURN all her clothes off!! Why everytime i need to fold and fold. It's like I'm keeping things in front, she is throwing things behind! I was SO ANGRY that I throw things, I cried. Seriously I wan to get out of this house one day!!!!!!! I dun wan to stay with her anymore!! In Singapore I need to keep the room for her, come back I still have to! I m BORN TO BE MAID!

Yes, saturday, while mum busy preparing the food, I swept the floor, mopped the floor, tidy up things and wiped all tables in my house plus my mum's things. Tired till i wan to faint. But guess what the princess was doing? Watching drama using the com and do her cross stitch. BUSY rite? that's y i need to do all these myself! And it was my birthday if i m not wrong. thanks.

But I had a good time due to my cute new little brother. HAHA! He brought me one box of London Strawberry Roll for my present! hahahaha!! So cute!! I bought some toys for three of them in toy museum, give them as a little gift. they were super happy! :) then he sang me the birthday song beside my ear, with all of them la, after that, he blew off my candles! hahahaha!! I dun get any chance to blow! hahaha!! So funny, then he said innocently, u all said ok one mah! HAHAHAH!! So cute!! Then he sang the chinese version to me again, and this time we blew together! HAHA! Really thanks to him, if not I dun think my birthday will be happy.

Right after the celebration, we rushed to my best buddy in klg - Justin's house. He has the same birthday as mine and he was having a big party there! but then my mum suddenly said she not going with us, cuz her frens asked her to go out. Great right?! Well, that's my parents. Then I went there with my sis, I felt like an orphan. I got no parents. Justin's parents was by his side, and my parents? One went to China, one went out to meet fren. Yes! No big deal. But m I that irritating that even just ten minutes u can't go with me. When Justin asked me where's my mum, I just tell him, with frens. When I was chatting with Uncle Lee, one of my dad's best fren, He said : "Ur father told me he is going to china next week. I also dunno which week he mention. then he said is 11 august that week, then i was wondering, Sunday not Khai Xin's birthday meh?" Even the Uncle Lee remember, why can't my dad remember too! Purposely choose this day to embarrass me. Nicholas even teased me whether my dad going to take china PR! YES! Faster go take and dun come back again!

Actual day, nothing different from other sunday. Lying here and there. reading New Moon. night time my mum said her frens asked her to go out have dinner so i tag along. I tot is just a dinner. Sorry ar, it's just a bunch of aunties, sitting in the Karaoke, singing and playing there. My 21st birthday, need to take pictures for aunties, listening to awful singing. Actually my mum brought me there to be driver and jsut have dinner there. She is the one who go there and PLAY! Then, I'm so thankful to my xiao di and Fui Ting. they save me out of this terrible place. So I drove out to celebrate with them. Actually just five of us la. chatting and eat cakes. But that's more than enough for me. thanks xiao di for specially come back this week. But guess what, before that my mum said she will ask ppl fetch her back, yes, the ppl is ME! It was my birthday, can't i just enjoy my time with my frens for just few hours. So, I drive back to fetch her and her fren back. Then drive out again. How I hope i got into accident and die on the day of my birthday! they hurt me a lot. I m not the one who think i m a maid myself. It's their behaviour that tells me u r just a maid and driver. But I was happy at least for that few hours with my frens. If not, i might sink into depression at home, crying alone again.

I wanna get out of this hell. seriously. I hate this kind of feeling! I dun wan to stay with my sis! I wan to stay alone! Everytime i tell her to tidy up her things in the end i get scold. Yes! How can a maid scold the princess.. Sigh.. This birthday was memorable enough, but in a very wrong way.

thanks to all of u for sending me birthday wishes. I knew i still got frens to support me. :) It's really sweet of u guys! And I love all my family members in Singapore. U guys are always my support ok! Without u guys I might not be able to write blog here. thanks!

21st birthday, I wish I get a nice job soon. I wish TVXQ will not disband and all of us can marry TVXQ la!! haha!! then I wish everyone around me, happy and healthy always~ Happy birthday to myself. ;)

我的爸爸...去了哪里？

2009-08-04T14:31:00.000-07:00

现在已经凌晨5点多了，可是我却一点也不想睡。原来一个人伤心到极点时，是会吃不下睡不着的。原来电视剧从来都没有欺骗过观众。我，就好像戏里的主角，夜深人静时，一个人听着歌，坐在床上，突然想起了以前的那个爸爸。

曾经，我想过投稿一篇文章到小学时的星星报。我想写关于我的偶像，于是我不停的挣扎，该写妈妈还是爸爸。因为在我心里，他们都是。妈妈进得厨房，出得厅堂。爸爸好像一个万能的人，好像没有什么东西难倒得了他。我，其实很想写关于我的爸爸，但最后我好像还是没有写，反而投稿了在学校的其中一篇作文。对，曾经，我的爸爸是我的偶像。

其实，在这种夜深人静的时候，不睡觉，反而写这些，在别人看来，可能只是一个幼稚又不成熟的行为。我本来也不想写，但是想着想着还是又打开了电脑。因为这是我活了这么久以来，第一次真正明白什么是心痛的感觉。也许这篇文章会给你们带来负担，但对不起，我真的只想抒发情绪。

刚才听着歌，看着快天亮的夜空，我回想起了以前那个疼爱我的爸爸。从我小时候，一直到现在，爸爸的变化。

爸爸，

您还记得吗？小时候，您最疼的就是我。而我也比较喜欢粘着您，因为妈妈太凶了。
还记得那张您抱着大概3岁时的我的照片，当时您是笑得多么开心。
还记得以前幼稚园时，一睡醒，就起身帮您跑到迷你市场买报纸，之后您总会把剩下的两角钱给我当跑腿费。
还记得以前上幼稚园，虽然学校离家很近，但您每次都会载我去上学。
以前的我，很爱撒娇。时常半夜跑到你们的房间，挤在爸妈中间睡觉，因为我觉得很有安全感。
还记得小时候，我很怕黑，总要开着厕所的灯，才没那么害怕，这可害惨了姐姐。所以您买了一个猫眼灯，放在房里。这样我就不会害怕。
还记得以前，到了晚上10点，你一定会拖着我去睡觉。即使在那个暂时住的家，你曾把我当拐杖，扶着我一步一步慢慢的上楼睡觉。
我还记得你总喜欢跟我开玩笑，把我骗得团团转。
晚上看电视时，我总会坐在你的sarong上吃花生，就好像在荡秋千一样。
我总会问你很多奇奇怪怪的问题，你也总会用你的幽默来回答我，让我觉得我的爸爸很有趣。
记得有一次，放学回来，我很累，不肯去冲凉，你用打苍蝇的扫把一路把我从客厅打到冲凉房去。姐姐说，我很厉害，因为他是第一次看爸爸打人。
记得礼拜天，我早起时，总会用瘙痒脚板的方式叫醒你。因为你是这么叫醒我的。
记得当我考试考得不好，只拿60几分，被妈妈骂后，你对我说：干嘛拿这么多分？不是越少分越好吗？应该拿零嘛！听完后，心情不好的我还是笑了。这是你安慰我的方式。
还记得每次开学前一天，我总会紧张得睡不着觉，你教了我一个到现在我还在用的方法。就是一直想着relax.. relax..
还记得假期时，你总会带我们一家人去玩。星期天也总是跟uncle Lee 一家人一起去吃早餐。
还记得上长城时，你拉我跟你和导游uncle一起上到更高的地方。
还记得我参加游泳比赛，每次拿奖牌回来，你故意泼我冷水的时候。“你拿第一？只有你一个人比啊？”
还记得刚上中学，很多东西不明白，您很有耐心的，一样一样教我，虽然你的马来文挺烂的。

当然也许还有好多好多是我记不得的。但是这么一个好爸爸，在我初中一左右，就慢慢地失踪了。反而站在我眼前的，是一个很陌生的爸爸。这个爸爸，不知道为了什么，突然不跟妈妈说话，突然变得讨厌妈妈，害得妈妈天天借酒消愁，天天以泪洗面。自己有多迟回家就呆多迟。您知道吗，因为你，那段时间成为了我这一辈子再也不想回忆的时间。因为我是看着妈妈为了你有多伤心，时不时就去看看妈妈，因为我怕他会自杀，我怕他会离开我，我怕他会跟你离婚。我的眼泪，流得最多就是那段时间。老实说，我很痛苦，因为我真的不想看到你们离婚。所以我告诉自己一定要尽可能不让你们吵架。每当去到同学家，看见别人的家庭那么美好，总会很难过。放学回家，别人都是父母载送，我不是坐朋友的顺风车，就是舅舅载我。就算有一天舅舅忘了载我，当我回到家时，只剩佣人。你们一点也不担心，载我回家的是同车的同学的父母。当我看到他们一家人来载他，我当下真想哭出来，但我还是忍了。因为我想，你们应该会在家等我。结果我真的是白痴，因为我回来时，家里已经空无一人，只剩佣人。

一直到现在，这个爸爸只有让我越来越失望。在我的记忆里，这一段时间，我记起的只有你骂我，投诉这个，投诉那个的那张脸。我忘了你笑起来是什么样子。我只记得强词夺理的你，不顾后果我行我素的你。就因为你，我总是成为这场战争的受害者。妈妈因为你心情不好，就出气在我身上。我回家时，你宁可去跑步也不来载我回家，让我只能在巴士上偷偷流泪。而回家的路上，又得莫名其妙地挨骂。每次跟你商量事情，你想回答才回答，不想回答就一走了之，留下一个烂摊让我收场。哥哥的毕业典礼有你，姐姐的毕业典礼，有妈妈跟奶奶，也许你要工作走不开，而我的毕业典礼，只有姐姐和妈妈。你跟奶奶说，继续借钱给那个废物，会对不起你的孩子。原来你一直都对哥哥姐姐感到愧疚，可是你却没有因为没让我上大学而感到丝毫愧疚。我真的很难过，但我告诉自己，算了，因为你现在有困难，考到了执照，我读不读大学也不重要，就好像你说的。但是为什么你连让我读大学的想法都没有。那也算了。待在家的几个月，我也尽量做到让你无可挑剔。你不喜欢的，我统统都改了。你不喜欢乱，那我就收拾。总之就是想办法让你没借口来骂妈妈。但是，我现在才发现，我真的很傻，因为不管我做什么，你都不会喜欢，你也看不见。在家里我只是个佣人。无论我多努力，你都不会看到我的存在。一样我行我素，想去哪里就去哪里，留下生气的妈妈和被出气的我。但是当我听到我生日时，你去旅行，我才真正的了解，以前疼爱我的爸爸，在我的心里，已经去了一个很遥远的地方，永永远远都不会回来了。也许你们觉得我很幼稚，但是我只是希望，21岁生日，这么有意义的一天，我们一家可以和平的，不吵架，好好吃一顿晚饭，吃个蛋糕，之后你要出去也好随便你。但是更讽刺的是，别人的爸爸要为他的儿子开派对。我的爸爸竟然去旅行。我想你根本就不记得。谢谢你，因为这一次我才透彻的醒过来了。你没有可能会变回以前那个爸爸。我知道说到底你还是我的爸爸，但是很对不起，你的一切一切让我失去了对你的尊敬。往后我还是会继续做到不让你失望，继续尽我的孝道，只是很抱歉，你已经不是那个我最敬爱的爸爸了。我只是为了不让战争继续，为了报答你对我的养育之恩。我的心，已经快死了。要是你身边真的有另一个女人，很好，那我的心就是被你亲手杀死了。

也许你们觉得没什么大不了，但是对我来说，已经负荷不了了。所以，以前的那个爸爸，他，还会回来吗？我想不会，但我希望下辈子，那个离我而去的爸爸，能够回来。

Heartaching...

2009-08-03T10:33:00.000-07:00

Yes! Right now my heart is aching. I am sad right now. Really sad. Of cuz it's something to do with my family again. I wonder why i couldn't have a happy family.

Last three weeks, I was in Malaysia. As a maid at home. Well, all these years, since my parents start the war, I did a lot of things to prevent the fight. My mum is a very forgetful person. She always forget what she bought and leave it there till that things expired or rotten. And my father is a very neat person. He cannot stand of all these things. My mum and sis are kind of messy too. Their rooms and belongings, sigh, even me also mou ngan tai! And my dad is very good at picking out all these flaws!! He dun like messy dirty house. He dun like the slippers anyhow place at the doorstep. He dun like junk food at home. He dun like my mum's car, cuz it's always messy and with lot's of bird droppings. And my mum got no time to wash the car, so forgetful to throw away her tissue. There's a lot more. But all these years, since the war started, I did tons of thing just try to prevent the fight. I know what my father dun like, so all these years, I put in so many effort just try to make him satisfied. Till now, i dunno how many hei guo i help my mum and sis to bear. Even till now, I m still doing it. I just hope they can stop fighting. Everytime they talking to each other, i m nervous, that's very pathetic right. I just scared my dad would provoke my mum and again i will be the victim. Cuz my mum would start to complaint to me. That's my family.

Recently, I m more disappointed with my parents. No matter how hard i try, they just can't see me. My dad feels sorry to my brother and sis for keep on borrowing money to my cousin. But when i approached him and told him i got accepted by RMIT, he just asked me, what course is that, and only look at the cover of the brochure, and look back to his computer. He dun even have the thoughts of let me continue my study. It's just all my fat hope thought that he would wan me to continue. He said if i take his remisier license, then dun need all that. Ok, but why u din even think of at least let me finish a degree. Ok, that's fine. I can earn my own money, go and study part time course. Cuz all his money belongs to my cousin. Not mine. I dun wan to take either. And my father very bad habit, he likes to go travel without telling anyone at home. My father going to travel, i knew it from my aunt. Funny rite? and if my aunt not telling us, so i suppose my dad missing somewhere else is it? He only said he will be back on which day but dun even tell u where he go. And the most recent one, he just came back from thailand not long ago. Now he is going to China. Ok, then i ask my aunt when, she said 11 aug to 17 aug. That's GREAT MAN!! He dun even wan to stay for his daughter 21st birthday. What i wan is really not that much. Just whole family have a dinner together, then have a cake. Even after that he is going out as usual, i dun mind too. But now he dun even wan to stay. Yes, it's funny and kind of pathetic. The guy whose birthday exactly same as me, his father going to held a party for him. That's sound so sarcastic to me. I m totally give up all my hope on my dad. He is not my father i used to have. I only do whatever he likes. Din even care what will end up to me. (be my mum 出气筒)

And my mum, was very angry with my dad. First, just go travel anywhere he wants, and leave her work hard for him. Second, work so hard all money goes to my cousin pocket. And of course, what do u think i will end up? My mum din talk to me for two days. As if I persuade my dad to do so. Sometimes i wonder why she dislike me so much, is it i look like my dad? Whatever i complaint to her, especially about my sis, she pretend never hear anything. Even i complaint something else, she dun have any response too. I m so so so sad and disappointed. Well, did i do anything wrong? Why i always go back to my hometown? Cuz I wan to go home be the middle man, to prevent their fight, to prevent they divorce. But now all seems so so useless. And I highly suspect my dad kept a mistress. I peep at his msg although i know it's not good to do tat. I m TOTALLY DISAPPOINTED to the man in my house i call him DAD. If this is a truth, I will have no respect at all to him! He can't blame me for that, cuz it's him to turn me like this. He seriously dunno how many litres of tears I dropped just because of him!

I always envy those people who have a happy family. Why I couldn't have one? I m so so so stress especially these few months. Just over all these family matters.

And another thing hurt my heart, TVXQ probably gonna disband. Although I strongly believe they won't, but still, I'm scared. It's their music and videos occupied me so tat i dun need to think much about my family. It's them who brighten my days, so i can't imagine if they really disband, how sad i will be. I m sure i will cry in front of the monitor. Cuz it's like my BEST "accompany" gonna leave me. If not them occupied my times, i might already fell into depression. That's also the reason i love to collect CDs. Cuz during the most depressing period i experienced before, I depend to them, CDs. Just look at them i feel happy enough.

My heart is aching, non-stop. I can't control my tears. They keep falling down from my eyes. I dunno when are they going to stop. Probably this would be another depressing period. Birthday, I used to look forward to, but this year, I m gonna be even more sad than any other day. 21st birthday, where is my father? Does he remember that? Or he dun even know, i m 21st this year and when is my birthday? That's the more persuasive answer. And i m this guy's daughter... unfortunately.

I wonder how my father would react if he happen to see this post. It's the same thought. I wonder what if one day i die in an accident, how would he feel or react? Dun worry ppl, I m not gg to die. It's just tat something i wish to know.

Thanks dewy for always by my side comfort me! Thanks to my sisters too! I know u guys always by my side too. If weren't you guys, I might not be that strong. But i'm really sorry, i can't control my heart to ache. I might be depress recently just bear with me ok. Trust me it's not easy to be optimistic.

I want this!!!!

2009-07-09T11:21:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry that this is a bit too random!! But seriously!! I love this little creature!!!! SO cute!! I just happen to see it in one of the Han Hyo Joo's interview. She was holding this little creature!! So cuteeeeeeeeeeeeee!! I love it man!!

After some research, that little rabbit is from a korean brand called cottiny - selling all girl's accessories. All of them are so cute k!!! Argh!! I want the hair band!! It's damn cute ok!!!

Dang dang!! Cute rite!!! I want this man!! Anyone who knows korean can help me buy?!! Omg!! I love this little creature!! Argh!! I wan to sew one for myself!! Even just a little doll!! hahah!! Dun Care!!! I want to draw it into my book also!! So cute~~ :)

www.cottiny.com/shopping Feel free to go and surf this website!! I love the website design!! So cute and nice!! I like the style too!! Go and check out their earrings and so on!! Oh pls~ Can someone import them in?!!

Another sad thing to share. Yesterday while I was searching TVXQ's new pic, I saw one of their collectible from their premium showcase 2009. It's a miniature CD album key holder! OMG!! SO NICE OK!! I wan to own one la!! I love miniature stuff!! And this one is my favourite CD album man!! I told myself! Yes! I must buy it!! But too bad, after i ordered in star-tot, one hour later they told me it's out of stock!! I feel so so so so sad ok!! Omg!! Can someone make for me or tell me where to buy it!! I wan it so badly man!! :(

Ok! Random enough! Haha! Well, recently seems like ppl around me loves kpop a lot man!! I got shocked when i passed by my "cave" cousin room that day, i hear shinee love like oxygen!! Then I heard she played sorry sorry too!! Omg!! I couldn't imagine man! Sometimes in bus also heard some other ppl talking about kpop, watching kpop video and so on. Wah!! See! that's how successful kpop is!! That's also why i love it so much that can't leave without them!! haha! Kpop rocks man!! Well, of cuz my TVXQ or THSK rocks too! Check out their newest single - Stand by you! I'm going to buy this single k!! I love this song a lot a lot!! It's really nice!!! Go youtube to search for their live performance!! It's great and worth to hear!!

Okok!! Finish what I wan to say!! I wish all the above items can buy some where!! But I think the chance is kind of low la! Especially my TVXQ Miniature CD! NVM!! One day i'm gonna make a miniature cd album book!! hahahah!!! YES!! ok!! Should go to sleep!! OK! End with my charming chang min photo!!! Dun faint out ya!! Hahahaaha!!

I must blog this!!!

2009-07-01T02:54:00.000-07:00

Haha! The title sounds a bit exaggerating, but seriously i need to tell u guys this! Haha!

Today, as usual, sleep till noon time, my mum fetch me to the new office after lunch to help out. Not much things to do though. So I decided to go supermarket nearby to buy a packet of oats since our home one finished already. My mum gave me a RM50 note, so i kept in my pocket. I'm not gg to carry my bag since it's just within walking distance. (I dun mind walk there cuz the office is damn cold already!! Need to go out for a walk!!) So, I bring my favourite i-pod with me and my phone. I brought another RM10 to buy magazines. I put my RM10 note in my pocket as well.. Then as I walk, I was playing with my i-pod, suddenly realize my RM50 note GONE!!!! Shit!!! Surely drop out when i pull out my i-pod. So I immediate turn back to find. Before I realize that, there were two gals (I think around 15 or 16 years old, Still studying sec school one la!) passed by me. So I quickly turn back and find whether i accidentally drop somewhere! I was very nervous k!! RM 50 le!! Not RM5 man!! Then as i turn back i saw one of the gal quickly picked something from the floor and run with her fren. So i immediate chase after her la, but she din realize, then that two girls even hold hands and scream at the corridor and continue running. I then manage to call one of them and said : Xiao mei, the RM50 note u picked just is mine! She looked damn scared ok!! haha! and said: oh it's yours ar, then pass me the money from her pocket. The note already crumpled like what man! Then I go off and saw her run off too cuz the other one already go off. I was like phew man! Thank god she is willing to give me back la!! If not ar my mum will kill me and i will heartache till i died man!! Always so blur!!!

Then after I bought my oats, on my way back to the office, I saw tat two girls again, with a group of fren. They passed by the place where i drop my money and point there, i think she was telling her frens about it. then I was thinking whether i wan to siam. But I din do anything wrong mah! So I just walk passed them. The first gal can recognize me(the one who run off first) and tell her bf i think, they both stared at me, then a few gals including the one who return me money also stared at me, I feel like she wants to talk to me or what but sorry huh! I was with my i-pod, can't hear anything, I just pretend like i dun recognize them and go man. If not ar, die man! Maybe i need to hand up my money to them lo!! In the end i din used that Rm50 and return to my mum! Too dangerous outside!! hahaha!

I was so disappointed with the gal gal and boy boy nowadays man. Seriously! Just take two of them as example, wah! Pick up money and run, scream!!!! Wasei!! Baliak man!! actually honestly if i saw RM50 note I might not pick up man, even i pick up i will stand there and wait for the owner to come or give it to the beggar nearby. Cuz first this might be the money that someone need it urgently. Second, it's very bad to take other ppl's money, I would feel like i owe the owner without knowing who is he or she. If i take the money I would die of guilty!!! Omg!! Somemore dunno whether it is a xian jing that ppl apply black magic on the note once u pick it up u kena!! Last time I saw a RM10 note on the corridor and i just tell my mum and din pick up, I plan to just go.. But, u know my mum la, money le! Then she said pick up la, then i was like: har? dun wan la! Then she said go pick up!!! So no choice have to take, if i m alone i sure pick up and give the beggar or pretend nvr see!! I'm very scared of this one le!! then my mum said if u dare not keep use it la! So i just follow her order and buy fruits and the changes I gave to my mum!! I dun wan to die of guilty! But I did eat the fruits and shout a big thank you to the owner of RM10 note! Haha!

But compared to the RM10, my RM50 is really a big money k!!! If they two dun return me i can die!! cuz i never take down the number, the only way to prove is to drag them to my mum's office and ask my mum! Thank god no need to do that man!! If not i will kena scold like what!!

And this is also why i said i must blog this!!! Cuz i can't tell anyone here!!! I sure get scold!! haha! And frens! Remember to be honest!! At least the first thing i wan my children to learn, to be honest when u saw money on the floor!!! HAHAHA!!

哭

2009-06-14T10:33:00.000-07:00

有时想想，为什么自己这么没用，遇到什么不如意的事就只会哭。
眼泪好像是上天的一个神奇发明，每次哭完后，难过好像会少那么一点点。
但是我很不喜欢，哭着时心里揪着，有种心痛的感觉。
我的名字虽然应该是象征着开心，但是不知道为什么，我很喜欢哭，也很会哭。也许就好像我朋友说的，名字通常是相反的，叫美丽的人不一定美丽，叫开心的人不一定就会开心。
悲观，我想我一直都是。因为我觉得每件事都做好最坏的打算，如果结果是好的，我会觉得很开心; 结果不好的，至少我也已经做好准备去接受。

现在的我，好像站在一个十字路口的中央，四周围围绕着很多很多的车。我不知道我要去那里，也不知道应该选哪条路，只希望能有双带我飞离所有烦恼的翅膀，飞到一个无忧无虑的空间。
我知道，我在逃避选择。我真得很讨厌做选择。尤其是眼前的这个。我知道总有一天我会找到属于我的一片天，但是那天什么时候才来？我讨厌选择，我讨厌没有一个确定的方向。“究竟我该怎么办？”这句话已经不知道在我脑海里跑了几遍。我很气自己为什么不清楚自己要的是什么，为什么就不能做一个决定，只会逃避。有时想要跳开一下，拼了命地去运动，但是当我又想到这个问题时，头就好像快要裂开来了。想着想着，不知不觉，眼泪也就跟着滑下来了。

今天本来不想写这么不愉快的东西，但是我烦恼的根源之一来到我家了。真的很奇怪，不管我有多气，但是看到眼前的奶奶，就是狠不起来。一来怕爸爸不高兴，二来她始终是我奶奶。我真的是个很矛盾的人。骂不出来，又只能生闷气，气到委屈，又莫名奇妙地开始哭。真想一巴掌打醒自己。

算了，牢骚发完了。你们当我under maintainence. 不要理我就好。

但是还是要祝我的爸爸，生日快乐，父亲节快乐！你在我心目中是最棒的爸爸，愿所有的烦恼，不愉快统统离你而去。I love u my daddy~ :)

Unfair...

2009-06-03T09:40:00.000-07:00

为什么这个世界这么的不公平？I always tot that it's just a common speech in drama. But now i know i m wrong! There are so many unfair things in this world.

Well, i think it's really a good time to blog now! I feel so lost now! I hate things being so unsure! I m not sure what i m gg to do next. I m not sure what m i going to study. I m not sure whether I GOT THE CHANCE to continue study. I m not sure whether i m suitable to be a remisier. i m not sure whether i m suitable to be a designer. Everythings seems to be so unsure for me. Can someone give me a answer pls? I guess no one will. Only I know what i want! But the biggest problem now is : I REALLY DUNNO WHAT I WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got no dream. i dun mind get a remisier license. I dun mind work as designer. But I duno whether i will LIKE to be remisier. I dunno if i wan to be a designer. After three years in TP, I've seen so many good works and realise that I seriously not really talented in this field. Well, business? I'm not sure will do better? What i really hope is not to disappoint my father. He is desperate for remisier to take over his clientsss one day. And this day might come sooner thanks to my BLOODY SICKENING COUSIN SIMON TAY! If u happen to see him pls give him a big kick on his ass!!!!!!

I had mentioned before about that shitty cousin. Yes! My father still paying debt for him! No choice! cuz he dun wan to break his promise to that client. Well, becuz of him, I might not be able to study abroad. I can see my father really dun wish to send me over. He asked me to take the remisier course and get a license. Then u dun need to study degree. dun u think this is so unfair. If all these never happen, my cousin can take over my father's clients(although i dun wan to, but at least when i m sick of design i can snatch back!) I can used up these few years to learn more things, explore more things, then i might know what i really want! Now i m too young to know what i wan for my future!!! If all these never happen, I can go study abroad without worries. I dun need to worry about the money. But since my dad say so, i think he really can't afford. Even he can afford but would be quite hard for him.

He is 61 years old this coming 14th of June. if all these never happen he can retire now. He can go travel to anywhere he want. And last week, I heard my ah mah called him keep on asking him to help that piece of bullshit! Sometimes i really dunno why i will respect a grandmother like her man!!! Why she can't see us!!!! She keep thinking of her grandson! Did she even think of us? If she step in my house and sigh to me! that's it! I'm going to cry and tell her! It's enough! Now Igot no money to continue study! are u satisfied with this?!!!!!!! I can't take it anymore!

If my dad can wait for a few years more, i dun mind to come back and work as remisier. But can i at least get a chance to fly out and explore the world? but I dunno if i can cope if i study abroad. i just dun really feel like stuck in Klg from now till the rest of my life.

Now only i know the world can be that unfair. My father help to send that piece of shit to US study his master or degree. Come back still a piece of shit, need to help him pay his debt.

原来好人不一定有好报。但我相信坚持当好人至少下场不会差到哪里去。我终于发现现实的残酷。但我不会因为这样而变得坏心肠。也绝对不可能会大量到去包容那家人。我只想好好的跟爸爸说：你辛苦了。儿时的承诺，我还是希望能够向您兑现。也许我做不到让你大福大贵的享福，但我仍然希望成为能让你感到骄傲的女儿。但是我该怎么做才好呢...

Can someone tell me what to do? I'm lost. How I wish I could turn back the time...

Graduated!!!

2009-05-21T20:14:00.000-07:00

Yes! I was officially graduated from TP yesterday! Hmm.. Very hard to describe, kind of complicated feeling. Happy? Hmm.. Probably yes cuz I had gone thru a lot of hard works and sleepless night to get my diploma! haha! and happy that I did not disappoint my family. Sad? I think probably sad is more than happy. I can't bear to leave my course mates! I'm going to miss them a lot!

Well, although I have experienced three times graduation (as in kindergarden, primary school and secondary school), I understand that no matter how good we are, we still need to seperate one day. Just that I dun wan to face that the DAY was yesterday. 21st of May 2009 here end my poly life. Well, in my 21 years of life(of cuz i live longer, just for now la! haha!) I think this 3 years were the most wonderful and enjoyable period that i ever had! Well, I know i might get shoot but i dun really like Singapore actually. Haha! (so brave! haha!) But I can't deny the fact that I met 4 besties/soulmates/family members here, and a lot of very good friends here!!!! Thanks to all of them, without all of u guys, my poly life won't be that interesting! I love hanging around with u guys! I enjoyed those days we squeeze together in des canteen eating tasty chicken chop, nice malay food, uncle's teh peng and ice milo. I missed those day we kacao in uncle Wilson's print shop, see how he act gay, play in the darkroom and com lab, help out in the super chaotic print shop, celebrating everyone birthday together, go to the library flipping books and so on. Really so so memorable. Throughout these three years, I received countless little present and encouraging letter from my besties and super sweet birthday present and surprise from Wendy, yiling and dudu! I missed those days playing hand's wave with genie - Regina! haha! So memorable right genie! haha!

I really can't bear to leave all of them. As for my besties, I really had tons of memorable moments with them. Thanks for their sacrifices for my first birthday surprise in TP! I still remember that moment i saw that video. I almost tear ok! just that i control myself! haha! Countless outing, gathering, cycling days, Ikea gathering, birthday celebration and so on. We had gone thru a lot with each other. I really cherish our relationship a lot, as important as my family member! I still remember those days we sang in the com lab, watching video together, cried when we were depress and so on. I'm glad that someone would call me and tell me she is miserable and dunno what to do. Of cuz I dun wan my fren to cry but at least when they are depress they think of me! Well, in the future u can still call me up whenever u feel depress or having some problem. Walking atm is still here! hahah! I dun mind to be ur listener!

Although I had a lot of hard time in TP, but I enjoyed a lot! I will never regret to study here, if not i might not meet all my besties here, all my good frens here and enjoyed all the good times with them. Well, people! We made it! We already graduated from TP. No matter what is ur future planning, all the best to whatever u do! Remember i will always be here for u guys! We need to gather more even after we graduate ok! Thanks for being such a wonderful frens in my life and tolerate with all my mistakes and bad temper. U guys will always on my mind! :)

Cheers for graduation and all the best! :)

Love ya,
Khai Xin a.k.a Hee-haw a.k.a Hawy a.k.a Xiao xin a.k.a Khai Khai....... (a lot more! haha!)

Here's the photo! We finally graduated! :) Cheer for our frenship! :)

Probably another rubbish post?

2009-05-13T08:10:00.000-07:00

Haha! The title was my exact thinking before i start writing this post! haha! Well, just browse through lexy, sin yee and cloudy's blog! Why nady dun have one man! TSK! haha! So i feel like i need to update something since so long time we haven't meet up! Haha!

Well, these few weeks I was staying in Malaysia. Of cuz i'm still in M'sia now. But how to describe, the lifestyle here is really kind of relax compared to Singapore. Haha! I love driving around but I hate working for my cousin's wife. Omg! can u believe that a diploma holder only get RM 3.85 per hour and still need to work like a dog! OMG! Really so irritating! actually I was planning to rest few weeks at home and maybe go back to Pagesetters and see whether they need designer. But then few weeks ago, my cousin was talking to me in his place in my mum office. I was standing somewhere else, not facing him. He asked me to go and help his wife. I pretend nvr hear it. But too bad, the next morning, she called. I was like SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! I was forced to wake up! (really hate ppl call me during my sleep man! Especially ppl I dun like! tsk! haha!) Then my she said she desperately need designer, cuz she just sacked the malay designer and only left one designer. She said she can't tahan that designer anymore. And her previous worker who agreed to come back din turn up. So, sigh~ She already talked like that I can't even say no rite? Sigh~ So, I went to help. But she din mentioned about the pay at all! So, I also dun really bother la. I dun really follow time. Haha! Late to work, lunch time 1.5 hour! haha! really ultimate. but I really duno she count by hour! WALAO WEI! Two years ago she gave me RM20 per day ok! So, april I think i work for two weeks more, I get RM 288.56! And she din pay me that RM0.56! Omg! I'm gg to faint! Well, I dun really feel like helping her cuz of my stupid cousin k! really wan to bodyslam that whole family! All so yong sui! Working there everything is urgent and unorganized. Somemore irritating client keep pestering u as if i only do her work! TSK! I must say I enjoy the life there but working there really sucks! But the colleagues there all very nice la. Just that the pay sucks, never ending job order and irritating client. My cousin wife is good to me as in attitude but seriously can't believe she give me this type of pay and like hinting why two of us working so slow! OMG! Really!

The jie jie sitting beside me is just the same age with my brother. 30 years old, but totally like 24 only! I got shocked when she said she wan to fetch her son! haha! She is really a good example to learn for actually. She never study design before, she learned all those software in the previous company. All her stuff looks professional, and she is really a good-tempered and meticulous person. How i wish i can be like her, good-tempered.

Well, i haven't tell my cousin's wife I wanna resign but i already declare to all my colleagues: Sorry, close order! haha! Since she found a malay girl designer and I heard that 1st of june another one is coming, so i can go. i'm just there to help out!

Convocation is coming. Next week. I dunno what to wear and got nothing really formal to wear too. Well, that's not so important. Just that suddenly feel kind of depress. Once the convocation is over, we might not see each other that often. I keep asking myself, will we still the same? As in the relationship between five of us. I'm scared. As u guys have heard thousands times U guys are so important to me. I'm really so glad to find four soul mates in my life. Well, I dun really believe in FOREVER. I really dun believe it. I dun think those ppl who saying FOREVER this word can really do what they said. Like the fans to their Idols. I dun say I love TVXQ Forever but i would say i appreciate them even one day they disband(CHOY CHOY CHOY!) I would remember them as one of my favourite band. But guys, if i happen to write frens forever in ur card or letter or whatever, I mean it and I tell myself I MUST really do it till the day I die. Think that magic word only apply to four of u! haha! We are more like family member more than frens i think. I dun wan us to be like stranger. I duno what to do but I will try hard to gather all of us every month! I do missed those days in TP, everything! So memorable. Omg, i think i would cry after the convocation man! Shit! haha!

Well, I might continue study next year. The july semester my brother said a lot of course not available, also a bit too rush to study on july. So might start next year. This period of time, it's good to improve my broken english, learn more stuff and tidy up my portfolio. Ok, damn tired now. I hate working! tsk! I m gonna quit soon! See u guys next week and hug together cry ok! hahah! :)

Can't breath...

2009-04-19T09:44:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry guys! Now only i update my blog. I think this is the very right timing to write. I m very depress now. Probably after this post, I would feel better.

Recently, after came back from yogyakarta, (Tell u guys about my trip in my next post with pic! hahah! but have to wait ok! Haha!) I m scared. Really scared. My dad went to china the week after i went holidays. So whole week stay in Malaysia accompany my mum.

The sentence i hate the most now is ppl asking me "what are you going to do after graduate?" Seriously, Hate it! I'm lost! I dunno what should I study. I'm now in a corner, with all my family and frens around me, asking me the same question, especially my sis! She keep forcing me to choose now! Yes! I know that's for my own good, but really, I'm lost. I feel like I'm going mad, whenever she asked me, i just keep quiet. Even I ask my dad, he was like either no answer, or dunno what is he talking about then walk back to his room. I m really damn stress now. I see myself holding my head sitting at a dark corner. I can't find an exit to run away, with all of them behind me forcing me to go out. I m lost. I dunno what to do and what should i do. it's a kind of burden to click in those website to search for sch.

I'm so regret now. I should be more hardworking. now my result is like a piece of shit. I really wonder m i suitable to study design? I got no talent at all. I should be more hardworking. Now this kind of result, who the hell will accept me? With probably the most scary portfolio, i dun think there's any school wan to accept me. Where to go? Australia? I wanted too. I dun like to study in either NTU or NUS. It's just another round of discrimination. Even I want I dun think I can get in too. i really can't breath. I hate that kind of stress.

I was sitting at my living room just now, cried with the sad music. I just need to release all out. I can't do it in front of anyone in my family. I know they are more worried! But I really dunno what to do but cry out. I'm such a useless bum! Always made ppl worry for me. Even my health. Really, the first time i feel so helpless. I'm drowning, and i can't see any helps in front of me. What should I do? I dun wan to disappoint my family. I wonder if I m suitable to study oversea with my lousy english.

Ok enough! Should stop it! I feel much better after throwing all my "rubbish" here. Just ignore ok! :)

Well, these few days I was watching korean drama at home. Beethoven virus and on air. Beethoven virus is a story about a orchestra team. How they fight for their dream. It's nice becuz the actor jang geun suk is handsome! haha! I m envy because they have a dream, which i dun have. And really envy them can fight for their dream. But the love story in that drama sucks! Really kns the female main role! Such a young handsome guy dun wan, in the end fell in love with the old uncle! Walao wei! Not nice! Tsk! Haha!

On air, to me, it's nice. Long ago i wanted to watch it. The story is about how the entertaiment industry working in Korea. An arrogant top star, a very famous storywriter, a new but good director and a caring star manager. the love story between them are nice especially the director and the storywriter. Haha! they are so cute! I love the OST too. The one sided love by Park Yong Ha which act as the director and If.. by Naby(Too bad not nady! haha).. Really very sad song. Shit man! Always like these kind of songs.. Sigh.. But that's why i love Kpop too, their touching music. If u feel too bored can take a look at this drama too. To me is interesting cuz after this drama only I know, to produce a drama really needs a lot of effort. Everyone put in a lot of effort just for the drama. And now i think it is so unfair for the audience to say not nice when they dun even see how hard they work. Even to me the story is not nice, but now i learn to respect every of them. They are always in a hard time!

Wah such a long post. Ok, well, just an update. i m currently working in my cousin wife's print house. Doing boring design job. Although i dun really feel like working there, but too bad la, she only left one designer there, and very hard to find graphic designer in my hometown. So I just go and help her. Sigh.. But wednesday I will go singapore for the swimming class! haha! Hope can meet u guys la. Ok, after this post I should feel better. All my tears, go back to ur house and have a long sleep k! goodnight! all of u! :)

Kkotboda Namja!!!!

2009-03-27T01:05:00.000-07:00

Yes! Recently I'm addicted to this Korean Drama - 花样男子! OMG! I got another new bf now! hahaha! Although Chang Min, Xiah, and Min Ho still my bf! (Aiya! Dewy got so many! I can't have four meh?!) Yes! My new bf is... KIM HYUN JOONG! Hahahah! OMG! He is really very charming k! My yun ji hoo!!! Before watching this show, I knew that he is Jae joong and Micky's Best fren! He is also SS501 Leader. Not bad la that band.

Well, his personality really like Jae Joong! No wonder they are best fren now! I tot he is that kind very cool type, sekali like jae joong! Very funny. I m watching 我们结婚了now! Hahaha! He is damn funny and Huang Bo really very pretty! Heehee! Love their couple match! Haha!

Seriously I need to recommand u guys to watch Kkotboda namja! Really very nice to watch! although my Yun Ji Hoo very poor thing, but besides that this show is worth to watch. I like their background, then those costume the actors or actress wear. Next week Korea going to show the last two epidsode. Although I know Ji hoo can't win Jan di's heart, but really very sad that those ppl he likes all not by his side. Awww.. So poor thing. But I should say, hyun joong first time to be actor very successful. He really suits yun ji hoo very well which sometimes makes me think yun ji hoo = Kim Hyun Joong! hahaha! Aww~ going to finish soon! Sigh~ Really hope to watch more man! Haha!

Okok! Back to something related to me! haha! Diploma show finally started yesterday! But seriously i think this year dip show sucks man! Really dunno what to do! Then all so not organise! Even the guest also dunno what to do! I really prefer to have personal panel so that ppl can view ur work better what! Sigh~ Dunno what are they have in their mind man!

Dip show coming which means I'm going to graduate soon. Sigh~ I really dunno what should I do for my further study! Continue study Design or something else? What to study? Where to study? Really have to no idea!! I'm lost! and recently family matters also drive me crazy! I really can't stand that stupid idiot cousin man! walao wei! My father's hard earning money all dump in to pay his stupid debt! OMG! And pls my ah mah! Can u stop complaning how pathetic ur grandson is! Can't u see my father is more pathetic man!!!! Seriously I really need to bodyslam my cousin! Walao wei! IT'S UR DEBT K! WHY SHOULD MY FATHER BEAR THIS FOR U?! Sigh~ My poor father.. Sigh~

Well, dunno what else to say. Really, this matter spoilt all my mood! Ok! Should post something happier! Ok! Enjoy the photos~

Update la!

2009-03-20T09:09:00.000-07:00

Ok ok! Since my two little fans keep shouting at the chatter box, Hehe! I'm here to update my blog! But Chan Sin Yee! U also nvr update hor! Haha! Lexy why still jonghyun husband on top?! See u also nvr update! Micky is going to jump down from han jiang k!

Ok! Well, actually dun need to update! haha! Cuz I almost see all my readers everyday man! All my mei liang xin's Malaysia frens, aisk~ Too disappointed man! Tsk tsk tsk!

Well, let's start my long story of eating salah medicine first! haha! I know u guys know what happen la! Just bear with it k! Igot not much things to update mah! Hahah!

Ok, last two weeks, finally everything over! I was free to go for another consultation - the neurosurgeon that I mentioned before - brain scan. It was tuesday! few days before I just experienced terrible skin allergy and got injection on monday! Ouch! Tuesday morning, me, my mummy, my godmother and the little boy - Li Ge set off early like 7.30am to Melaka Pantai hospital! Seriously i dunno how many times I go to hospital for check up man! tsk! we reached there earlier than our appointment time, and wait for almost one and half hour for the doctor. Omg! really wait too long! tsk! Then finally my turn! I went in with all my X-rays, MRI, CT Scan "photo" of my beautiful back spine. Of course, I need to tell my long long story about my back lo! then he did some check up like lift up hands, legs, then close my eyes while standing (think he is checking my balancing) He said everything normal. But the problem I mentioned before - My back brain (Well, I return back all my biology liao! dunno what does it called)'s position really lower than normal ppl but that is born to be like that. And he said looks like this is not the cause of my severe backpain! So he suggested me to go and consult a neurologist which is just few room away. (still wan to write letter! haha!) then inside that clinic DAMN alot of ppl! Omg! then i m the last patient. while waiting to go in and check, I went to consult another doctor which is skin specialist. She is a very soft, gentle kind ladies. She is Chinese. She gave me two bottle of cream to get rid all dark spot on my arms and they are so effective! I can feel it! Much different than before! then I went back ad wait for consultation. the neurologist is a soft malay uncle! Forgot to mention, the first doctor is a Indian man! See, i consulted three different races doctors! haha!

Then when I went into the room, the doctor did some similiar check up and of course need to repeat my story! Seriously I'm considering to record my story down man! then he said need to scan my brain. I'm the last patient so have to wait for few hours, so we went down to the canteen and ate our lunch there. Then about 4.30pm finally my turn! The nurse "paste" i think about 20 wyers on my head and ask my to close my eyes relax on the bed. After 15 minutes, she asked me to call my mum in. After tat scan my hair damn disgusting, because of the gel she apply on to stick the wyers! then the doctor came and said oh, it's brain cells problem. Some brain cells are inactive. Then I have to take three months medicine to recover. He kept saying "slowly u will recover" like how adult bluff kids! I was like Err.. Ok..

then I followed the intruction, took for those medicine for two weeks. I'm so sorry to chan chan and Lexy! cuz I keep sleeping during our Dong Bang trip! I really can't than man! too sleepy after taking medicine! then! Here's the bigger problem! After two weeks, while I was at Chan chan hometown, I realised that my hands and legs keep shivering! Lexy and chan chan also noticed tat! Then I went back and tell my mum cuz I suspect is the side effect of certain medicine. That day my legs were numb till I can't walk properly! my mum was shocked like what! Keep saying I looked like old lady now, do whatever in slow motion! Omg! I was really panic man! So monday went to consult my family doctor! I found the TRUTH! Thanks ar, the neurologist! HE CAN'T FIND THE REASON CAUSE MY BACK PAIN, HE TOT I GOT PSYCHOLOGY PROBLEM! SO HE GAVE ME THOSE MEDICINE USUALLY FOR PSYCHOLOGY PATIENT! OMG! WTH! which means i have been taking wrong medicine for two weeks! SHIT SHIT SHIT! I keep shivering even till now k! Now i need to buy medicine to stop the shivering! And of course! I need to consult another doctor!

I dunno what happen to me man! always so "LUCKY"! Kena cheated my two doctors! TSK! And my toufu body can be more healthy or not! Now financial crisis can! Stop it lar! Walao wei! When r u going to recover my lovely back spine?!! And these few days,so busy preparing for the dip show i dunno how many times i kena my mum scold, cuz i'm not supposed to anyhow walk, my family doctor suggest me to rest more and walk less and scared I will faint halfway! I'm so dizzy for the whole week man! SIGH~~~~ Hope can recover soon la!

Hereby i need to thank lexy! Thanks honey dewy for take care of me and accompany me for this whole week! i knew u r tired! so sorry! Next week my sis (ur gan jie) treat k! We shall have a gathering all together! cuz my sis till now still haven't see who is NADIA KAMIL AND LIM SIEW YUN!!! hahaha! And lexy, dun bother what that sai said! I borrow u money cuz I can afford to help and i understand u do need help! So dun be paiseh to borrow if u really need k! if i can't help i will tell u! So atm Hee-haw is standing here for FOUR of you! and all my money are belongs to my banker! hahaha! So ok la! I can borrow u guys means I got extra for myself! So dun need to feel guilty cuz u guys still need to return me back what! hahaha! So dun worry k!

Ok, feel dizzy again! time to take the CORRECT medicine and sleep! Everyone jia you k! after next week's Dip show we can finally rest! Let's go cycling again~ :)

Finally it's over!

2009-02-24T02:38:00.000-08:00

Yeah yeah!! it's over! now still left the presentation part which I dun really care! Hahah! Just think of go in and anyhow crap! hahah!

Oh ya! forgot! My apologize! Really long time never update already! but seriously I was busy like hell for the past few weeks! But thank god it's over! I manage to done all my stuff on time but with the bad quality of cuz! hahah!

Well, these few days were really relaxing~ Although after I done my stuff I dun really feel happy but I feel relief. Unhappy perhaps due to my lousy works. I know I will kena shoot like dunno how. But I dun really care now, as long as I pass! hahah!

Just like what I read le xin blog, yes! i'm gonna thanks all of those ppl who assisted me to do this mission impossible! I promised her we must put this into our future album. Hahah!

To my dear honey dewy - Le Xin! Thanks so much for teaching me to draw different perspectives! And sometimes even draw for me although u already struggling for ur project! Really thanks so much! I will remember those days we do our works in McDonalds, spying what ppl talking about, eating our favourite McDonalds' Breakfast, drawing like mad, sharing ur disgusting dreams, sit from breakfast to lunch and so on! Really so memorable! And till the final stage, we stayed in the com lab with chan chan and nady, singing and dancing like mad, form a shinee girls, singing shinee's song and TVXQ's Mirotic, take cab together~ Really, it will be the most memorable memory. I'm sorry if i did something that make u angry, and also thanks for tolerate my bad temper! :)

To my dear chan chan - Sin Yee! Thanks so much for all ur help. All ur encourage words and email really helped me to move forward! Thanks for always organize outing like morning Ponyo's movie! Oh man! that was my first time watching movie so early! hahah! But it was nice! I will remember those days we went to ur house, go shopping together, go printing and help each other and also everything happened in the com lab! Really that last few weeks I was stress but really enjoyed! Thanks for accompany me to be mad girl and sing and dance in com lab! Thanks for almost everyday gather shinee girls in MSN or Skype, practise singing, sharing videos! If that few nights without those video, I really fell asleep liao! Hahah! Then, so sorry if my bad temper affects u! I can't tolerate my own bad temper too! hahah! And thanks for all ur help during this FYP! I'm sorry if my mounting skill spoilt ur things! :p

To my darling cloudy - Siew Yun! Although we were in the same class, but really looks like i dun see u that often! hahah! Well, u r really the hardworking girl who always make me so stress, but this kind of stress actually help to move forward! thanks! Thanks my dear for always tolerate my bad temper and comfort me when I think i'm way behind the final line. Thanks for ur encouraging SMS and email! Although we dun see each other that often during that period but I know u were really stress! Well, just wan to tell u, next time if u work outside, dun have to give urself too much stress ok! U must know how to destress! I still remember that day u cried in front of me! really shock me man! but i know what i can do is not stopping u from crying, cuz i know u are release all ur stress! do hang out more with all of us! u see! Shinee girls dun even feel stress! everyday happy like what! hahah! Thanks so much for all ur encouragement! Although U might deny, but I tell u seriously ur work is nice! dun always claim that it's not! U must be confident to ur own work ok! :)

To my dear master - Nadia! Thanks nady for ur very first treat to me, the pillow snack! It really tastes good! Well, dun feel bad to borrow money from me! I know U are broke for those printing and binding, I understand that's y I m happy to help! All those snacks I treated u were the ENCOURAGEMENT to u! Cuz I know, nothing else can give u energy except FOOD! Hahahah! That's y I buy food for u! During those days U were in India, we really missed u and worried for u! But it was so memorable that everyday log on to ur blog and see whether u update anything. Then also about ur love story there la! hahah! Thanks for always tolerate my bad temper and also tolerate SHINee girls awful singing and dancing in that room! We dun mean to irritate u, just wan to relax, that's our way to destress! hahah! But I should say, ur work really superb! I'm so glad to be ur pet man! With u in our gang we really feel so proud! We have talented photographer, talented illustrators (Lexin and Siewyun), and talented ENTERTAINERS (Chan Chan And Me la! hahah!) Oh ya, still got talented maid wai sun! hahah! I'm very happy to be in this group! :)

Well, Mr Chan Wai Sun, sorry ar, no dear hor! hahah! But I should really thank u for tolerate my bad temper, always pei he all our funny ideas, and also willing to be our maid! hahah! thanks so much la~ :)

Then, I should thanks to my cousin's wife who is called Evelyn too! hahah! Thanks for her help, without her help I can't print my book out! and also AZMIR! Although u can't see! But Thanks so much for helping me adjust the alignment one by one! Really thanks a lot! :)

Then, thanks to the aunties in the print shop, Fanny jie jie and Sharon Aunty! Although the other one doesn't help much and sometimes spoilt my things, but nvm, still thanks to her! Really thanks for their help if not i think I really can die man! Their bloody boss should really give them OT fee la! tsk!

Also, need to thank Sandy, the classic binder boss! hahah! Thanks for her patient and also her professional help! Next time if I go I will bring u coke! :)

And not to forget, Thanks to my family, my jie jie, mummy, 6th aunt for sewing the pouch for me, my jiu mu for sewing the table cloth and bag for me and my wan neng daddy for doing the box and measure for the bag! Thanks to my jie jie for sewing the five stones and tolerate all my bad temper! Really thanks a lot! :)

OK! Damn long! But I forgot to tell u guys who is Shinee Girls! Hahah! Shinee girls was form like few weeks ago by me, le xin and Sin yee! Cloudy still waiting for audition, but i guess she can totally join us la! Hahah! We sang more korean songs la! Hahah! Oh ya! ah chan and lexy thanks for so ren zhen learning korean songs! Now seems like everyone is obsessed with Kpop, Shinee and TVXQ! Hahah! See! Now U guys should know why I like hor?! hahah!

OK! I NEED TO DECLARE HERE! AHERM! CHAN SIN YEE AND WONG LE XIN! LONG TIME AGO I'M TVXQ'S FANS! LEXY U SAID U LIKE U-KNOW SINCE 2005 DOESN'T COUNT CUZ U DIN BUY THEIR ALBUM! HAHA! I WENT TO THEIR CONCERT AND BOUGHT ALMOST ALL THEIR ALBUM! I NEED TO DECLARE THIS, CHANG MIN IS MINE! XIAH IS MY SECONDARY SO CANNOT SNATCH WITH ME TOO! THEN I GUESS U GUYS WON'T SNATCH MIN HO FROM SHINEE WITH ME, NOT TO WORRY.

Just in case u watch the hua yang nan zi, I NEED TO DECLARE THE KIM HYUN JOONG WHO ACT AS YUN JI HU IS MINE TOO! Hahahah! Dun ever snatch with me! Hahaha! must declare first just in case! hahah! Omg! Hua Yang nan zi really nice to watch!

Ok, gotto go and watch my drama and later TVXQ session and also shinee session! hahah! So busy! :)

Very odd wonderful day!

2009-01-08T10:08:00.000-08:00

HAHAHAHA! You should be wondering why is it a very odd wonderful day! Ok! I dunno the reason too! Probably i'm getting more and more negative as I was before! Shit man! I dun wan to but I think when someone is growing older, u will start to think more, isn't it? Before that we were a pure and innocent kid, but as we grow out we experienced different problems and that cause us to think more and sometimes think too much! Hahaha..

OK!OK! Stop it! This should be a happy post! Well, Let's back to the topic! Today, I SUPPOSED to wake up at 9am and tell myself, do something to consult, but dunno kena curse or what, 9am woke up, but very tired then keep lying and sleeping till 11am! SHIT! SHIT! I was like gave up already! Ok, not consulting, and I totally too relax! Haha.. Then went to sch and have lunch with honey dewy! I found that "oh, today is TP open house ar? I think I won't realize that if i din step into the sch!" Hahah! Then i was waiting for honey dewy in a room, but then i met cloudy first. Then honey dewy came, we chat, ate our lunch and do our work. Then we shift to another room and continue the same activities! Nady only came for the DAIM chocolate then stay in library alone! (TSK! SO ANTI-SOCIAL!) Hahaha! Then I did two pages in the classroom which i think is a good progress already man! Better than nothing rite?! Hahaha! Think this way really feel better man! Hahah..

Then, me and lexy went to white sand for dinner as my aunt not cooking today! Then we chose Wan zai to have our dinner cuz those pic really too attractive! OMG! WE TOTALLY ENJOYED THE DINNER LIKE WHAT! That honey dewy dunno Hmmm~ Hmmm~ How many times! We two keep commentting how nice the food is during the dinner and finish everything! Seriously everything!!! OMG MAN! SUCH A ENJOYABLE DINNER! After that we walked out to take bus back, the breezy wind outside really make us feel so good! Then we walked to the bus waiting area happily discussing will u hold ur father's hand with finger cross! (Ok, that sounds gross to me, but we really saw an uncle, holding hands with a gal who looked like his daughter! Not kid ok! Is already teenager! walao!) Then without waiting too long like less than 2 minutes, the bus came! wah! Really damn lucky! I keep telling lexy, something wrong! can't be this lucky! What's the catch? OMG! really so scared! Then the whole journey only took us like 10 minutes! Wah! So early reach home? I was telling lexy would we step on dog shit when we alight? We can't be so lucky! What's the catch? Hahahahah!

Then when i reach home, my aunt got some left over CHEESECAKES from another aunt! WALAO WEI! WAHT HAPPEN TODAY MAN! hahahaha! Can't believe i'm so lucky! and totally so happy! And till 12am, nothing bad happen to me! Whoa!!! So good! Ok! this will be my wonderful day!

Yes, that might be small little things to u! Actually, what I wan to say, happy or not is we, ourselves to decide! To me, if today is a nice weather I will feel happy too! Cuz I'm a too negative thinker(although not in front of u guys la!) but then I told myself I should find something to make myself happy! We are human being so we can control whether we wan to laugh or cry! If I'm sad I will cry it out, keep it yourself is not healthy too! So, to me, to watch a nice singing or dancing performance, bought a new cd, went movie or shopping with my frens(well, as long as with my frens), or even a nice weather will make me happy! Of cuz music affect me the most la! So I choose to listen more upbeat songs which makes me feel happier!

FYP is really sickening man! Everyone is damn stress now! I'm stress too! Scared I can't finish, but I know, if i'm not in good mood i can't draw something good! So, the most important thing, find something that can make u happy before u face all those shitty stuff! Remember this ok!

_____________________________________________________

Ok, bad things now! Above is my odd wonderful day! Below is negative one! Hahah! Pls be informed!

Although is so bad to say this, but recently, I really getting more and more fed up with my bloody sis! I really can't tahan her anymore man! She is getting more and more annoying and irritating! OMG! Pls man, NTU! accept me or i will fly off to australia! I should live alone! Everytime she go home first or i stay in the room alone i feel damn happy la! I dunno what's wrong! Just that I find her very annoying! A lot of habits i can't tahan! And she just did it to me! Everyweek go home she will ask me to bring something back, saying that her bag very heavy and full! HER HEAD LA! If hers one is heavy, then I mine is what? Walao! U dunno I got back problem is it? Still everyday act nice in front of others! At home u rather watch TVXQ's concert like thousand times than help me to clean the house! I'm really sick of being a maid man! All her job is just act cute in front of my mum which i really feel like puke everytime! Last time she said she dislike my brother, but when he came back last time, keep fighting and act cute in front of him! Walao wei! totally buay tahan man! U know how old u r or not? Even my dad also get fed up ok! almost 27 years old still jumping here and there! Walao! I knew my father would say that! Hahaha! I think that's the reason why ppl said I looked older, cuz i really dun like to 撒娇in front of my parents! I just felt disgusted especially seeing somebody always do these! I told myself!! NONONONONONONO!!! Never ever do that man! OMG! Super long story! I confess she is nice as a sister but she can be damn irritating too!

Ok should stop it man! If i were to write about her, seriously, i need to write very long man! and I guess u guys won't believe it and thought that I just want to grab more attention! Pls! I tell u! NO! TOTALLY! I asked myself! I CAN LIVE ALONE! As i was ALWAYS alone during sec sch days! So well trained already, I already told myself, my job is only to be fillial to my parents and THAT's IT! Sometimes really thinking whether they understand me! They thought they know me, but pls! NO! Totally not! It's really tiring, that's what i can say. Perhaps I understand now why my dad suddenly react that way to my mum, probably like me and my sis, cannot take it too many things of her! Really family matter, sigh, one day when i'm free, I can write a damn long post about it man! sigh~

Sigh, no time to bother all that! CONCENTRATE ON FYP PLS!!!!! Ok! Should stop it! Find something to cheer u up ok!! Yes!! Music!! Yes!! My favourite! Ok! So happy can go home alone again tmr and enjoy music all the way! That's also why I like to go home! cuz can listen to them for few hours! Hahaha! Yeah!!!! OK! See ya in next post! Jia You everyone!!!

(Ps. Lexy, I know u will say ur "roomate" worse! Yes! I agree! She is ULTIMATE LEVEL! cannot compare! If compare to ur "roomate" my sis is not too good though, but at least much better than that lunatic roomate! Hahahahaha!) :p

Happy 2009 people~

2009-01-02T02:24:00.000-08:00

OMG! It's already 2009! I'm getting more and more panic about my project! I'm seriously so sorry to my tutor man! It's not like I dun wan to do, just that really dunno how! My drawing really sucks man! OK! Dun care already! I can do it! So everyone can do it also! Just remember our main purpose - PASS ONLY! Hahahaha!

It's already 2009, I can't believe that I'm going to be 21 years old! How i wish the time could turn back! How I wish I can be like a kid, just play and study! Normally we will think this way, but i know, always looking back is not a very good thing also! So, just look forward! I'm sure this will be a brand new start for us! We can't stop the time, so just tell myself! LIVE A HAPPY LIFE! Appreciate everything around us and do more charity work! That would be my purpose! I really dunno what should I study for my degree, now it's really not the right time to start working! Sigh~

Well, not much things to blabber, just to wish everyone around me have a wonderful 2009, forget every bad things happened before, stay healthy and happy! If we ourselves think we can make it! I'm sure we can! Jia you all my frens~ :)

Merry Christmas! :)

2008-12-24T08:43:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! :) Yes! Time really flies! Another 5 days to 2009! OMG! I really wish the time could slow down pls! It's like getting faster and faster! OMG! And my FYP~ SIGH~ Hopeless! OK! Let's talk about something happy and forget about the irritating FYP ok!

Today is christmas eve! Actually I really like christmas a lot! I like the atmosphere, and it's the season of thanking ppl around you for their help in that certain year and also sharing your happiness! It is a really beautiful day to me! I like to see everyone busy choosing present for each other, busy making cards and so on. I felt so warm! Everyone is caring each other and the feeling of wanting the people who receive your gift would love it!

This year, since it's our last year in TP, so I decided to gather all my besties - Sin Yee(The monkey), Le Xin(The quakie), Siew Yun(The Meowie) and Nadia(The Shocking beast a.k.a Princess according to herself!) Five of us would have a gathering, exchange gifts and enjoy a nice meal! And because of the changing gift session, yesterday I rushed back from Malaysia to buy gifts to exchange and also little gift for everyone! To my surprise, when I reached home, I saw present on my table! It's the christmas present from my sis! Yeah! It's a cute little Eeyore! Thanks jie jie! She even bought presents for all my besties and a box of Chocolate! OMG! They surely love her to death! Hahaha! Plus mine! Yes! They have a lot of gift! I'm sure they will be like happy like what! Hahaha! I was imagining everyone's facial expression while wrapping gifts for them! So happy and excited! Haha!

Few days ago I made a christmas card! So I printed it out as little cards and give it to all my besties! I also spend a night to type it and save it digitally, one by one send to my colleagues in Pagesetters! Everyone with different message! Wa! really spend a lot of time man! But in the end, very good! Everyone like my card! They all super duper happy! I'm glad to see that too! :)

Then this afternoon, I went to Ikea with all my besties to have our gathering! Yes! It was so happy! But too bad Cloudy and monkey need to go off earlier! But we did enjoyed ourself! We drew lots to see how to exchange the present! I got Quakie's present! It's a beautiful pencil case! Then cloudy got my recordable plush! (I bought one too as my sis christmas present too!) Haha! I recorded a Hahaha song (Korean song of cuz, but it's suppose to ask ppl no matter anything happen, just hahaha! I think it's meaningful that's y I recorded that! Haha!) Nady and monkey exchange their presents. It was really so joyful! I bought them their beloved daim chocolate! Haha! We all really had a very good time! The weather is like so cold! We imagined ourselves in some Europe countries! Wah! really super happy la~ We took a lot of photos and also attracted a lot of unwanted attention! Cuz who the hell will have their christmas celebration at NOON time man! Hahaha!

Now, I'm listening to lovely christmas song while writing this post! This is my habit! I like to play christmas songs every christmas! This is really a very enjoyable post!

Ok! Last but not least, all my dear frens! I'm sorry if I did hurt you or did something wrong, and I'm so thankful to you guys for always by my side sharing all my problems and helped me gone through lots of obstacles! It's been great to meet everyone! I'm really so lucky!!! Hahaha!!! Thanks so much all my dear frens! I hope every of us may have a wonderful christmas and also a happy coming 2009! Merry christmas!!!! Cheers! :)

Thanks! :)

2008-12-16T09:58:00.000-08:00

Well, after yesterday release out everything through my tears, I felt much better. Although things keep bugging me and it's like getting more and more. But it's alright! I will figure out the way to solve it, which I always do.

I'm so touched that everyone of you so concern about my situation. I'm so sorry to u guys if ever I hurt u or yesterday's post did turn u off. That's of cuz not my purpose. But I need a place to dump all my rubbish. So sorry if i did hurt any of u or make u unhappy!

I know depression is scary, and the most scary thing is that now the feeling that i experienced before during my sec school seems like coming back to find me.. that's really very scary. I dun wan to recall those days. But this kind of feeling really makes me feel like crying for no reason. I'm so scared to go back to those days. Monkey said I need to come out from this. Of cuz I know, but I'm still trying hard. I'm trying to do something would make me happy. I'm watching my TVXQ performing, and this seems to work a bit. I'm still figuring what else can really make me happy.

Today I went out to compass point, wanting to walk out a while, and also help my dad look for his tennis shoes. While waiting for bus, I was listening to TVXQ's Don't say goodbye. I was sitting at the bus stop, alone. The wind blew through my face, and suddenly this scary feeling attack me. I felt like crying there, but thank god I din in the end. (Walao! If not damn paiseh la!) I still remember there was once, i was crying on the bus. The uncle who was going to alight still staring at me. But I totally dun care already. I really felt so helpless at that time. But I tell myself, this is not going to work to fight back this kind of feeling. Go and do something. So, I went to popular, wanting to buy some books to read in order to get rid of that scary feeling. I finally bought Dave Pelzer's A man who called Dave. (Err.. Seems like won't help hor.. Might cry even worse wor.. haha..) It's time to read more books, clear my thoughts. I need to change, a change to be a better hee-haw. although I dunno how, but i know this take times. No one is perfect in this world. Everyone facing different kind of stress too. Just that we need to find a way to release out otherwise would ends up depression. I'm thankful to the person who ask my mum to learn old folks dance. If not she might already commit suicide.

I know I need to just dun bother about the family matters, but u see, I can't. I can't see my ah mah keep worrying everyday and keep on sighing. I can't just dun bother what my mum complain bout my father, cuz they are my parents! Everytime her words just like different kind of knife stabbing my heart. And my father's behaviour makes me worried everyday. Although he started to talk to my mum, but everytime he talks I'm damn nervous and worried. I worried he would scold my mum. I dunno how many times, I did covered for my mum. Like those little things la. But I'm really scared that they two scolding each other. I just can't dun bother them. So I try to find something to do at home like cleaning my house to reduce my mum's burden. Sigh~ Really dunno what else can i do already..

And now I need to consider where to continue study. I dunno whether NTU wan to accept me. the sch fees is like 9000+ a year. Where to find man! And I need a brain scan. I need to do it in Malaysia, cuz my cousin said non-singaporean even more expensive. So he suggested me to go for brain scan in Malaysia and consult doctor here. I need to plan which day which my mum is free to bring me. I'm sorry mummy. I can't go alone for this. Cuz I'm scared. :( I'm such a coward.

Now, I think I m reformating myself, mentally. That hoho so funny, ask me go to look for norton! haha! His description not bad, got imagination. I think I just need some times to 沉淀. I think for whole day, maybe I was too rely on four of u. I'm scared to lose one of u. It's time to be independant. But I just felt that recently, cuz of FYP, we all seems to have very little time get together. Even some gathering we can get together, but always not five of us. We r going to graduate soon. After graduate we would be busy for different things and of cuz would see each other even lesser than now. Maybe I'm too rely on friendship. Really! Hee-haw, it's time to be independent! Stand on ur own feet.

Dun worry for me, my friends. I'm glad that I have u guys as my true friends! At least u guys do trying to help me out from all these negative emotion. I will be fine. At least in front of u, I won't allow myself to show that I'm not happy. I will try to destress and look for things which makes me happy! Yes! Christmas! I should enjoy till the max before I face my brain scan and the dead project. Nothing will happen to me, I m sure. Maybe just take some medicine la. haha.. Ok, should sleep now. Tmr is going to be a brand new day for me! Although it takes time to get rid of this kind of feeling, but no worries! I can cope! Cuz I'm the HEE-HAW that u all used to know! :) Thanks so much anyway~ :)

Tearing.. T.T

2008-12-15T10:33:00.001-08:00

Ok! Just like the title! I'm tearing like nobody business right now. I hate myself! Why I always said the wrong thing!

I just did a stupid thing. Well it's not so stupid actually! Cuz I felt sorry at the same time also damn angry. I told one of my best friend - quakie, dun always say she is depress cuz we are depress too! Just tat we dun tell cuz dun wan to add stress to other ppl! Probably the last sentence is wrong. Ppl got no time to bother bout u actually. I said that cuz I hope she knows that dun keep saying u r depress. Cuz it doesn't help and in fact it affects ur mood to do ur work. Perhaps I dun understand what kind of drawing that u really wan to achieve, perhaps i dun understand ur project at all. But what I know is that, I'm hurt! I'm hurt to see u misinterpret my sentence and post it on ur blog like yes! It's all my fault to make other ppl stress! I dun mean that way! I dun feel good either. I just wan u to know that depress won't help. Now u should TRY to get out of depress! And now u feel depress doens't mean that u got depression.

When i see the sentence in her blog saying what i told her, it hurt me. Deeply. I felt like i got stab by my best fren. I TOT we are best fren and u would understand what m I saying? I TOT u will know that what I m saying is not to stress u!

Perhaps I'm too busybody. Perhaps I m a retard. I m hurt cuz I said that just that I hope u dun end up to depression. Depression is horrible. I saw the live example on my mum. And I know how she feels! I dun wan to see u get into depression. Everytime u told me u r depress, I'm scared. Really really scared and worried that u might just commit suicide. I'm scared to lost a best fren like u. That's y i can give up anything on my hands just to persuade u. But I'm fed up. I get a big stab everytime. U would just telling me, i dun understand, I can't help. I feel like a retard. I talked so much trying to make u think more positive way. I'm wrong! Totally wrong! I'm too naive! Ok, from now on, I should just do my own part. I shouldn't be such a busybody, thinking way to help u. It's ur project, and yes! Perhaps like what u said! I dun understand at all. I dun understand what u actually wan. I'm sorry for that ok!

My heart is bleeding and tearing at the same time. Cuz I hurt my best fren and at the same time I got hurt by my best fren. I can't say who's fault is it now. What I know is that I'm tearing like hell cuz I'm sad. All my words turns into a knife, killing my fren and myself. I learned the lesson. I won't be such a busybody anymore. Let me cool down..

This is really a great test from god. I have to face everything at the same time. My brain scan + my family matters + my parents + FYP + this! Just when I tot my parents are normal, they gave me a big slap on my face(as in not physically la)! Again, I'm wrong, i m the naive one who tot they will get together like before. And just when I tot my back problem is gg to solve, the doctor told me it's brain. I know nothing will happen but why! TAY KHAI XIN! Can u stop creating troubles! Health problem, family problem, and now friendship problem. Good enough as a test! Yes! that's what I'm facing. I'm scared to fail FYP too. I dun wan to use my parents and siblings money. I felt guilty. This is the greatest stress I ever had. At least till now. But it's ok. I will pull through this, just that I need some times.

I should give myself a big slap for anything I did wrongly. Wah! Then I dunno how many slaps should I get. What if I din say something wrong? What if I din fell down from steps? What if I din go for injection? What if I din come to this world?(No, I will regret! I can't enjoy my favourite music le!) But it's no point to say this cuz what had happened already happened. Alrite! Just try to solve it. Give myself sometimes, bit by bit, solves all these. Everythings would be fine. Soon. I believe... :(

Sigh...

2008-12-14T00:32:00.000-08:00

I know start a post with this kind of title is kind of sad la, but recently really feel so down... I duno why, but i just dun feel like come back to M'sia home. Probably a lot of things happens here.. Sigh..

Firstly, my cousin matters which makes everyone in super sian look! then my ah mah keep walking here and there and sigh~ Seriously dunno what she wants man! I already told her so many times that dun bother my cousin matters, he is almost 40 years old, u sigh here and there, nothing help to his bloody huge debt la! But she never listen at all. And becuz of her SIGH~ SIGH~ SIGH~, everyone dun feel like go home man! My mum keep going out, just dun wan to see her sighing~ My father finally exploded that day and tell her the same thing i told her! Hahaha.. He also buetahan liao! hahaha.. Then even my sis, the super fillial and homesick ppl also dun feel like go home le! Me? I'm worse, cuz I have to face a lot of pressure! Go home listen to my ah mah blabber how pathetic my cousin is, then listen to my mum how Kanasai my father is, then listen to my father unreasonable scolding.. Sigh~ Can someone save me pls!!!!! Why they are so unfair! Why they never treat my sis that way!!!!! SIGH~ That friday I reached Kluang, My mum and my cousin went to somewhere praying, so I went to my dad's office, not knowing whether he wants to fetch me home. My uncle said he rode motorcycle so can't fetch me! I suddenly felt so lost man~

I dunno what's my value in this family, why everytime I come back, I m just like a ball, nobody wan to fetch me back? I called my mum she said she is not free, wan to cook, ask my dad fetch me, then I sms my dad, what he replied? "Maybe late jogging" Go jogging also dun wan to fetch me. I remember once i told my mum, when one of u free just come and fetch me la, I walk around first. i seriously cried on the bus! I really dunno why I m still sitting on the bus heading to my hometown, I really felt like get down the bus and go back to Singapore immediately! In the end of cuz my mum came to fetch me, but as what I expected, the whole journey full of complaints of my father. I'm sicked of hearing all these!!

I'm tired to take bus all the way home, just like last two days, after I came back, what I heard are all complaints and complaints~ Sometimes I really do think that why I can't have a normal family! As in all in strong family bonding? Did I do anything wrong? What I SUPPOSED to know nobody inform me. What I DUN have to know, u complaint to me all the time? What U wan me to do? I'm tired! U all have no idea what I had experienced during my sec sch time! I even think of what if I die, what would u all do? Would u two get together again or divorce? U know how hard I gone through those days and do u know that how I hate to remember those days?! It's was nightmare! totally nightmare!!!!

I really dunno what can i do? I dunno, just feel like dun wan to come back, but sure kena my sis scold. Sigh~ I dunno what else I can do. When I tell my dad I need a BRAIN scan, he told me to go General hospital find doctor, WHAT FOR go for specialist? YES! If I got my own money, even my funeral I will pay for myself! if my own daughter need something like this, no matter how poor I m, I will work till I die and send her to the Best Specialist! But what u do to me? I know I'm uselesss! Always get into this kind of troubles, but it's not like I want! I felt guilty to use the money too! I dun wan to come back, I get stab everytime I come back. I dunno how many times I get hurt but I really dun feel like coming back to a so called Home to me!

Sigh~ I'm feeling so down man~ Sigh~ Ok la! It's time to stop now! After I throw out so many things here I felt better now! Ok, now I'm brand new hee-haw! hahahahaa.. So, concentrate on your FYP pls Hee-haw! But before that celebrate and enjoy a lot with honey dew, monkey, meowie and Princess Slutini which we miss a lot! It's ok to enjoy for that! hahahaha! (excuse excuse~)

Health check..

2008-11-28T23:44:00.000-08:00

28th November, my appointment to go for MRI scan for my neck and upper back. I did one before for my lower back, two years ago. But still, it was a scary experience.

Early morning I woke up at 6.00am and went out like 6.45am for breakfast. After the nice prata, me, my sis and my mum set off to JB puteri hospital. We were late as there was a traffic jam! Omg! I was 15 minutes late but thank god I didn't get scold and no need to wait too long. Then I need to get change. The pants that the nurse gave me was too big, I tied till the max still like dropping! hahaha.. I think I am not too fat actually! hahaha.. then i was waiting outside the room to be call up to enter the Scary room. "Tay Khai Xin, sini!" OMG! I was damn nervous! She asked me who I came with, cuz the MRI scan might take around one hour! So I quickly informed my mum and sis. Thank god she brought DS with her and my mum can talk to phone. So i think they were not too bored. Inside the room, the nurse gave me some instructions. Firstly I need to scan my neck first. Then only my back. Each scanning might takes 30 minutes, If I accidentally moves, then might take extra 15 minutes. I was so scared cuz she said can't bring in any metal things inside. But how about my BRACES!!? hahaha.. She asked me whether can take off, I say no! Then she said let's try, but if you feel not comfortable must tell her immediately! I was praying hard for nothing happen! But I dun dare to open my mouth while I was "send in" to the Machine! Hahaha.. The nurse looks even more worried than me! hahaha..

Then start with the neck, she told me I can't swallow my saliva until the machine stop the sound. And it takes around 3 minutes! sigh! Human is really a weird animal man! Usually we dun feel like swallow the saliva while lying down. But now really feel the urge to swallow! I really tried very hard to tahan! Hahaha.. Keep thinking cannot swallow, cannot! Hahaha.. Finally, I dunno how long passed, the nurse said, well done I followed the instruction. (haha, like primary sch gal!) then it's my back turn, she said I can back to normal now just that dun move any inch! So, She sticked a Pill at my back as her "marker" and help me to wear something on my body. Forget to mention, the distance between my face and the machine was like only a few cm! So It was really scary! The room was cold like hell. and she keep trying to get the right position. My bladder was about to burst man! Hahaha.. So I keep telling myself, another 5 minutes, tahan tahan~ hahaha.. when it finally done, I ran out to get change and RUN TO THE TOILET! Hahahaha! I like the malay nurse, she is so kind. :)

Then after the comfortable toilet visit, I was sitting in front of the counter to take my beautiful "photo" I took just now! Hahaha.. "Tay Khai Xin" Finally, my turn, need to pay now. "Seribu empat ratus!" OMG! RM1400!!!!!!! For ONE HOUR MRI scan. I knew it was expensive, I wonder they will charge me as one part or double? In the end it's double! SHIT! But it's consider cheaper than Pantai hospital in Melaka, RM750!! OMG! I'm sorry to my daddy man! He is now in a situation like this and I still spend a lot of money! I felt so sorry to him. T.T

Then I took my MRI scan to the specialist again. He said overall is all right, no fracture, the bone condition is all right. Good! Phew~ I was relieved although that was what I predicted. "BUT!" Sigh~ there's always a BUT! The doctor said he dunno what's the actual cause that my back keep paining like hell, but as an X-ray specialist, he found out that my neck part, there's a very strange condition. He shown me that part, very upper part of my neck, he said my brain position is low. (well, I dunno how to explain, but it's something about the brain! The exact name is called Chiari Type I Malformation! haha~ Sounds scary huh!) Oh my god?! BRAIN!!? I was shocked like what!! He said the situation might be naturally born to be like that, or other factors. So he suggested me to go and consult a Neurosurgeon! OMG! It's getting more and more complicated now. I never tot of my back problem would link to my BRAIN? He suggested me to go for a brain check! See la! No wonder I'm so crazy and abnormal, cuz my brain is rosak(Spoilt!) HAHAHAHAHA!!

So I asked for some painkiller, and then went back home. Sigh~ the consultant fee and medicine cost me RM92!! I should be a doctor man~ Hahaha.. Then I went back and told my father I need to scan my brain, he was like ????? WHY? Hahahhaa.. So funny he looks! But I didn't tell my Ah mah la. I felt super sweet yesterday, cuz my mum said my brother called back! Hahah! He seldom call back. I think like once or twice since he go to Australia. My mum told him would take me for the check up so he called back and ask and was surprise too! Hahaha... I love my brother~ :)

Then today, I really can't tahan so I go for Physiotherapy! Yeah! So happy! I like to go there~ Everyone treat me so well! ;) I took my "beautiful photo" and show my buddy! I told him the same thing and which part is the problematic part! My sis asked if there's a need to do the brain scan, he said if the specialist said that then might need to go for a check! and he said the Mahkota doctor that the specialist recommend is not good. So he searched for me and recommend me to go Singapore Hospital! OMG~ I can predict, A LOT MORE MONEY going to burn out~ Sigh~ I'm so so so sorry to my parents and family man. My buddy also said that that certain part really looks weird. So need to go for a check. While I was doing physiotherapy, I heard that my buddy was searching for this special name of the disease I suffered from. I dunno what's that, but he told my mum and sis, if need to operate, might need to cut out that little part of skull so that it won't block the brain!! OMG! and IT'S A BIG OPERATION! But not to worry first, cuz not sure I need to do that! and That's only the possibility only! But I was scared, really scared of that.

I dunno how much more money I need to burn this time. But I'm really so so sorry to my family and parents. Why can't I walk slowly that time? Why would I suffer from all these which cost a lot? Sigh~ All these things came at the very wrong timing. But it's ok, I guess it's not something very serious. So no need to worry too much for me, I will tell myself, be strong and it's not really something very big! Cuz everything haven't confirm yet! And I'm lucky Hee-haw according to Lexy what! So I will be fine! Just to release a bit stress here and now I felt much better now! :)

Hey people, nothing is more important than Health! I understand this since young cuz I had been through all different kinds of scans, check up... So, pls take care of yourself all my friends! I will do so! Sleep as early as we can and have balance meal ok! Do not torture yourself just to save money! Even you got no money to eat, Hee-haw the ATM can always treat u, but not expensive one! Hahaha.. So, remember! take care ya! :)

公平

2008-11-23T06:41:00.002-08:00

公平，我想它可能并不存在。如果这世界是公平的，那为什么还有这么多人受到不公平的待遇。

这几天，呆在家里。奶奶回来了。跟他聊天，聊关于我的堂哥，我是越聊越气！我曾经告诉我自己，上天是公平的。有付出就会有回报。但我越来越怀疑这个想法了。

爸爸已经60岁了，有时回家看见爸爸苍老的背影，突然觉得，他好像老了很多。不自觉地会想流泪。尤其最近，那个野心很大，不听劝告的堂哥，因为欠下一笔很大很大的债，老爸为了他，不停想办法，烦的睡不好，吃不下，甚至整副身家都拿来还那窝囊废的债！我真的很心疼，很想过去一巴一巴地打醒那个窝囊废！当初老爸劝他，不要轻易相信别人，那项投资风险很大，不听。现在，欠了一大笔钱，要我老爸去还。公平吗？我心疼的是我老爸，辛辛苦苦了大半辈子的心血，就这样被一个窝囊废完全掏光，什么也没有了。到老爸这把年纪，运气好早就坐在家里享儿孙福，有空就游山玩水。现在哪儿来的闲钱？老妈和老爸，辛苦那么多年，为了让我们过好日子，想不到，辛苦那么久，日子过得好的是另一家人。大伯一家，从以前，欠钱就是找老爸要。如果你说，因为你年轻时，出外工作养家，可以，我感谢你。但老爸帮你供3个儿子到美国念书, 帮你还了数也数不清的债务，应该已经仁至义尽了吧！现在，你的窝囊废儿子，又来讨债，是上辈子欠你的吗？老爸是个节俭的人。东西不用到坏，决不换！老爸那辆车，从我三年级坐到现在，妈妈的车也都八年了。家里的电视，用到冒烟还要拿去修，直到宣告死亡才买一部好的。我们从小到大，爸爸妈妈很少买我们喜欢的东西给我们。我们也从来没有自己的玩具，都是别人送的。就算是我的CD收藏，我可以大声地告诉你，每一张，都是我和我姐姐辛苦存钱买的，没有一张是爸爸买的！当初我想要买一部电脑，这样就不必天天去学校做功课，回家跟姐姐争电脑。我想了很久，才让我姐姐帮我问老爸可以买给我吗？我的腰伤，已经花了家里很多钱了，我真的不好意思再向他们要了。我们的日子为什么过得那么节俭，因为我们知道钱难赚，爸爸妈妈赚钱辛苦。相反的，我的大伯一家，这几年来，一共换了多少部车，我数不清。东西不见，再买。电话，厌倦了就换一部，玩具也是堆积如山。老实说，我很感谢爸妈没溺爱我们。我才不想像那家人一样。我现在看到他们的嘴脸，就会想，老爸辛苦赚的老本，就被这群无耻的家伙掏光了。我真的很气，连小叔没钱也向老爸伸手。你们当我老爸是银行吗？你们辛苦他就不辛苦吗? 没钱不会卖你们的大屋子，大车子吗？最惨的是奶奶只会帮他们向老爸开口，有时我都怀疑老爸是他亲生的吗？

那个窝囊废是长子第孙，惹了这么大的祸，就只会哭着求奶奶。你是疯了吗？你要他老人家烦到连那副纸片人的身躯跟你一起倒下吗？你知不知道奶奶为了你的事，厚着脸皮到处去借钱。为了你烦到吃不下，睡不好。现在瘦得只剩骨头。这就是你所谓的孝顺？分明是你不听劝，还跟奶奶说生意失败。奶奶那天没说我还没那么气，听了更是想冲去你家一巴掌掴下去。生意失败，多好听的理由阿! 连奶奶的钱你也敢借！为什么你做事情永远都不用脑想！为什么你都快40岁了想法还那么天真？想开面包店就开，你跟大嫂会做面包吗？根本都不了解这行，就相信你所谓的朋友！好啊，人家现在不想做了，走了，留一个烂摊子等你收拾。结果，不用我说，你们猜也猜得到！

我真的不明白，这世界真的公平吗？也许是这样，我不相信别人告诉我投资这样会赚大钱，现在我只相信，一步一脚印，努力工作，薪水低又怎样，至少别人会看见你的努力，慢慢的爬，总会到达终点。我真的不知道我可以怎样帮爸爸，我能做的只有为他们两老存钱，让他们可以无忧无虑的养老。至于那个窝囊废，就算我以后是亿万富翁都好，我一分一毫都不会帮！因为你们根本不值得。虽然这世界也许是不公平的，但我相信一句话，人在做，天在看。我不会诅咒你们，因为我很不幸的是你们的亲戚。但是我希望脸皮像城墙这样厚的你们，知道你们有多过分！

谁可以告诉我，我还能做什么？老爸对不起，我不会再跟你要钱了，我会自己努力赚的。还记得小时候你问我：你长大以后，赚了钱，一个月要给我多少钱？当时的我，还小，天真地说：一千给你, 一千给妈妈，剩下的自己存。但是我可能做不到了。我想我的薪水并没有那么高，但我一定会守我的承诺，照顾你们到老，不让你们操心，安心养老！也许应该从现在开始存钱了吧... ...

我的好朋友们，虽然这世界也许是不公平的，但发一发牢骚就算了，不要怨天尤人。因为比起大部分的人，我们已经很幸福了。至少我们不愁吃不愁穿。也许我们会遇到不公平的待遇，没关系，忍下来，当作是上天给我们人生的磨练。没有这些磨练，我们不会成长，思想不会成熟。只要我们自己知道，没有对不起任何人，问心无愧，就算被冤枉，总有一天他们会明白他们是错的。Specially dedicate to Lexy~ 无论如何，我们都会在你身旁支持你。有什么不开心想诉苦，三对耳朵随时等你！加油！不要被那些无聊的姐姐给打倒。她怎么欺负你，天都看见了，她怎么诋毁你，天都听见了。总有一天，他们会相信你的！加油啦！:)

The stressful days finally approaching..

2008-11-20T07:37:00.000-08:00

Sigh~ Finally, after few years of hard works, it's time to do Major Project! OMG! I tot I can handle it like a normal project, but I can sense that the stressful days finally approaching.. It's getting more and more stress! Sigh~

Although I know what i m doing, but really don't know how to start! I seriously quite lost! But after discussing with quakie today in Mcdonalds (Our McD breakfast day!) I think I know what should I do next. James agreed with my story concept, just that I need to come out with a story outline by next week. These few days I really enjoyed myself like FYP doesn't exist in my mind! I was watching 家好月圆! So nice! I think I must really finish it so that I can concentrate after that! Haha.. (Excuse! Excuse!)

Tuesday, me, quakie, monkey and cloudy went to swim in anchorvale swimming complex while Nady is swimming in Ganges River in India at the same time! haha.. Yeah! Finally!!! Haha.. We enjoyed ourself a lot that day! But monkey's swim suit was torn after playing the slide. It's a small hole though, but still quite obvious! Hahaha.. Quakie was so funny! Before we slide down from the slide, she hang halfway as she slipped accidentally! It was so awkward! and the life guard behind was laughing! Hahaha.. OMG! I can't stop laughing! We also tried the Jacuzzi! So comfortable that we don't bear to come up! We enjoyed a lot there! It's like a mini Sunway Lagoon according to quakie! haha! But after that I felt so guilty! I asked cloudy to board the WRONG bus! OMG! I'm so sorry! I tot bus 88 would pass by hougang interchange! But It's not! OMG! Seriously so sorry to my beloved meowie! :)

Today, I had an enjoyable breakfast with quakie in Mcdonald! Nice breakfast! Hahaha.. We sat there, discussing, chatting, drawing doodles.. What a nice afternoon! :) Then evening I went to swim with my sis! Again in anchorvale. So tired! I swim a lot today! Haha! Feel really great! Hahaha.. I like sports! OMG! I need to do more exercise!

Nady went to India this monday and today is day 4! So not used to it! No ppl laugh with me! Princess I miss you a lot~ You must take care of yourself there ok! No overeating! But I guess u won't eat there also! Hahaha..

Ok, everyone! Listen, don't be stress over this Major Project ok! Just treat it as our usual project! It's just the Title a bit different! We had gone thru a lot of obstacles together and I'm sure we can pull through this also! Jia you everyone! But before the stressful project, let's slack a while now~ 1 day only ok! 1 day! hahahahaha.. :)

Hiak Hiak Hiak~ Albumsss!!!

2008-11-06T08:56:00.000-08:00

Hiak Hiak Hiak! Everyone! I finally bought my long-waited albumsss~ Who else? TVXQ la!

Yesterday I broke my record. I took 7 different buses! Haha.. Let me count for you. In the morning, as usual, I took 88 to Pasir Ris interchange and transfer to 15 to school. Then after class, I decided to go to Chong Pang there, buy some retro toys for my major project. Then I took bus 23 to Tampines interchange and change to 969 to Yishun! Awww~ So memorable~ After that, I took bus 800 from Yishun interchange to Chong Pang and bought some toys. Then I took bus 800 back to interchange and wait for 965 go back to Sengkang. I decided to go compass point and try my luck see whether I can get my long-waited TVXQ's album. After that I took bus 80 back to my house! OMG! Break record! 7 different buses! Haha.. Thank god I bought consession. Haha..

This block, I'm having Creative Writing with my Major Project. Paul's class really interesting and I think I enjoyed his class. Just that I can't stand some bitches in my class! they really sucks! But I'm lucky to meet two cute and lovely year 1 freshmen from ADM - Yi Ling and Hazel! Haha.. They both sat beside me. They are so cute. Paul is really a funny man. He jokes a lot in class and I like how he laughed! really like a kid! His teaching style kind of help me a lot with my project and how to come out with idea, although I still hate to sit in a circle. So scary. I really dun like those people opposite me lo! They are so arrogant ok! I group with one that day! I really fell like bodyslam her man. She tot her idea was the best, ask her to interview me, she keep like waiting for me to talk! Dun even ask question man! then still telling me to change my story! Her face really irritating! I can't stand her keep shaking her legs during class man! so arrogant and self-centred!

After class that day, as I mentioned, I went back to Yishun to buy some retro toys there. It's was so memorable to me. Long time never sit on 969. I still remember some drivers. The bus keeps remind me of those time I took buses abck with Nady! Haha.. So fun! We were sleeping and it's so fun to see her drop her hands while she's sleeping! The bus stops, the shopping centre, the interchange, all are so memorable to me! Haha.. Yishun really changed a lot! Especially North Point! It's bigger now although some part still under construction. Haha.. I went back to Chong Pang that toys shop to buy some stuff for my Major Project references. I used to buy toys from that shop for my applied illustration project. I feel great to step in Yishun again! :)

Then I went back to compass point, wanting to try my luck and see whether I can get my long-waited TVXQ's album! YES! FINALLY! Even the concert DVD! Yeah!! I bought three at one time, of cuz three different one (Haha.. My jie jie shares with me la! Haha.. Then the funny thing happened. Iwas holding three CDs to the counter. The guy who works there got shocked and keep looking at my CDs. Then he pretend to drink water near the counter, but I saw his eyes were trying to peeps what I bought! OMG! I spent 110 dollars man! But I was damn happy man! Seriously CDs are all my life. I ever think of if my house get burn, the first thing to move out should be my CDs! Buy CD really makes me happy! :)

Major Project. Sigh~ So stressful! I wish I can go back to year one man! Hope what I'm going to do would turn out nice la. Otherwise.. Sigh~ I also dunno what can I do! My best frens! Everyone! Jia You for our FYP ok! We surely can do it! Jia You!! :)

Outing Outing!!

2008-10-30T23:45:00.001-07:00

Yes! Finally! Yesterday! We get to go East Coast to relax ourself before the MONDAY we going to stress like hell! Haha.. Yesterday was our cycling day!! :)

Since this week after hand up our proposal, everyone was damn free except me (T.T I got creative writing..), so i decided to have a cycling day which we all always wanted to go together, but also lack of someone! haha.. So yesterday finally, all of us gather! Porky, monkey, quakie, meowie! (Wai sun also la.. Just that we tot he is so poor thing. Haha.. Not really la.. wai sun dun be sad. HAHA..) So six of us went to East Coast enjoyed our CYCLING DAY~ YAY YAY!!

Before that, I had my morning class. Meowie and monkey were on a mission! Buy a big cake to celebrate really belated quakie birthday and also Hohoboy's coming birthday. Haha.. I meet quakie and porky in sch and go to together. Monkey and meowie were the earliest. Hohoboy went to met us there himself. While me, quakie & porky were happily chatting on bus, laugh like hell. OMG! Seriously, we met Bina while waiting for quakie at design entrance. She said "you are very busy with your facebook huh?" me and porky were like OMG~ Then Porky said "who?" (Still want to act.. Tsk tsk..) then i said "both." Hahahhaa.. OMG! She saw all our crazy photosss that's it la~ then the even more angry thing was that I was on my way to meet monkey & meowie before they go. I was wearing my LEAVE ME ALONE t-shirt. And these group of BLOODY CHILDISH guys keep shouting, "Leave her alone ar.." then they squeeze to one side. Of cuz I gave them my Leave me alone face! Shit! I feel like bodyslam them at that moment ok! and that porky still laugh like crazy!!! TSK TSK TSK!!!

While we all reached McCafe (our meeting place.), I had my lunch and after that! celebration time! haha.. We took out the cake, sang a birthday song for both of them. Before that, the speaker near us were playing some retro chinese songs. But we love that aunty/uncle. When quakie and hohoboy was about the cut the cake, suddenly. "tonight~ I celebrate my love for you~" WAHAHAHAHAHHA.. So romantic! Hahaha... I'm sure quakie felt like puke at that moment! But it was damn funny! hahaha.. Then after eating the cake, we walked towards East Coast and starts cycling! YAY!

We rent one bike for each of us and start cycling! We cycled around, relax a lot. Chatting while cycling. "沒有做不到，沒有不可能" keep bugging my head! That Quakie keep shouting these words! Haha.. Then we reached a nice place to take our "wei mei" photo. We parked our bike on the green and start photo session. We ran and jumped according to our photographer. We had a lot of fun there until monkey said she needs to shit! Haha.. then we faster move to toilet. While we were on the way to toilet, we felt like the situation really suitable for those musical scene like Mamma Mia! Haha.. then we sang along the road, playing while cycling, recalling any nice songs. That was really fun~ But soon. It's almost 4something. Quakie and hohoboy need to left for their Running training. they got involved in the competition. Poor things. Then we all returned our bike and walked back.

Later on, they both took a taxi to school. Porky, monkey, meowie and me continue our happy day! We wanted to have a cool drinks. But we passed by an air-con shop selling Taiwanese milk ice! Wow! we all went in and eat the nice milk ice and chatting till about 5.30pm. When we pay, we just realised we got cheated. It wrote at the banner, all FROM $3.00. But we tot is all $3.00! OMG! really felt cheated and want to bodyslam the boss. but all rite, it's our fault. At least the ice was nice and we had a good time. Don't want to spoilt our mood. So four of us get on bus 15 and that's end our happy cycling day.

I'm sure that day would be our lovely and memorable cycling day. It was fun and I knew I will miss it! It's already year 3. Time really flies. I dun want to graduate so fast. it's been great having you guys by my side. People~ When are we going for our next trip? We must know how to relax ourself during FYP ok? Jia You people~ I'm really glad to be one of the group! Let's plan and have next trip~ :)

Update~~ :)

2008-10-20T08:12:00.000-07:00

*neon nareul weonhae neon naege bbajyeo neon naege michyeohe eonal su eobseo I got you- Under my skin*

YES! I'm totally addicted to TVXQ's new song - Mirotic (Jumun) /Spell! I got their spell! Arh~~ Haha.. Finally! TVXQ's 4th korean album release and they got really overwhelming response from their fans! (I'm one of them! Heehee..) They sold 200,000 copies of their album! Yeah!! And I just knew that the amount of their fans from every part of the world, total 800,000 ppl!!!!! And that's recorded in Guiness World record! Wow! Wow! Wow! Chukahamnida~ :)

I love their new album, very different from their previous album, really mature a lot and more man! I like the song that Xiah composed the lyric, the melody is touching. I'm happy to know that my lovely Changmin composed the lyric for korean version Love in the ice! Which is also a very nice and touching song. Heehee.. Madly in love man~ Haha..

Another excitement - Wonder Girls' Nobody! Hahaha... I love this song a lot! also very addictive! This is also the last song for their retro series after Tell me and so hot! although it's an EP, but it's a very nice EP. I like the song that Ye Eun composed the most. Saying I Love You. Very touching and sweet. :)

Another big thing to share - My koko came back! Haha.. although it's just around four or five days, but I really happy to see him. I miss him a lot. That few days, we busy visiting relatives. I was so happy, cuz I finally feel that my family is complete. My father seldom talk, but i can tell that he actually concerned him a lot. That day he sent my uncle to Ipoh, the second day, he rushed back before we set off to Singapore as my brother going to fly off to HK the next day. That time only I feel the love from my dad. He really changed a lot. I'm happy for his changes. :)

But really kind of sad to send him off. Sigh, so many years still like that! Haha..

And then, I'm going to tell u guys about our Malaysia Trip! Heehee! No worry, It's quite short since ppl reading my blog also involve in this trip! Hahaha.. After sending off my brother, I supposed to cry alone as usual, but this time, i got no time to cry. That's the start of our Malaysia trip! Heehee.. So, me and my mummy fetch cloudy and quakie to my Hometown - Kluang. Monkey took a train to my hometown. As we reached earlier so we have our lunch first. Then I drive them to fetch monkey and go to my house rest. Cloudy seems like very excited of our trip and very excited to see me driving! Haha.. So funny! Then, night time we went to Pasar Malam! We bought quite a lot of stuff there! really enjoy our time there.. Haha.. At least I felt that way la.. Hahaha..

The next day, we went to eat nice curry noodles, then we went to watch a movie. We wanted to watch Mamma mia, but it's not on the list. So we watched EAGLE EYE!! OMG!! Then four of us really addicted! Especially me! Haha.. Shia LaBeouf So handsome man! Hahaha.. I like the story too. Nice to watch! :) Then we go home and wait for dinner! Haha.. Three of them seems like enjoy reading magazines in my house.. Hahha.. Night time we went to eat Roti Planta! Yeah! So nice! Then night time we watch cartoon 我们这一家! that's our activities before sleep after that day! Haha..

The next morning, after nice breakfast, we took a bus to KL. My first time to take LRT. Haha.. Long time never come to KL after Jay's concert. Haha.. I mean explore la.. Then we wait for quakie's mummy to fetch us at Taman Jaya station. That day was soooo HOT!! We were melting~ Then after some rest, we went to Sungai Wang, SHOPPING!!! Yeah!! Haha.. We ate our dinner at Kim Gary! That's very enjoyable. After that, it's quite late, we took a cab back. But on the way back, quakie suddenly told us horrible thing!!! SHE FORGOT TO BRING HOUSE KEY!!!!! OMG~ We were tired like what, so we wait for her mum to open the door at the opposite mamak stall. We can only order drinks as we were full like what~ Haha.. But I gave that uncle extra money as I felt so sorry to him. His stall really pathetic, but the teh tarik is nice! :) Then we went back to quakie's house and rest. The next day, we went to quakie's grandmother house. It's at Sungai Buluh. We went to see her big family, her school. It's very awkward to sit there actually.. Haha.. I just remember that I ate a lot of rice! Haha.. Her grandmother cooked a lot for us! Haha.. We also ate nice zhu rou yuan in the afternoon.

Then it's Sunday, we went to buy monkey's train ticket first, then.. Haha! go to sunway Lagoon!!!! Yeah!!! But we took 35 minutes to go one stop, I mean KTM Komuter. Cuz the map is too confused. So we keep taking the wrong train. But not bad la, I get to take komuter. Haha.. Then we took a taxi from mid valley towards - SUNWAY LAGOON! Supposed cloudy need to pay more for the ticket as she dun have discount. (there's 12 ringgit deduction for malaysian! Haha..) But that aunty seems like dun care also, she just scanned one and all of us pay 48ringgit! Haha.. Thanks ticket aunty~ Then we had a lot of fun inside, of cuz. But halfway raining, so quite a lot of things we can't play. In the end all of us were wet (we already took our bath!) and wearing wet pants to go shopping! Haha.. Monkey bought a pants, I bought a bag. We ate the delicious KFC! Then I went to buy cake for quakie as that day was her birthday! 13 October~ When we go home, we rest and watch cartoon. Then 12am! We start our celebration! We took photosss (as usual) then sing birthday song, quakie gave each of us a hug~ :) So sweet~ then we all watch cartoon together! Then we squeeze together and sleep. the next day, we all go back to each other hometown. Cloudy follow me and tuesday go back to SG. Both of us were sick! I spent 37 dollars to consult a doctor man! Shit! Haha.. But Overall, it's really enjoyable! :)

Sch reopen. I missed those days working with Pagesetters. (I spent my holidays working with them) The last day walked out the office really very sad, but I told myself, I can always come back. It's been great to work with them again! :)

Wah~ Din realize I wrote such a long post~ Haha.. ok! Shall stop here and stop and continue stress for FYP.. Haigh~ See u guys~

Teng Teng Teng! Class time!

2008-09-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

Aherm... Everybody pls sit at ur own place, listen (actually should be read) carefully what I'm going to teach today! Especially my best frens, Lexy, Ah Chan, and Cloudy!

Ok, today's lecture is about life. I'm sorry I shall mix my language ok..

Aherm.. Ok, well, recently there are some unhappy thing happen. As the Oldest (T.T) among u guys, I think I need to do counseling to u guys.. I hope after reading this page, u will start thinking and I hope this is useful to u!

Well, as u all know, I experienced depression before. It was a period that I would never never want to go back. I knew how terrible is the feeling is. I kept crying, dunno whether the next minute, my mum would commit suicide, dunno whether my parents would divorce, dunno what should i do. I even think of what if i die, will they get together again? But I'm glad, I was able to THINK! T-H-I-N-K! The magic word! If I dun start thinking, maybe I might not sitting here and writting blog. I learned a lot of things thru thinking.

Nobody can control ppl's life. The only driver of urself is urself. U wan to lead a happy life or sad life is ur own decision. So I asked myself, if I can only live for 30 years, I only left 10 years more. I dun want when I look back as a soul, or think back, there's nothing I'm happy with, all sad scene. I always wonder how would my funeral be, would they cry or laugh? Or nobody would come as they dun treat me as fren? I'm really curious. I want by that time, I have somebody to 舍不得, I want me can't bear with my happy memory. I dun wan till the last moment, I'm still crying. So, I realize, how important n powerful thinking is! I decided to live for myself (as in not self-centred), dun torture myself, live a happy life. I learned to find all little things that would make me happy like buy CDsss, (that's where my money gone.. T.T) finding when is my TVXQ's album going to release, help someone! All those little little things that will makes me feel, I'm glad to live on this wonderful world with all nice music, nice food, nice frens.. Learned not to cover urself with negative thoughts. (Although I will still depress sometimes) My method to get rid of depression is to listen to sad songsss, cried till I can't cry anymore, back to sleep. The next day, tell myself, everything is over! I will start all over again!

This time I should apologize to everyone! I'm the culprit of this incident! I shouldn't be like this.. I was really angry after Ah chan said not going. At that moment, I really felt kena cheated. But then I step back n think! (Again, the magic word! Step back n think!) I might be too childish. I spoilt ah chan's day, n make lexy n cloudy not happy. I'm sorry~ Then I knew some incidents going. Again I step back and see the whole pic, Ceh! NO BIG DEAL! It's just a miscommunication in between us. We played 传话游戏before. In the end always ends up with funny things. We can't transfer something exactly to others. So this create the misunderstanding. We might feel hurt but think the other way, if the same thing happen to me, how will u feel? Even I was hurt by my best fren but in my heart I knew, they are for my own good. I saw a sentence before. Good fren will only tell u good things; best fren will tell u the truth, although it's cruel, but they said this for ur own good. Try to think why they say this to us, if not dun treat us as best fren, they dun even bother to tell u! So, just think positively! I guess these few months we were too busy, lack of face to face chatting like last time, that's y seems like lost in something. Chatting is very powerful as we could understand each others more. Think back, these almost three years, we were really happy! So, dun let those small little things to destroy us! our frenship is strong! Haha.. We must prove it!

Well, I do hope u all understand what i'm saying.. As the oldest in our group i think I got the responsible to do this. Well, it's just a life lecture. Not shooting anyone! Pls dun 对号入座ar! I hope we will be happy as usual~ Now! Let's cheer for our frenship! :) Whee~ I love my frens~ :) Never left out! Princess!! :)

I need sometimes to think..

2008-09-23T08:43:00.000-07:00

Hello ppl, sorry for late update.. Ok, the tile is quite sad.. I'm going to talk about that later.. Now, as i promised, i'm going to tell u guys about my mid-festival night! Haha..

Actually, that night not really fun.. cuz the organiser not really good at organizing the event.. But the fun thing is i get to play lantern like a kid! Yeah! actually i even did a lantern (or i should say a lamp?) for fuN!! :) Haha.. Nice?

I'm back in Pagesetters for around two weeks.. Working here is really a nice experience.. Last friday, we were holding a book launch for a poetry book at the old parliment house.. I was selling another title by the other guy as he had a reading session down stairs.. the sales not very good as the book launch before last year, so they just come for the reading session.. and guess what! I reached there only realize Felix is the speaker! Hahaha.. So coincidense.. He was so surprise to see me there but since i'm wearing Ethos book T-shirt, he knew I was working la.. Haha.. so nice to chat with him once again.. Then i rush here and there.. But had a nice, short quick dinner (leftover buffet! Haha..) I'm so sorry can't join my frens in east coast for BBQ, but the book launch really need my help.. So sorry, I believe we have a lot of chance next time! :) That day dunno whether Mr Fong was drunk, he gave everyone one day off, then i was making funny face with his daughter as i got no day off, then OMG! I think he saw it! haha.. He suddenly said, "Eh? Khai Xin, you got no day off hor? How ar?" then my lady boss said, "it's ok! We give her double pay today!!" YEah!! Haha.. although not much money but i felt warm-hearted.. :)

I'm seriously doing everything in Pagesetters, almost everything, so quite tiring but learned a lot of things. I'm happy to be with my colleagues again! :) But suddenly a lot of things falls on me! Have to finish before October.. I wonder I can do it.. Haha.. But I will try my best to work faster la.. Haha.. So tiring..

Today! I went to Anchorvale swimming pools swimming with my sis.. So enjoyable.. I love the swimming pools a lot! So fun! Also long time din swim le, so happy! :) But really tiring~ Zzzzz

haha! One day i must bring along Lexy, Cloudy and ah chan to go n play! Haha.. Trust me! It's fun!

Ok, finally back to my title.. Recently, maybe start holidays.. I start to rest my mind and think of a lot of things. Today, I'm not really happy, or actually can said is really angry to death.. Something happened. It's not that I'm petty, maybe u would think it's just a small thing.. But this is my 原哲问题。I confessed that I'm not a good-tempered person. In fact, I'm really a hot-tempered person. I just hate myself that I can't control myself. But this time, I'm really angry, not becuz of u said u dun wan to go, it's that how many times u promised us that u will surely join us, but in the end, last minute just say not joining. And even rejecting one by one.. Can u recall how u promised us? I'm angry of ur irresponsible not u not joing us ok! I'm just a normal person. 我的忍耐也是有极限的，现在已经到极限了。I really dun wan to do this to my best fren, but I'm sad when i treat ppl like my most precious one and I'm just nothing to them. Ok, I shall calm down.. I dunno how to deal with this.. I need to time to think, I need time to get over this.. Give me sometimes.. BTW, i'm saying this seriously, if u feel like gg home to accompany family members jsut go for it, dun stay here jsut becuz of we angry with u.. U should have more time with ur family members.. What we want is u should be happy all the time. I hope we enjoy every single trip. Not forcing to go any place. I guess it won't turn up nice..

And I really hate myself a lot! Can somebody tell me how to be a good daughter? I really dunno how? I hope one day I can be a daughter that my mum n dad will be proud of me. I just heard my mum said if not for us, my dad already divorce my mum.. That moment, although I'm not comfortable with this, but I knew my daddy loves us. But sometimes he can be really irritating.. That's also the reason why I back to Pagesetters. I think I will get depression if i keep on stay at home! I really need someone tell me how to be a good daughter! How to control my temper! How! Seriously, everyone, give me sometimes! I need sometimes to get over this.. T.T

OMG! This is really a long post! But something I'm excited on! Finally, Yeah!!! 24th September! Release of TVXQ album Mirotic! Yeah! I love them~~ So nice! I'm looking forward to their new album! Jia you! N the next day Wonder girls!!! Haha.. ok.. should stop it! I think i should really dip myself in music! I need them while thinking.. ok, I hope the next post i can tell u guys, I already get over eveything! So tiring.. wanna sleep liao~ Bye~ :)

Update!!

2008-09-10T07:07:00.000-07:00

Hello people~ Wah.. recently so rajin! Haha.. Cuz I got something to write mah~ Well, I'm back! This week back to Singapore! But it was a tiring week! Haha..

Firstly, when I reached Singapore, I msg all my dear friends and even gave each of them a call! As usual, everyone picked up except MONKEY!! TSK! forever! Throw away the phone man! Oh ya, really so sorry to princess that I tot she got no class but she picked up my call while waiting to consult in class! See! Monkey! Ok la, maybe u r consulting that time! Ok, forgive u one time! Next time u dun pick up again I will smash ur phone into two pieces! Haha.. I was thinking to have a gathering, but too bad, I came at the wrong timing, it's third week everyone just busy like crazy.. So I was planning to go bugis and help my sis buy the materials to do the lantern. (Her company is having lantern design competition! Haha.. So cute!) After that, Lexy said she is going to buy a mouse, so we decided to go together! I went to school met princess, monkey and lexy, too bad cloudy was too busy and was working at home.. I haven't see her for very long time.. Haha.. Cloudy! I miss u~ Haha..

Ok,ok, here comes the exciting part! After lunch in school, me & lexy started our shopping day!! We went to challenger buy mouse and whatever.. Haigh, I spent S$33 for my laptop cooling balls!! OMG! Cuz my membership expired.. Lexy bought few items and I felt that next time I could have buy something her so I joined member again! the cooling balls original member price only 13! But it's ok la, I apply already, Lexy's items can have big discount and next time monkey ar, princess or cloudy might want to buy something from challenger! Then, my membership can be use liao! Haha.. Then, we went to bugis to buy the materials.. Body shop is having promotion, so I bought a bodymist with only S$12 instead of the original price S$19.90! haha.. I bought myself the nice lotion too! Really like the lotion a lot! I love body shop!! :) Then finally start my purpose that day! BUY MATERIALS! haha.. Bought quite a lot of stuff there la.. After that, we were planning to go for dinner then go home, but SHIT! Both of us saw a shop that grab our attention! OMG!! The clothes there super nice man! All from korea!! Ya, it's the shop that I bought my jacket in Novena! Same boss! Such a coincidence that I was wearing that jacket and that aunty came and asked me : "u bought this jacket from me rite?" Hahaha.. So Paiseh! But the clothes inside seriously so nice! I want to slim down and buy the whole shop man! haha.. Lexy also loves their clothes! In the end! SHIT!! We really spend a lot of money! We both bought two pieces.. The most paiseh is that I forgot to try that one I like, after dinner, super paiseh to step in and buy again! Haha.. Lexy keep laughing at me but seriously I'm not used to go inside a shop twice as I'm so paiseh la! Haha.. But really happy! Cuz bought two clothes that I really like! Expensive? it's ok la, seldom see something I really like!my mum gave me some money for birthday ma.. So ok lo~ I can always earn it back! :)

That day was really tiring.. But really very happy! thanks Lexy for accompany me shopping! We both had a great day! Haha.. the next day, I went back to Pagesetters.. I supposed to go there and visit my colleague - Sheryl as 10th September is her last day in PS. But when Wai Han knew that I'm having holidays, she asked me to go back and work.. Ok la, rest two weeks enough la.. Stay at home also boring.. Earn some money also not bad! So! Tada! I'm back to work in Pagesetters now! But the timing is quite free la! I dun mind as it's really comfortable to work in such a happy environment! :) After work, I went to Yio Chu Kang to do lantern with my sis & her friends! OMG!! Super tiring! Still have to take bus back.. I almost wanna faint man! Haha.. The next day which is today still have to work! OMG! feel like a deadmeat! Haha..

Today, it's Sheryl last day.. We secretly did a card for her and again they bought a cake! YEAH! Haha.. Like what Alvan said they are really best customers of cakeshop! Haha.. I did a card for her also! She likes it! Haha.. We squeezed in the little pantry and have our makan there~ So warm-hearted.. But too bad, Sheryl leaving.. Before I left the office, she gave me a hug! But I know she will be back! We can always keep in touch! So ok! Sheryl, really wish u all the best for ur new venture in ur life! It's been a great experience to work with u! All the best ya!

And all my dear friends! Jia you for this block! Tmr I'm gg to work halfday and go back M'sia! Friday mummy going to bring me to play lanterns with kids! Yeah!! So exciting! Will update with you guys again! :) Jia you! :)

Harlo~ Ppl~

2008-09-05T02:35:00.000-07:00

Hihi!! Hee-haw is back! :) Hee-haw is having her holidays right now but really really miss her friends a lot! hahaha..

Well, let's talk about my holidays.. Well, it's been two weeks I stayed at home.. Nothing special actually.. But this might be the most memorable holidays I think.. I realize that my PARENTS START TO TALK TO EACH OTHER!! OMG!! can u believe it?! Till now I also dun believe it! Hahaha.. But there are good and bad too.. Now i'm still so scared that my dad talk to my mum, cuz he will start complaining.. Omg, that time I really feel like dying man, when we have dinner together he kept complaining this and that and I could sense that my mum was about to explode! OMG.. So scary.. Better go back SG.. hahaha.. But I see great improvement la.. At least he talked nicely not those want to smack ppl tone! hahahaha.. Daddy & mummy, I really hope that u two can stay peacefully.. Just that simple, i don't think u two can be lovely couple but at least just talk to each other without making each other angry.. I just hope u two can stay peacefully.. Ok la, at least got improvement! I shall give each of u one sticker! :) hahaha..

Well, actually my holidays here very boring.. Everyday stick with my com.. Haha.. Recently start to mad with BIG BANG.. Haha.. their songs very nice! I like Seung Ri a lot! Haha.. he's cute! But no worries, I still love my TVXQ the most! hahahaha... Oh ya, I'm waiting for 24th September to come! TVXQ going to debut their fouth korean album that day! OMG! So looking forward to it! :) And the next day would be wonder girls! Haha.. I love september! 25th september also our lovely monkey's birthday! What a nice day! :) Hmm.. this time must give monkey a very good birthday since we always on holidays during her birthday! haha..

Although I'm having such a long holidays here but I din get to see any of my m'sia frens.. they are all busy with their studies.. So it's ok.. I'm not that disappointed anymore.. cuz.. My heart already dead for them.. I told myself if they ask me out it's just a bonus that I get from them.. Don't expect too high so that I won't be too disappointed afterthat.. But I really really miss my ultimate best frensss, monkey, quakie, meowie & porky!! hahaha... Just two weeks nvr see, haigh.. can't imagine after graduate how can we survive man.. Hahaha.. Two weeks already kill us by missing each other! hahaha.. But i'm going back! hahaha.. Go swimming.. I know a bit xiao but at least I get to see u guys! :)

Also there's a sad news to share, one of my colleague in Pagesetters going to leave the big family.. So i'm going back the day before she leaves which is 9th September - also CJ's birthday! haha.. Purposely go there and eat cake!! hahahahaha... :) But next time I can't see Sheryl there.. So sad.. She is one of my best friend there.. But we can always keep in touch! Hope she found a better job! :) (haigh, Pagesetters so nice she still want to leave.. Lexy!! Faster go apply!! hahaha..)

Oh ya, Everyone! I've got a new phone without paying any cents!! YEAH!! W910i.. Cuz my plan ending soon so I just recontract.. But still very happy to get new phone with 0 cents! haha.. Another good news is that my god of fortune coming back for few days this year October!! haha... Koko~~~ I want DSLR Camera~~ haha.. although my sis just bought a new digital camera~ But actually I really miss my koko la.. not really for the camera la.. (I'm sincerely feel that way! )

Haigh.. Having holidays now but still can't relax till the max cuz really have no idea what should I do for FYP.. Hmm.. should start doing research.. But so sienz le.. Nvm la, try to see more thing and get some inspiration la! Hey my ultimate best frenssss, I 'm coming back~ See u there ya! :)

My birthday!! (16th August 2008)

2008-08-16T08:43:00.000-07:00

Yes!! Today is my birthday!! OMG! 20th already!! Can't imagine man!! I still laughing at people that they are getting older! Haha..

Ok, let's talk about how my best frens celebrate for me! Friday, 15th august, I dunno that they are going to celebrate my birthday, but I knew that they might do something either friday or monday! So, after consulted Lynette, (it's really fast consultation), I went back to the room with sin yee! I was shouting : Porky~~ But then I saw a cake on the table! they still hiding behind the board!! Haha.. they tot I dunno but dunno why I can sense whether there are people in the room! Haha.. Even without seeing their shoes! Haha.. But then, Nady haven't come back yet with her Lighter, so we decided to bluff her. She came back happily and discussing how to light the cake, but she dunno me and sin yee were hiding behind the board!! Haha.. then we appeared she was super damn disappointing!! Haha.. (It's ok, Nady, I know u tried very hard!) haha..

Then the funniest thing is that they drew me fire and paste on the candle, cuz we can't get lighter!! Haha.. We played around, took tonssss of photossss.. It's was very crazy and fun that I shall never forget! But too bad, Cloudy went back to Malaysia and she was not there with us! :(
But it's ok! We will have many chance in the future~ Haha.. And I really wan to credit my honey - Lexy to go down all the way to Dhoby Ghaut, bought the ultra delicious dark chocolate cake!!! Thanks honey! I know u had a hard time cuz Nady overslept! thanks Nady also for.. what ever u do to ur donkey!! Haha.. And my dear sin yee, thanks for take out ur precious time to celebrate and planned for this surprise!! Even though u r sick, still play with us! So nice of u!! Thanks!! Thanks wendy also! Our big mama for cutting the cake, and Genie, Rene for taking part so that my birthday party won't look so pathetic! Haha..

Thanks people, I really had a good time with u guys!! Thanks for everything u all do for me!! I like the present a lot!! ok la, Thanks wai sun for the predictable present ok!! Hahaha..

Then, that day evening I went to Bugis National library to attend my interned company's book launch! They invited me to go this restricted place which is so cool!! the night scene super ultra nice! I'm so glad to be there and help out! So glad to see them again!! Then after the event, everyone went off, suddenly, my best fren in Pagesetters - CJ! He told everyone that tmr (16th august) is my birthday! Everyone was surprised and they sang birthday song for me!!! OMG!!! That's so paiseh!! At the same time, they are so sweeeet!! Even my boss also sang for me!!! OMG!!! I was so touched cuz I tot nobody remember it!!! Thanks CJ!! U r such a good koko in Pagesetters! I won't forgot urs! Haha.. That scene really stamp on my mind that whole night! It might be the most touching and memorable birthday song that I ever had!!! Mrs Fong even give me a kiss on my face! Haha.. So cute! Then the playful boss shout that he also want! hahaha.. that was so fun and cute! They are really really very nice!! I'm totally surprise that CJ remember cuz last time we were jsut discussing about birthday! Haha.. Thanks a lot! Pagesetters! You guys are super sweeet~~~ I shall go and visit u guys more~ :)

That was a tiring night but I'm super happy! Before I sleep that scene still on my mind! I was smiling before I sleep! Haha.. Before that when i think of it, I smiled at myself like a fool in MRT! OMG!! So paiseh!!! Haha..

Then, come to my birthday 16th August! I came back to M'sia this morning. Really early! so tiring.. Again! My mum got something on, so we waited for her like half and hours more! Then, still, the same thing, she's complaning my dad again! I was really sad cuz it's my birthday, can't u just give me a break? I really feel that I shouldn't come back man! Then go loitering around, (actually is go to temple to eat lunch which my mum help to cook), then finally can go PHYSIOTHERAPY!!! OMG!! My back pain like what man!! When I go there, everyone was so happy, cuz i always lighten their boring life there thru kacau them! I keep playing there and I was the last patient before they closed! Aiya, used to it already! My buddy won't mind la~ Haha.. Cuz I brought a lot of laughter to him also what!! haha.. Then before I go, he gave me to chocolate bars!! Haha.. Maybe is my birthday present!! So cute! Like treating a child! haha.. I was super happy!! :) I even took a photo of it! haha.. They are really nice there!! :)

Then me and my sis came back for dinner. My mum cooked nice dinner and ask my daddy's fren's family over and had dinner together! Although only three people + my ah ma, but better than nothing la.. But then, there was no cake and candles for me birthday.. My father went out for football match after the guest went home and my mum went out also with her frens to watch Ge tai! I was really disappointed man! I really shouldn't come back.. Although they said we will be celebrating 5 People's birthday together next week! I dun feel like going also, cuz even i'm there, they can't really see me.. I dun wan to celebrate with them.. Ok, I know there will be a celebration next week, but can't u just buy me a small little cake even only for me! They only know go hang out with frens.. My sis played computer games and my ah mah went to sleep. It's so dissappointing! I shall buy myself a little cake and celebrate myself! It would be totally different if today is my sis birthday! I totally dun feel like come back next week man!!

Ok, I shall stop it now! Otherwise would end up very miserable! Nvm.. I have love from my frens like u guys, colleagues from pagesetters, even though my physiotherapist, that should be enough! Thanks everyone for watever u do for me!! :)

Happy birthday - my dear friend.

2008-07-20T08:38:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday!! Cloud! today is your birthday.. Must post this before twelve! Haha..

Last week, I had a enjoyable week.. I finished my ComDA.. Although I feel release from stress, but I really had a good time there.. With Felix - the nice lecturer~ Haha.. He's so poor thing.. Everyone just take for granted, attend the class anytime! Totally got no sense of punctuality and time management! They wasted my time also!! So angry! But I have a good lecturer which make things simple and clearer.. haha.. But, I hate presentation man! hahaha...

Then, I was rushing for Cloudy's secret project.. rushed till 5am.. In the end, I got flu.. Maybe also the weather... Dun feel bad ok, Cloudy, not your fault.. Haha.. The next day, I feel like just bomb the sch print shop man!! That two aunties really cannot make it man!! Can you believe I stayed there for two hours more and only printed Three pieces of photo collages?!!!! OMG!! So angry man..

The next day, my flu was getting more serious.. I don't feel like go and consult a doctor there, but my sis insist! and she even sms my honey to drag me to clinic.. Haha.. ok la, pretty sweet la.. Hahaha.. Thanks my honey lexin and ah chan for accompany me to the clinic for two times! I'm sorry to disturb your project.. Haha.. See, that's the frenship! Haha.. They are so nice, but the doc sucks! He is super unprofessional! Consulted him for like 2 minutes! Keep talking rubbish! So pissed off!

Then, on friday, we prepared a surprise birthday celebration for Cloudy's 19th birthday!! Yeah!! We celebrate in Dhoby Ghaut! Hot tomato express.. the food was pretty nice, just the pork chop very hard to bite! Haha.. We took a lot of nice photo.. Cloud thought it was just a gathering, but when the waitress brought the cake, she was surprised!! Haha.. She was very happy, and that's what we all wanted to see! Haha.. We ate the cheese cake that Yi Ling chose! It was super ultra nice!! Omg!! I want to eat again!! Then everyone gave her the present they prepared. Then, the climax, we present her our "heart blood" Hahaha.. The secret book - project!! as expected, she read till she cried. OMG, that's so touch till Ah chan also cried! Dunno cry for what! Hahaha... But really we had a very good time there~ We are glad that she loves the book a lot! although some part still a bit cacat! haha.. Then we went to the exhibition that our classmates hold. We saw lots of lecturer there and ex-lecturer - Teng hong! Haha.. never had his class.. But it's very nice to meet him again! Haha..

Ok, last but not least! Happy birthday to my best fren - Siew yun! 19th already! Must be more matured! Wish you happy and healthy always, remember to share with us your everything, don't keep in your heart ok! We share problem together as we are best frens ever! all the best and we will always by your side~ :)

Finally.. New update~

2008-07-15T05:49:00.000-07:00

Hehe.. Ladies and gentlemen! Ah herm.. I'm terribly so sorry for never update my blog for such a long long time~ Hahaha.. But I was too busy and dunno what happen to my friendster blog! So I have decided to change! Haha..

Ok, some updates first. From 24th of March to 30th of May, I was having my memorable Student Internship Programme (SIP). It was a really fun experience for me! I have met a lot of nice people there, actually can said the whole company is a very friendly family kind of company! I was the youngest inside, so everyone treat me very well.. I've met my nice lady boss, Wai Han, funny boss, Mr Fong, my best friend there, C.J, nice jie jie, Sheryl, nice koko, Chang Chieh, Tong, Alvan, nice "uncle", Jonathan, Alvin, the print shop "uncle" and the nice cleaning aunty Kim. They treated me like their family member, the whole environment was just perfectly nice and I really enjoy a lot there~ Haha.. OK should stop it, my honey will surely kill me if i keep saying this~ Haha.. But it was really a wonderful experience for me le~ Haha..

Then I went to Hong Kong! It was really very tiring trip! But it was fun as I went to quite a lot place for sight-seeing, took tons of photossss, went to wonderful Disneyland!! and finally SHOPPING like crazy~ Haha.. It was so fun! Thanks to my jie jie, I'm able to get out of Singapore and see something different! But I hope to get out of Singapore again before my FYP ler~ Haha.. Ok, stop it, somebody like ah chan, quakie, nady, meowie they sure will kill me if i continue~ Haha.. But I bought u all present le~ That's the point ok! The souvenir that I gave u all really cost me a lot! But since we all are ULTIMATE BEST BEST FREINDSS! So nvm~ Haha..

Last week, I went to cycle with stick man, ah chan, quakie & dududududu.. It was so fun! But too bad meowie have to work! Haigh~ Or else sure very very fun! We went to visit meowie on her first day work.. Haha.. She was forced to put on make up and it's like a clown! Haha.. So sorry man, But not as bad as I imagine~ Still pretty as usual~ :) We go cycle, take pictures, talking ghost story in Mcdonald, tired like few corpses on bus 15 and met stick man's sister~ Haha.. It was so memorable and fun! We must go again, all of us! Nady! U better come next time oK!! Stop baking ur cakes!! Haha..

Then the next day, I went to Quakie working place with ah chan! We played inside the shop, slacking, playing, drawing and a lot more! So fun! I never work in a shop selling clothes before! It's so fun to play inside, somemore her boss not inside! haha.. Can play till we xiao~ In the end, three of us do nothing as predicted. Haha.. then suffer the next day lo~ All need to rush for our work~ Haigh~ But it was fun to play there~

Well, the last paragraph is for my M'sia friends which i dun really think u all will bother to read my blog. Well, I don't really wish to say this, but I found out that the gap in between us become bigger and bigger. I used to miss those days we gossip together, play and laugh together.. But, now, to me, u all seems like walking in front, and I m so far behind.. I dun understand what you all talking about, I dunno where r u going to study, I totally lost track of what you all doing now. What i want is just to concern my friends like what they r doing. What I want to know is just how r u all? Do u all need my help? But, I really felt so sad and sometimes even dun feel like going back to face u guys. I'm tired of maintaining our frenship myself.. I'm tired to be a fool.. I really felt that I'm so 一厢情愿.. Well, I understand this will happen one day since I step out from kluang. One day, we will seperate our way and chase our own dream. All I can do, it's just wishing u guys all the best to your future studies.. I hope that one day if we meet each other, we would not just passby like a stranger.. Cuz, we were such a group of good friends, once ago...

It's 2008! (02.02.2008)

2008-07-02T10:16:00.000-07:00

OMG! Just realize that long time nvr blog something here.. Although one month passed but still HAPPY NEW YEAR & HAPPY LUNAR CHINESE NEW YEAR! Haha.. So happy~~ I love Chinese new year!! ANG PAU!! I'm coming! Wahaha..

Recently lots of things happened and that really affect my mood.. Me & my sis already moved out from Yishun, the place which I stay for nearly two years.. It's a long story.. Nowadays, the rental are really too high.. We can't afford to rent whole flat.. In the end five of us seperate.. it's very sad.. I miss my "lao dou", "ah gong" & "ah tai".. Especially my "lao dou".. we stayed together for nearly two years.. I miss the days that we played together, cooked awful dinner, talk dirty jokes, play autotrimax, watch tv, watch crayon sin chan together, play PSP & so on.. The most memorable one must be my last birthday! It's so pity to seperate but one day we will seperate too.. Haha.. Thanks a lot for take good care of me.. "Ah gong",
ur noodle might be a bit horrible but it's really sweet to cook for me.. "ah tai" haha.. Ur new hairstyle nicer.. Haha.. "lao dou" thanks for allow me to "bomb" u! Haha.. It was a really beautiful memory in my life! Cheers~ T.T

Now, I'm staying with my 6th Aunt, her family n two CATS! They are quite cute la.. I mean their behaviour! Haha.. Really funny sometimes.. Now I'm nearer to Lexy.. I'm so sorry to Porky - My ULTIMATE BEST FRENS! That's also the other reason that I dun wanna leave Yishun! I like to take bus with porky n see how many times can she drop her hands.. Haha.. Talk rubbish! Now is nice also but when u think of take THREE busES to go home, really dun feel like go home man..

Well, there are something funny to share. I think everyone will laugh like hell.. Finally Latest Crayon Sin Chan Published! I'm so looking forward! It's supposed to be funny n happy comic rite.. But I cried terriblely yesterday when reading the comic! Haha.. OMG!! Ya, It's kind of sad that 松坂老师's lover 行田德郎医生died after a bomb attack.. It's so sad that I cried like hell while listening TVXQ's new song - Kissしたまま、さよなら. (A song which Micky & Hero composed - Talk about a guy who miss his beloved girlfren who is dead.) Very touching.. The song is kind of similiar to wat i read.. So sad.. I know it's funny to cry for crayon sin chan! But it's really touching! Haha..

Recently I'm falling in love with another KPOP group - Wonder Girls! Haha.. their song are really nice! Especially the special dance - Tell me - Super popular now in
KOREA! Haha..

SIP coming soon.. So nervous.. Thank god I finally found one after three interviews! Phew~ But not to worry Lexy, U will get one, Lynette will push u out in the end! U will meet nice ppl! I will pray hard for u! Hope can pass it!

K, should emo-ing! Must happy now! It's chinese new year!! Everyone, let's enjoy till the MAX ya~ HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! Enjoy~

Yeah!! Holidays AGAIN!! (28.11.2007)

2008-07-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

Wahahaha.. Super long~~~ Time din blog anything here! Yes! Just like my title of this blog (Cool down, i know some of u not as lucky as me.. Haha..) I HAVE MY HOLIDAYSS AGAIN!! YEah!!

This monday just finish my Packaging design.. Last thursday already finish info design.. Actuallu both also quite fun la.. At least i enjoy it but really can't tell rite!! Haha.. Cuz i keep complaining..

Finally holidays, but this holidays are not as relax as last time one.. cuz SIP coming soon.. We need to do our portfolio nicely during this holidays so that we can show it thru interview.. OMG! SIP sounds so scary!! I really dun wish to go man.. But tat's the thing that we need to face it.. I scared to face new ppl, new environment.. I scared nobody would like to employ me.. I scared.. There's lists of thing to scared! But that's the process.. I know i need to be brave! Jia you ba!

Erm.. And now, it's time to share something super duper good thing! Tell u wat.. My wish really come true!! I SAW TVXQ!!! OMG!! they are SUPER DUPER ULTRA HANDSOME la!! They are very tall and friendly.. But too bad i can't take too many pic as photography is prohibited there.. But i really wanna say, their live singing = EXCELLENT man! That's the 实力that made them so popular in ASIA! Till now i couldn't believe that I saw them.. Their dance super 齐.. But too bad U-know can't dance cuz he hurt his waist.. But he still dance a little bit la.. Haha.. That's really a WONDERFUL "TAT" night which is so unforgettable to me! They really very tall and their 舞蹈实力really very very good! Singing? 废话！Of cuz super Duper Nice la!! OMG!! I'm now totally addicted man! They r too handsome! Haha..

Today just went to watch HERO with my sis.. Erm.. It's a nice movie.. It brings me lots of memory.. Like bring me back to that time me n my sister watching the series of drama! Takuya Kimura's acting very nice.. He got his own style.. Erm.. So good.. I wanna watch the old series again man!! Haha..

Finally holidays.. Wat to do.. Exercise! Haha.. Swimming! I miss swimming now! Haigh.. tomorrow got SIP briefing.. So scary but still have to face it! Jia you ba.. lighten myself by reminding myself holidays coming soon! Kambateh kudasai!

Life is unpredictable.. (13.11.2007)

2008-07-02T10:14:00.000-07:00

Long time din blog anything here.. but i never tot that this is something about a bad thing happen on my best fren - sin sin!

Today, as usual, doing sketches.. wanna consult Pat but she said she got no time to consult.. Then i went to RJ paper factory with lexy, sinyee and Charmaine.. That was really a happy and wonderful trip with them.. they went there for their prepress assignment.. And me, at first is just like go and look look.. See whether they have any special paper to buy for my packaging.. But really unfortunate that those paper i like OUT OF STOCK! Haigh~ Always like this one..

Suddenly, I received a call from Mandy - my best fren in Kluang.. That was so weird and is like miracle man.. Cuz all of my Malaysia frens think that sending sms to SG is SUPER EXP(although is just twenty cents.. Well.. What can i say.. That's not the money problem.. Is that whether u sincerely want to keep i touch with ur frens to see whether they are still "ALIVE"! Sometimes really can't understand.. Thay can send those bo liao sms like N times but just spend twenty cents to me is like super EXP lo!) When i received that call i was like so happy! Cuz my fren finally contact me.. But out of my expectation - it wasn't a good thing. Mandy told me that my best fren sin sin's father just passed away.. I was like stunned there.. I totally shock and feel really really bad.. After that, i really got no mood to look at paper.. I stare at those paper but the whole brain is full of "it's impossible, too sudden.." but i still have to do assignment.. I'm really very sad to hear that.. I can't believe it..

Then i sms sin sin.. ask her not to take it so hard.. Be strong.. I guess that's wat i can do now.. cuz i can't go back.. I'm so sorry!

Well, life is so unpredictable.. Pls.. all my frens and family members, pls take good care of urself.. I dun want this to happen again.. recently there's lots of bad thing happen in my family.. My uncle just passed away in september.. and something bad happen too.. Now, there's another bad news! If that's the only reason that my Malaysia fren call me, I rather they forever dun call me in SG!

Here's some words to Sin Sin,

Dear fren, I know it's a really hard time for u now.. I understand how sad u r now.. But the Exam is just around the corner.. Pls do ur best during STPM.. Dun give up easily.. I guess everyone also think that way including uncle.. After STPM, dun straight away go to work.. That's not a good way to help ur family.. Go n study uni.. 半工半读.. 辛苦一点.. u just think that after u graduate, u can get better job with better pay, then u can help ur family.. Be strong ok? I know u can do it.. If u really need help no matter in wat way, come to me.. I will help u! Jia you and be strong! I'm looking forward to see a brand new sin sin, a mature and sensible gal.. Jia you and dun give up.. We will always by ur side.. That's wat frens meant to be...

Busy week just started.. (09.10.2007)

2008-07-02T10:13:00.000-07:00

OMG!! I just realize tat i long time didn't write something on my blog!! I'm so sorry! Cuz i just finished my quite bad holidays.. Haha..

This holidays really quite bad for me.. A lot of things happened.. But hope everyone around me including my frens and family memberss, pls do take good care of ur body! Nothing is better than health! But there's something good too! My cousin's wife just had an operation and she's recovering now.. Everything over! Hope she take care of herself~ 没事了~ Yeah! 'v'

October, sch started.. I tot i already study in Sg for one year more, so homesick shouldn't be happened to me! But i'm wrong!! After whole month helping my mum n always accompany my mum, when sch started suddenly need to leave home, i feel so sad.. one thing also feel tat my mummy is so poor thing.. as she's quite lonely, but i'm glad tat u found quite a lot of activity to fill up her life! The moment when i step on this new house in SG, I feel like crying.. Then after i called my mum, i finally cried!(Oh ya, i just shift my house, but still Yishun, just two bus stop away from where i stayed last time.. We moved to here on 22nd September which my frens having gathering! Wu.. It's a super tired day for me man!!!) Wat a useless gal ya! Haha..

Sch started, having Advertising and Expressive Illustration now.. I'm so stress as both of my lecturers r so strict! Haha.. I finally get Advertising! But y Ferdi again!!? OMG!! But it's all rite la.. At least he teach something.. Haha.. Si Y.. Erm.. nvr get before but i'm so scared of her as she's too demanding! Her expectation quite high! OMG~ How i'm going to survive!!!

The first week of sch reopen, our result out! My result, average.. I hope i can really do better! Or else really need to change course liao lo.. OMG!

During my last holidays, i've made a great decision! But can't tell u now! Only few of my frens knew this! Haha.. I will show u later in maybe my next post? Perhaps! Haha..

TVXQ going to Malaysia for 2nd live tour concert!!! I wanna go but dunno whether i can get the tickets or not.. Hope i can get it and go n see my dreamguysssss singing.. 见证什么叫做歌唱实力和舞蹈! Haha.. I LOVE TVXQ~~ Haha..

K la.. Stop talking nonsense! Haha.. Need to do my work la~ See ya in my next post~

To... (12.09.2007)

2008-07-02T10:11:00.000-07:00

星期五的清晨，一阵刺耳的电话响起，硬是把我从睡梦中拉醒。

这，不是一通普通的电话。

是一通让人伤心欲绝的电话。

一句：“大伯过世了！”让我从睡梦中惊醒，不敢相信自己所听到的。

匆匆忙忙，换了衣服，正要出门，才看见刚回家，伤心，失落，难过，疲累的爸爸。他几乎整晚没睡多少，在大伯家一直看着他所敬爱的大哥。从他说话的语气，爸爸他，哭过了...

虽然大伯的病，这几个月下来都每况愈下，但还是不能接受离别来得那么快。当下马上让我想起，瘦得如纸片人的奶奶，不知承受的来吗？这一直是我所担心的。

匆匆忙忙赶到大伯家，看见躺在床上冷冰冰的大伯，虽然跟他并不很亲，但依然一阵鼻酸涌上来。我告诉我自己绝不能在奶奶面前流泪。于是便躲在楼上偷偷哭泣。情绪稳定后，我的任务开始了- 陪着我那年事已高的奶奶。一整个早上，亲戚都来看看大伯。大家都哭得好凄凉。送得到大伯最后一程，只有他的长子。等其他孩子从新加坡赶来，大伯已是冷冰冰的了。这是谁也没办法压抑情绪，大哭了起来。

我，能做的只是一直陪在奶奶身边，照顾他，搀扶他。奶奶口中不停的说应该他先离开，但是奶奶，人生不就是这样，要经过生，老，病，死。大伯虽然离开了，但至少不会在痛苦下去。奶奶您一定要长命百岁。相信大伯他也不愿见到这样说话的您。

在大伯入棺时，大家都哭得好凄惨。我这辈子从来没见过我爸爸哭过，但是奶奶告诉我，大伯辞世时，爸爸是第一时间抱着她哭的人。我听了真的好心疼。虽然爸爸他从来不善于表达，但我知道他内心深处，真的很舍不得这个大哥。大伯不在，爸爸就是这家最大的儿子。我觉得爸爸似乎又肩负了更大的责任。

一连五天，我都在大伯的丧礼帮忙。姐姐也请了假，留下来送大伯最后一程。每天都忙得不可开交，因为大伯生前人缘好，光是花圈就有30几个。他也算是风光的离开人世。

终于到了出殡日，也是我最担心的日子。奶奶这几天只要看见大伯的遗容就哭得不能自己，出殡他一定更难受。其实奶奶没有我想象中脆弱，他还挺坚强的。只是出殡时，奶奶真的哭的好凄凉。爸爸因为工作走不开也无法送大伯一程。早上烧香时，看见父亲不舍的泪水，真的觉得好心疼。爸爸要了一张十几年前与大伯的旧照片，然后像宝似的收进口袋。然后默默地离开上班去。而我在大伯出殡时，握着奶奶的手，边哭边叫奶奶别哭。此时此刻，我真的好难受。好心疼奶奶年纪这么大了，还得经历这些。

这些日子来，从大伯辞世一直到安放灵位，我都陪在身边，默默地送我所敬爱的大伯一程，尽尽我做为侄女的责任。真的有感人生无常，昔日那个疼爱我们，说话中气十足的大伯，就在转眼间变成灰烬。所以珍惜每一个爱我们和我们爱的人。孝顺长辈。不要等到失去以后才说那句迟来的对不起及后悔自己没好好珍惜。一切都已来不及了。

再多的眼泪，

也换不回您的慈爱，

再多的不舍，

也无法改变您已离开我们的事实，

您的一切我们将会永记在心头，

这一辈子都不会忘记您。

一路好走，不要有牵挂，

愿您在天国，不再有痛苦。

致 : 我敬爱的大伯......

祝我生日快乐... (25.08.2007)

2008-07-02T10:10:00.002-07:00

生日快乐~我对自己说~蜡烛点了，寂寞亮了~ I like this song a lot.. Few years ago, my birthday was like that.. But this year, i'm so glad to have a group of good frens and housemate celebrate with me! Haha..

16th August 2007

The day of being a nineteen gal.. Erm, i tell myself it's time to grow up and think more mature.. Dun always like a kid like that.. A lot of things muz face it urself.. Although the way might b very tough but this is a test from god.. this a test for us to learn to grow up and overcome problem! Erm, I will be strong! I mean mentally ok, not physically~ Haha..

Today is my presentation day for P2, so nervous.. I know my things not nice, I will improve next time! So sad, think this time might get D! :(

But after that totally release from stress! I've got total 6 weeks holidaysss! Yeah! Finally! Then i went to celebrate my birthday with Le Xin, Siew Yun, Sin Yee, Yi Ling and Wai Sun?! Haha.. He very kind la.. Haha.. Thanks ya.. After having dinner with them, they actually plan to give me surprise but a chan accidentally talk something wrong.. Made me suspicious! haha.. Then i knew they have something on~ Haha.. They made a great mistake which is ask Sin Yee to bluff me.. Seriously, A chan is not a good actress! haha.. She wanna give me surprise but she lost her way, still need my help to go haagen daz! Haha.. That time she bluff me, I was thinking : 你在演啊！在演嘛! Haha.. Then wow, They treat me eat "fondue" (Dunno is it spell like that) 白话一点: The chocolate steamboat! Haha.. Nice! I appreciate a lot of their effort to make my birthday special and full of "surprise"..

Then i went home, my "family" going to celebrate with me! Which is my housemates! My jie jie, Jerry lao dou, Koh ah gong and Siong ah tai! Haha.. There's only two words to describe their celebration for me - Lame & Crazy! Haha.. We took our first family photo! Haha.. Pls refer to friendster! haha..

Thanks to my Malaysia frens too! Thanks for the effort come and celebrate with me! I really appreciate it! Thanks so much! I love u all!

In the end, i wanna say thanks to u all! Not only my frens but my family too! Thanks.. U all are the best gift that god gave me! I'm so lucky and 幸福! Thanks! I LOVE U ALL!!

Shh.. it's a SECRET! Haha.. (25.08.2007)

2008-07-02T10:10:00.001-07:00

15th of August 2007

The last day of being an eighteen years old girl.. Haha.. It's really memorable to me!

Today is my submission for P2.. For the sake of the stupid P2 I almost like one whole month not enough sleep! Especially the last few days near submission day, everyday like 4 or 5am just sleep! I really feel like dying man.. Haha.. I rush like hell but finally i done my thing! Yeah! Although not very nice la.. Haha..

Then after the busy afternoon, FINALLY I CAN ENJOY!! Me and my sister went to watch the movie that we wanted to watch desperately!! Secret - 不能说的秘密! Jay Chou's movie! Exciting~~

We went to AMK hub to watch our favourite movie! I'm so looking forward to it.. But in the end, ya, Jay Chou's talent really never let us down! He's really a great artist! 我真得很佩服他的多才多艺.. It's a very touching movie.. I cried in the cinema.. After that, 心情久久都不能平复.. 在还没看这部电影时，听到这首部不能说的秘密，好评如潮，让原本就是他的歌迷的我们更想去看！看完了，还慢舍不得的，还记得电影结束时，不能说的秘密这首歌一响起，更让我哭得像傻婆！Haha.. 在还没看电影之前听这首歌就觉得真的很好听！周杰伦不论在唱腔还是作曲都进步好多！他的歌越来越能感动人心了！好现象！好现象！Haha.. 这首歌其实应该在看完这部电影才听，才更能感受歌词的意境.. 感动-ing~

说到电影，其实息影我去看的是故事情节。就算不是周杰伦导的，都还是想看。拍摄手法，很棒。幽默感，很棒。服装，漂亮。场景，一级棒! Haha.. 路小雨与叶湘伦的爱情，很纯.. 是那种纯纯的爱。Which is 现在难见的爱情。最喜欢看里面的演员耍宝，笑到肚子痛。也超爱看周杰伦跟宇豪斗琴！超精彩的！好羡慕他们钢琴弹得好好哦！开始后悔当初干嘛那么爱玩，没好好练琴。这个假期，我要好好地练了!Haha..

我真的超爱这部电影的，推荐大家去看。剧情就不告诉你们了。因为---------- 这是不能说的.秘密！Haha...

20072007! (20.07.2007)

2008-07-02T10:09:00.000-07:00

Today is really a lovely day to me! I feel so happy man! haha.. Today is my best fren - Siew Yun's birthday! We gave her a surprise! haha.. Although it's so lame la.. Haha..

Erm, LE xin had made a very touching card for her. Even i read the card also feel like crying.. No wonder Siew Yun will cry! Pls do one for me on my birthday! Honey~~ Haha..

I'm so happy to be a part of setting this surprise to someone! Feel so exciting! Haha.. Also, bring happiness to someone is also a very wonderful things to me! I like to see ppl with happy face! haha..

SY is a very popular gal! She got a group of good frens! Today Deniese and Lynn print a T-shirt (today is my birthday) to her! It's so sweet! And i'm so happy for her!

Today i'm really very happy, mayb is also the last day for applied illustration la.. After submission feel like 1 quater of stone release from my shoulder.. (Actually i said 1 big stone, but Wendy said becuz we still have P2 so it's 1 quater!) Haha.. Lame~~ -_-"

This week, needless to say, another tiring week for me.. I got no enough sleep! But quite happy this block! Cuz i have more close frens! haha.. Like Wendy, Deniese, Lynn, Yi Ling, Clara and so on.. Haha.. Yeah!!

The coming month is P2 part 2. It's so stress! But i need to work hard! It's tough, but i should overcome it.. haha.. Just like what my Honey quote from a book - 态度决定一切! haha.. So.. Let's be more positive!

Xiao di.. Dun give up easily.. This time ur result not good doesn't mean that next time will be the same.. If u pay more effort u will get more! So, jia you ba! (<= so weird, the whole block everyone keep repeating Jia You this word! Haha..) Anyway, Everyone! Jia You!!

Happy birthday to Siew Yun!

Stressful week! (13.07.2007)

2008-07-02T10:08:00.000-07:00

It's been a very stressful week for me this week! I'm so stress for my P2 & also illustration class.. I think as the time goes by, i will become more stress! OMG! What should i do to destress??!

Not much different than last week, i'm still very tired! Even more tired than last week! Haha.. But it's ok! to reward myself, i buy myself another two CDs!! Haha..

I think all of us who's having P2 now are all stress! It's really a very tough project for us.. But it's also truth that global warming becoming more serious nowadays.. thru those research that i did for tis project, I understand more out global warming! It's so scary! Can u imagine that one day we might be the victim of natural disaster? and the one who cause the natural disaster are us!! So think well before u anyhow throw away those recyclable thing and also anyhow dirtied our environment! this is kind of torturing ourselves! Cause what u give to the environment, i think the enviroment will pay u double!! I might be to stress bout tis project until writing blog also talking bout this thing! But, Hey, THINK BOUT IT! IT'S TRUTH!!

I feel so moody these few days.. Ppl around me keep going holidays.. Finally back home still have to see my daddy's "pai kuan" and listen to my mum bout how angry she is! I feel like crying man.. I tot home is a place for me to relax and Stress FREE place for me! But still have to see this kind of scene! Kill me now, pls.. I just dun wanna see these happen in front of me! T.T

Alrite.. I need to be strong! try to forget all those thing.. so now i need to destress! Ok.. That's all.. It's time for me to enjoy music and relax! Haha..

Tiring.. Tiring.. Tiring.. (05.07.2007)

2008-07-02T10:07:00.000-07:00

Wow.. Long time never blog something on my blog.. Haha.. I wanna do so long time ago but dun get to do tat.. Cuz if i got time i rather go n sleep.. Feel dizzy recently..

Well, i'm having applied illustration and P2 at the same time.. I'm so stress.. For applied illustration, it's consider fun la.. As it's one of my favourite lecturer teaching this subject - Peggy! She's funny man.. Haha.. But for P2 it's really a big trouble for me as i dun even know wat should i do!!! It's about global warming.. Actually, after watching the video which Ferdi showed us, I really feel tat our earth going to die soon.. After some research, now only i realize tat's something very serious happened around us.. If we dun save our earth, who's going to save us?! Tat's also y i need to think something really can works to create awareness n it's also our project objective! After few session of this class i think i'm more concious bout this.. Whenever i'm going to throw something i will think twice.. I think it's good for me.. Haha.. Come on, friends, Let's save our environment!

Recently, to destress, i'm watching 换换爱.. Haha.. It's funny n interesting n i think i'm addicted to it.. Haha.. But dun worry, I'm still loving my TVXQ! Haha.. I like KPOP!! Haha.. I wanna learn Korean language.. Haha..

This two months might be a very hard time for us, but frens, let's gambatei.. Two months.. Not a very long time.. See, week 2 going to end soon! But i really hope tat my result won't disappoint my parents! Haha.. Let's gambatei kudasai! Fighting~

Moody~~ (14.06.2007)

2008-07-02T10:03:00.000-07:00

Wah.. Since i'm having holidays, long time never update my blog!! Haha.. Cuz i'm enjoying my holidays here!!

This holidays i supposed to help my cousin's wife to do some design works as usual.. But this season not a lot of things to do.. So, i decided to help my mummy bank in cheque and so on!! Haha.. Life quite enjoy there.. When i got nothing to do there i can watch my drama using my bf - Mr. toshiba!! Haha.. And listen to my songs~ Haha.. BTW Le Xin, I'm watching 溏心风暴 now!! I'm learning cantonese! And tell u wat Wong Chung Chak Super ultra leng zai ar!! Haha.. U muz find this kind of bf.. Haha.. Kame they all too far away!! Haha.. Still got language barrier. But u can speak cantonese with Wong Chung Chak woh! Haha.. (Dun bother me.. I'm juz dreaming! Haha..)

Today is my dear daddy birthday! Happy birthday to my old bean! Haha.. I did a card for him.. I drew him!! Haha.. It's funny but wheni secretly show my mum she said looks like him!! Haha..

Actually during this holidays, i'm not really happy.. cuz again, myself alone at home.. Even i'm at home still.... Talk to my best fren - Wall.. Sometimes i may be too emotional.. I cried secretly at home becuz of my parents problem.. Perhaps my frens would envy me for having freedom at home, i can do wat i like without brother and sister's disturb, buy the things that i need.. but u know wat.. all this need to pay.. I've pay up my kinship for all these! Frankly, i think this is a big deep wound in y heart which no one else will know wat i feel.. I have to Listen wat my parents complaining each other.. I'm scared that my daddy will make my mum angry and scolding each other.. I know both of u hate each other.. Everytime no matter is watching drama or even seeing those old couples holding each others' hand, do u know how sad i feel.. How desperate i wish my parents would be like that and i can have a happy family.. I know that's juz my own wishful thinking.. But wat i want is just that both of u can live together peacefully! Hey, my dear parents.. I wish that one day u all can sit down and think all over again.. do u know how much i suffer for these.. During my sec sch life, it was happy memory in sch but was a nightmare at home.. when my mum cried, i cried secretly.. i never tell all these to my sis although my mum would tell her.. We never discuss bout this cuz we know this is a big wound in our heart which we dun wanna touch it..

But all these experience made my thinking more matured than same age frens.. that day i juz talk all these to Siew Yun.. Thanks, Siew Yun.. U r really a good listener. Actually, tat day i cried secretly in front of my laptop.. Haha.. Without my mum's knowing although she's watching tv in the living room.. this 神功 is the result of the past few years practice.. Which i cried secretly without anyone know i cried before! Haha.. Dun worry.. I'm fine now..

Everything will be fine~~ I miss you guys man, Siew Yun, Le Xin and Sin Yee.. Haha.. I'm glad that u all working now.. gambateh neh.. I will always support u all!! See u guys while sch reopen! See ya~

Finally! I've got my lovely notebook! (04.06.2007)

2008-07-02T09:57:00.000-07:00

After few months of waiting, I finally got my NOTEBOOK!! Haha.. I bought in the PC Show which was held in Suntec City last thursday! There were A~LOT~OF~PPL that day.. Cuz ----- It's public holiday + first day of PC Show! It was very very packed!!! Haha.. Public holiday in SG r really terrible man! Full of "head" walking around if u see from far! Haha.. Funny~~~ -.-"

My baobei notebook is Toshiba one! I bought this brand as some "IT man" told me it is good.. not easy broke down! Haha.. Also it has window vista! The graphic is so damn good! Haha.. I use it to watch my TVXQ live concert! Haha.. (Promotion time : TVXQ r so good! TVXQ rocks! ;D) Actually i tend to buy Fujitsu lifebook.. That time i saw it online it's all perfect.. and i tot i would buy Fujitsu.. But in the end i went to the PC Show n saw the real one.. although it's slim but dunno it's the problem of window XP, the graphic didn't look as nice as my current notebook! Also, the whole design a bit "Baliak".. Haha.. In the end, I bought Toshiba.. Free one printer! Yeah! Can change my home's printer.. Our printer is like antique like that.. Print thing also very slow.. That day my sis wanna buy catridge for the printer at home.. But as i said, it's like an antique! Can't even find the catridge for it! Haha.. Funny~~ I wonder how can my daddy use it without throwing out his temper! Haha.. Nvm, Daddy, I brought u one printer! Haha...

As i've promised my Honey - Le Xin (Let me explain : one day, Le Xin get influence by the 赌场风云, and call me honey... We r not lesbian! We love handsome guysss.. Haha.. Juz like me! TVXQ! <= Sorry, i'm addicted to them! Haha.. Pls forgive me if there r any inconvenience! Haha) I will upload the photo of my bao bei! Ladies & gentlemen, let's welcome my new boyfren - Mr TOSHIBA!

Haha.. Cute ya! Also for the sake of my poor back.. Haha.. Aiyo.. Painful again! For almost two months never go for physiotherapy.. My back wanna start complain! Haha..

Yesterday, I find my daddy really very in! Haha.. U know wat? He watched youtube le!!! OMG!! Unbelievable!!! Haha.. But it's good for him to learn more about that!! Haha..

Ok, i've done my job.. Honey.. Did u see it? (Vomiting~~ I still love my TVXQ! >.@v)

Forgot to say : My lovely Micky in TVXQ! Happy Birthday! Haha..

P/S: This blog is written by using my new boyfriend - Mr Toshiba with all my dreamguysss inside!! Haha..

Thank you, Daddy! (24.05.2007)

2008-07-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

Today i received a super ultra good news for me! I'm damn happy man! Finally... MY DADDY GOING TO BUY ME A LAPTOP!!!!!!! It's all like dreaming! But, I still need to thank my daddy n also my sister cuz i've got no guts to tell my daddy n my sis helped me to do so.. Haha.. Thanks ya..

Today i'm so stress and so tired as I dun know whether my layout would be accepted by my lecturer! Haha.. I think i'm going mad soon.. ARH~~~

But, there r something not good happen on Siew Yun, her father sot again.. It's a long story.. But, Siew Yun, Dun worry, u have me by ur side.. U can share ur sadness with us.. I've experienced some sad memories before.. So i can understand ur feeling well.. So, if u feel tat u wanna share ur sadness u can find me any time even i'm in Malaysia! Cuz it's ur encouragement helped me pull thru Darkroom when i'm so depressed and cried..

Perhaps today is not a good day for my frens.. Sin Yee got flu today.. Hope she recover soon..

Anyway, I heard tat my Malaysia's frens going to have their exam soon.. Good luck ya, everyone! Also to Yih Rin, mayb u still not very familiar with this new environment but trust me, as time goes by u sure can find a good fren like me! See, I got three.. Haha.. If u face any problem can call me.. I will do my best to help u!

"It was a tiring day, but we still have time to take photo! This is called --- RELAX!! Haha.. "

Untitled.. (23.05.2007)

2008-07-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

Well.. Dunno wat to title tis post.. Haha.. Monday, i've finished my Japanese class.. I'm so 舍不得.. Cuz i think it was the class that i enjoyed myself most in TP! Haha.. I'm really passionate in learning new language especially language that i'm interested to! Haha.. After this class i'm so happy that when i'm watching youtube, those Japanese programme from TVXQ(Paiseh.. It's them AGAIN! Haha..) I can actually understand some of the words without the subtitled! Haha.. Yeah! That's also y i wanna learn Korean! Haha.. I was so enjoyed for the Jap class.. The lecturer were so nice.. Although the final presentation is to act a drama in Japanese Language! Haha.. My role was so funny, a 30 years old gal which her mother is so~ desperate to see her daughter get married! Haha.. I'm so glad that i've two good group mates who is really good and responsible! Haha.. Lucky~

Last week, actually i tend to talk to my daddy about buying me a laptop.. In the end, I din do tat.. I'm such a coward.. I even dreamed that my daddy rejected my request!! But thank god it juz a dream! Haha..
I've no courage to ask him man.. Cuz i've spent so much money on my stupid idiot back.. I feel so guilty.. But laptop i really need u! It's so inconvenient for me to travel all the way to sch (Yishun - Tampines!!) juz to use the com! Also, sometimes some lab will close for no reason! Shit!! I need u, i really need u, Dear LAPTOP! Haha..

These few days i think me and my sister might have something wrong! U know wat, for three days we've bought 7 TVXQ previous CDs & DVDs man!! Of cuz some r share money to buy.. Haha.. I think i'm really crazy for music! Once i step into a CD shop, i feel really happy although no CD to buy! Haha.. If i wanna do a part time job, i wish to work in a CD shops man.. That a paradise for me! Haha.. And so weird, S$22 dollars cloth i might consider for sometimes to see whether worth to buy or not, even i bought the clothing for S$20++ I will still feel very 心痛.. But u know wat, the normal price for a CD is about S$22.95.. I can buy two (Of cuz not same one) at one time without any hesitation! I think i've addicted to CDs! They r my 宝贝man.. U know wat, i think of something one day.. Very stupid.. I think that if my house get burn, i think the first thing to save are my CDsssss.. I know it sound stupid but i really can't live without them! Haha.. (Kids.. Do not learn from me.. U might be broke one day!) Haha.. But i declared, those money for CDss is my own saving.. I never ask my mum to buy one for me! Haha..

Although Jap class is over, but i still have to stress for the stupid Layout which make me stay back in SG juz scared tat i might not finish on time! But it's ok.. Le Xin, Siew Yun & Sin Yee.. Dun worry.. We can pull thru this.. No matter is layout or advertising.. After all these shit things we going to have our holidays.. no need to see this bloody sch for one month or perhaps three weeks.. Haha.. So, dun be stress and let gambateh kudasai.. Aza aza~ Fighting!

I finally found KPop Lover!!! (18.05.2007)

2008-07-02T09:48:00.000-07:00

Haha.. Juz like wat the title said, I finally found someone who loves KPOP too.. But i'm quite lucky, at least my sister also support KPOP!! Haha.. So, not only me who "xiao" for TVXQ hor~~ Haha..

Mayb these few days quite stress and moody so i decided to change the "SKIN" of my blog to more emo one.. although is same as Le Xin but i think this one suits me better!! T.T"

These few days i juz realize that a laptop really very important to me... Sometimes, the com lab of the sch not open or ppl using for class so can't find a com to do homework.. When i go back, i need to use laptop to do work, but my sis is watching her youtube!!! TVXQ! She's affected by me.. Haha.. also addicted!! Haha.. While she watching and u say u wanna use, she will feel very sienz.. Even i got the laptop to use, but i feel guilty also.. cuz the laptop is her only entertainment after work.. The TV programme is getting bad to worse.. And if my sis using laptop, i've nothing to do but to lye on bed.. Feel like wasting my time.. Haigh~ =.=" And now even worse, the TV in my house BROKE DOWN!!!!! Oh shit, which means my one and only entertainment also gone~~~ SHIT~~~~ Daddy, if u happen to see this, please buy me a laptop pls.. I really need it~~ Urgent!! Haha..

Today, went to Bugis with Sin Yee to buy her thumbdrive.. Today is also our sch CCN Day so we dun have class.. Haha.. Yeah! That's y i can come back early!! Haha.. Then after she bought the thumbdrive, we still had some time, so i went for a short shopping.. I've bought the coins purse for my convenience, and also the thing that i wanna buy long time ago - Buy my i-pod a "shirt" - Leather casing!! Haha.. Yeah!! v Although it's juz a short shopping but i'm already very happy with it.. Cuz tired for two months finally can go "Gai Gai" liao.. Haha..

Then i went for group discussion as monday we have role play for Japanese class! Wow~ So nervous man, need to memorize a lot! Haha.. but, i'm very lucky to have two good and responsible group mates.. Haha.. everything goes smoothly~ Haha.. After discussion, i found a lot of "treasures" in Jing Ting which is one of my group mates laptop! It's a lot of Korean Songs!! Yeah! Juz like wat i mentioned before, she's another KPOP LOVER!! Yeah! Although at start of Japanese class i already know this, but dunno she's also so crazy bout this!! Haha.. Finally there's someone support me!! Haha..

After that, i met Le Xin.. She said we can do our own batches! I'm so happy man.. Cuz i saw hers one very nice.. So before i go back i draw i few for myself and ask her to help me.. I'm so grateful to my GREATEST SUPPORTER OF MY BLOG - LE XIN!! Haha.. (See, I choose ur favourite green colour!) Haha..

Well, although i tot nothing to write at first, but i've talk a lot of rubbish now! Haha.. At last but not least, Gambateh kudasai for all my frens, especially my SG frens like Siew Yun, Sin Yee & Le Xin, I know recently u all r very stress, but juz do ur best, even the result may not b very good but at least u've do ur best and never regret to it! Gambateh ne! I will always by ur sides!

Wahaha~~ I love Japanese.. (11.05.2007)

2008-07-02T09:39:00.000-07:00

Although the title is like this, but deep in my heart i still love Korean!! Haha.. But, at least now i can speak and understand some Japanese words while watching Japanese Video!! (Haha.. Of Cuz is TVXQ!! In youtube!! Haha..)

Well, this week was quite tiring! I was damn nervous for my Japanese Presentation about washi! Haha.. Although i was able to finish my speech on time, but after that i really have no idea wat i was talking! OMG~~ But nvm, it's over! Then, i need to rush for another subject which is the Layout class.. The stupid illustrator at home really drive me crazy!! Cuz wat i did cannot save!! Xiao~ I'm going to die!! But, thank god till now all my thing still goes quite well.. Haha..

This month, another month for me to slim down!! No dinner for the whole month except weekend.. Haha.. Usually, i will eat some biscuits to fill my stomach!! Haha.. Poor stomach.. After this month i will treat u something good! (Wat a weird gal huh? Talk to her stomach! Haha..)

Erm.. Few days ago me, Le Xin and Sin Yee went to shoot photos of sculpture for our assignment.. Although halfway Sin Yee juz joined, cuz she had class in the morning.. It was a very tiring trip but i get to see lots of beautiful sculptures.. Haha.. And guess wat, we supposed to take the picture of sculpture.. But, do u think the photomania like us would let off this good chance to take photo? Haha.. Ya, we took some photos together.. Haha.. Another good memory for me.. Tat day i almost broke as i've bought two CDs, Cyndi & TVXW 5 in the black.. But dun feel pain!! Haha.. So weird le, if the money is spend for CDs, I can even die of hunger and never feel pain in my heart!! Haha.. Mayb music is really my obsession! Haha..

Erm.. I think the exam coming also for my frens in Malaysia rite? Gambateh kudasai! I know it's tough but u all r so smart and good at these thing, so i know u all can do well..

Quotes from Siew Yun:

People who give up often don't know how close they are to success when they give up!

I find this very useful and this sentence really give me the strength to move forward! Thanks ya, Siew Yun! Haha.. It's a very useful strength for me to continue my dark room.. Although i stressed untill i cry.. But that time i really realized that i how lucky i m to have 3 really good and truth friends by my side who shares the toughness with me and comfort me when i cried and feel down! Thanks ya! I love u all! Haha.. >.@v

Haha.. The first picture is the prove of our frenship! Sweet ya! Haha.. I will cherish this 4ever!

Japanese class sugoi desu ne~ (04.05.2007)

2008-07-02T09:38:00.000-07:00

Konbanwa.. Hajimemashite.. Watashiwa Khai Xin desu. Dozo yoroshiku oneigaishimasu.. Haha.. Dun get it? I think most of my SG frens like 2 SY, Le Xin would laugh at me!! Haha.. They r so pro man.. It's juz a simple introduction of myself that i've learned this week.. Haha..

My Japanese class is quite fun actually.. But the time of the class is like bloody hell!! 6pm to 9pm.. Walao!! Night class!! Make me end up like this --- Friday nite singing:Lonely~ I'm so lonely~ I've nobody~ Accompany me!! Haha.. and writing a blog to record wat i did this week!! Haha..

I'm totally addicted with KPop man.. Especially TVXW songs!! Which my sis also addicted to it!! Haha.. They so powerful huh~ Haha.. I like Korean but it's really hard to learn cuz few days ago i went to Kinokuniya and saw the Korean language guide book, the pronunciation so weird and hard to read.. But i'm still wanna learn! Perhaps most of the ppl would think Korean language is like shouting or fighting with someone, but when i listen to the Korean songs, I find it so beautiful~ It's so sad and touch me! I love it.. I like Korean Language and culture and also Japanese! But my sch din offer Korean culture!! Haha..Too bad..

Japanese Language is easier than Korean.. Cuz usually listen to Japanese songs for few times i manage to sing it out, but Korean songs need to listen more times juz can sing it out.. (of cuz out of tune.. My poor family member and housemates... Haha.. I love It!!

Today is Yih Rin's Birthday!(Happy birthday ya.. Hope u enjoy ur day and enjoy ur poly life soon)!! Haha.. I heard that we going to have a gathering tomoro to celebrate her birthday.. I'm so exciting and looking forward to it.. But too bad, tomoro nite i'm going to have dinner wif my relatives who all come back for Mother's day!! I wish to see u guys but i'm so sorry.. I can hardly see my dearest cousins and i think my old bean won't be happy if i din attend.. So sorry to Yih Rin.. I dun mean it but i really can't make it!!

This week was quite tiring and becuz of this good timing, i miss my DINNER!! Haha.. I've not ate my dinner for one whole week.. Haha.. Cuz i ate lunch at 3pm, it's impossible for me to eat dinner at 5pm!! BY the time i reach home was already 10pm and i'm so tired that i dun feel like eating something very heavy.. So, i juz ate some snack like bread, cake or even tibits!! Haha.. Dun worry, I'm still healthy!! Haha..

Anyway, no matter how tough it is, I have to pull thru it.. I know all of us can do it, and i know i can do it too! Gambateh kudasai.. Ja ne~(Bye~)

I LOVE TVXQ!!! Haha...

Junior Year!! (30.04.2007)

2008-07-02T09:34:00.001-07:00

Wow, time flies! Today is my first day for my junior year which is year two.. It's a quite tiring day for me anyway! Haha..

This month i'm having layout and design which is something quite interesting to me, and the subject that i'm so looking forward to it --- Japanese Culture! Actually i wanna learn Korean one, but too bad my sch dun have.. But next time if i have chance i would like to learn it! Both languages are my favourite! Haha.. Actually, to me, learn more language is another advantage la.. I've learned little little words while watching Japanese Drama and Korean Drama.. So, those little little and easy words i still can understand.. Haha..

Perhaps i'm really addicted to Korean Music and Jpop! OMG, I'm really addicted to TVXQ 东方神起! Haha.. But, dun think that they r the main reason that i like Korean language hor!! I know most of u would think that but i'm not, i juz like their culture and language juz like Japanese. I find that both of these languages' song can really touch the one who listen to it. Although i dun understand what is it about, but the music and the way the singer present can really made me cry for certain piece of song! (OMG, I'm really a 爱哭鬼man!! Haha..)

Wu... My sis is enjoying herself in Pulau Redang.. I wish i can follow her!! I need to travel around to relax myself!! Haha.. Hey, My secondary sch mates!! We haven't go for our graduate tour man.. Never mind, i dun mind to join the STPM graduate tour!! Haha.. But u all muz wait for me!! Haha.. Or else next time we can really hardly gather again... :(

Erm, well... Junior year already, really have to work very hard.. I dun wish to disappoint anyone around me.. And.. I really need a laptop!! Old Bean Old Bean!! Can u buy me a laptop?? Why such a simple sentence can easily type here but so hard to shout it out!! Arh~~ Actually i dun wish to waste their money already, cuz my family really spend a lot for my 医药费.. I felt so guilty that didn't take good care of myself.. And my back... Haigh... Then, wat to do?! Erm, juz wait for the very little chance to strike lottery!! Haha..

To my secondary schmates, the MUET test juz over, i hope all of u did it well.. This year is the last year for u! But it haven't come to an end, it would be a new start to u all.. Dun be afraid of wat u r doing, if u think it's good and right, juz go for it.. Put in more effort and u will get wat u deserve! For Yih Rin, hope u enjoy ur Poly life.. Dun afraid of new things.. Juz try it out and make more frens.. it really helps in ur poly life! Let gambateh together~

舍不得... (20.04.2007)

2008-07-02T09:26:00.000-07:00

Erm.. Time flies~~ Today is my last day to be a freshmen in TP!! I'm going to be the junior which is second year student in this coming semester..

As usual, today is friday so i come back to Kluang.. But dunno y, when i going home that's a very weird feeling.. I suddenly feel so 舍不得.. haha.. although i sitll have two years to go! Haha..

Time really flies~ Look back to the past, there's really a lot of memorable thing happen in my 1st year TP life! I laughed there, cried there, suffered there and so on.. I even have my birthday surprise there! Haha..

There's a lot of memorable time in TP.. Like the basic photo and color class which i lost my mp3 player that time, first marketing class(went there like a fool, not knowing wat to do!), VSC project 1 + comDI which made me so busy n stress, figure drawing which i really enjoy my time there and the space & form + darkroom process class(I cried as i'm too stress that i couldn't get good prints)which juz finished today! there's a lot of memories in TP.. And i should say i really enjoy TP life!

Juz like what i said juz now, today is the last day for space & form and also darkroom.. Although these subjects grabbed my holidays but i'm quite enjoyed as i met two good lecturers - Ingrid and Chee Yong! Haha.. They r really friendly and funny! Haha.. I really enjoy their class although it's stress.. And i've learned something from both of them! I think this is also one of the reason that made me feel 舍不得.. Perhaps this would be the last time for me to step in the darkroom and "smell" the fixer!! Haha..

Finally, i have one week holidays.. Although it's juz one week but really very precious to me.. As i wish, i can really have a good rest! Finally man! Haha..

One year already~~ My frens in SG, Siew Yun, Sin Yee and Le Xin! We've know each other for one year and we've pull thru all the obstacles in front of us! Yeah!! I'm really so glad and happy to know u all.. Although i'm always unlucky, but i think the god still treat me very well as HE gave me such a group of good frens which we can share happiness and toughness together! Haha..

We going to be year two.. Frens, have a good rest this week and let's Gambeteh for our next coming semester!

Tiring Week + Month!!! (07.04.2007)

2008-07-01T11:34:00.001-07:00

As wat i predict when this block started, it's really a VERY VERY tiring block for me!! Oh my god, it's really too tiring!! I really need a rest urgently!!

I'm doing darkroom process and space and form this month! It's like a nightmare for me.. Although both lecturer r friendly, (sometimes find that Ingrid quite strict! Haha.. But she's kind to ppl who listen to her,do her work n not late for class!! And the most important is that i'm one of them! Haha..) but these two subjects crushed together would really drive me crazy!!! ARH~~~

But i found another good lecturer in TP which i really respect him truly.. My darkroom process lecturer. He's a very talented photographer and he shares his experience with us.. He also taught us a lot by telling us some stories.. I've learned something from him.. And he's very funny anyway!! Haha.. There r a lot more lecturer i like in TP like Lillie, Peggy, Richard, Yongkin + Ernest(cuz both of them give me A, Haha... Kidding!)and so on... Thanks to them, I've learned something from them.. Haha..

Actually i quite like photography, but wat i dun like is that i need to rush and take photo.. This is kinda stress man.. Also, I'm so scared to be reject, but i know as a designer i need to learn to face the critism from other.. This is also wat i learned while doing part time work in my cousin's wife printing press.. Haha.. So, dun scared to be reject, juz do wat u like.. Haha.. But we still need to refer wat feedback that ppl give us no matter is good or bad..

Thanks to these tiring and busy day, my back seems like getting bad to worse.. Everyday, my back shouting to me, "Khai Xin, help me, i can't take it anymore.. I'm so pain!!" I'm really suffering man.. That day, due to the air-con(if too cold, my back also can't tahan! Haha..)and the heavy rain(rheumatism), my back pain like hell.. My legs were numb("I become so numb~" <=that's not funny~ very cold! ~.~") that i can't walk properly.. I even feel pain when i YAWN!! That's serious man.. So, i took the medicine.. and now it's alrite.. Today went for my physiotherapy, the doctor said i need to 放血!! Omg, I did once on my back last time, it's damn painful la~~ I tot he's juz kidding, but he really did that on my shoulder as he said it's getting bad to worse.. Haha.. But then it's not really pain la.. i still can take it!! And now a large "o-ce" on both of my shoulder.. Haha.. It looks funny but quite pain now.. Haha..

Another good news to share, after that day being force by my mum to drive and fetch my sis, I finally overcome my fears!! I can drive now!! Even my own!! Haha.. But i'm still quite scared la.. haha..while i'm driving i like to listen to TVSQ's(I like them so much!!!)songs!!! Their song r damn nice!! Mayb u all won't agree with me but i'm Kpop lover.. Haha.. and i think they r really talented singers as i can really feel the feeling the put into the song. I like them!! Haha..

Anyway, thank god there's Le Xin same class with me.. We can stress together.. Haha.. Also thanks to Siew Yun and Sin Yee for helping me although we r not in the same class..

Hey girls, let's continue fighting with this block.. another two weeks to go!! I believe that we can pull thru this!!! Gambateh kudasai~

Zoo Trip!! (26.03.2007)

2008-07-01T11:33:00.001-07:00

Finally, we break the curse!! We went to Zoo today! Ya, it's free as Siew Yun's Aunty's company can get the free tickets for four of us!

It's really a very tiring trip for me.. Although it's tiring, but it would be one of the good memory that I have with my best frens in Singapore, Siew Yun, Le Xin and Sin Yee!! Hahaha.. But i know the memory will fill with tired... hot... sleepy... thirsty... and... Haha..

Erm, although i went for Zoo(not Singapore Zoo only, but other country one like Malaysia and Australia) for quite a lot of time, but still, there're surprises and different experience each time i visit.. haha.. Singapore Zoo, i went there before but it's very long time before! Haha.. Today i also learned more about animals.. Like elephant poo can actually boiled and blah blah blah(Process) to process as elephant dung paper.. Polar bear eat 15kg meat, 1.5kg rice, 500gm pallets, 1.5kg cooked carrot 5 fishes, and 6 apples a day! OMG, that's a lot man.. No wonder it is so big size!! Haha.. And i know some new animals too, like babirusa(erm, dunno is it the deer mistaken the pig as his wife and "accidentally" come out the babirusa, or both of them drunk that nite! Haha.. Kidding only!! Haha..)and a lot more special animals!

But actually, to me, the first thing i think of zoo is the special SMELL!! OMG, damn smelly~~ But it's really fun.. cuz a lot of cute cute animals there!! Haha.. It also bring back the memory that i have in Australia Zoo!! Haha..

Although this coming block will bring me a lot of challenges and i might busy n tired till dying, but nvm.. Juz one month! I can pull thru this!! Haha.. Hope i'm still alive after this block! Haha..

Frens, feel free to go to Zoo again, i can promise u, it's totally different feeling compare to the past.. Juz to share my zoo trip today with u all~~ Haha.. I know all of my Malaysia frens r having a small test! Good luck everyone! Let gambateh together! Cheers~

My Holidaysss... Gone~~ (21.03.2007)

2008-07-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

Today, I heard a very bad news from Wai Sun,(Which i think he must b one of the staff in TP! Cuz he knows everything!! haha..) which is next block.. we supposed to have one month holidays, but suddenly our timetable add on subjects for us on that month!!!! Oh no!!! My holidayss~~ somemore i have two modules next month!! Two r equally stress.. I'm dying man..

Due to this "GREAT~" news, all our plan gone.. We plan to go Zoo, go swimming, go shopping n mayb sentosa, and le xin siew yun and sin yee they wanna do part time job all gone!!! But, fortunately, we juz plan like this.. Not to other country, or else i might burn the sch!! (Haha.. Kidding only.. Dun b so serious... Juz a way for me to show how angry i m.. Haha..)

Erm, mayb Singapore Zoo is really a curse for us.. We keep saying wanna go to zoo together for 1 year already.. Finally, we can go but suddenly we have class.. Oh no.. I really feel very bad.. Haigh~~

Few days ago, i have a nightmare.. The nightmare is something like this situation too! I din check my timetable properly then last minutes everyone holidays but i still need to go for class.. To make sure, that morning when i woke up, i check my printed old timetable(NOT THE LATEST ONE).. Still said, Phew~ thank god i have holidays n it's juz a nightmare!! But... SHIT!!! Now it comes true already.. Then two days ago i have a nightmare that i hurt my leg and i was in the hopital.. Will it come true also?! >.<"

I find that my school is too irresponsible.. At least they muz inform us like two months or one month before.. So that we won't plan anything for the "holidays" and also won't b so sad now.. Haigh~ See, those ppl who already bought air ticket for holidays, what they're going to do? The school pay us back the money we lost? See, this is y i said they're irresponsible.. If they inform us earlier, those ppl can avoid losing money.. Haigh~ So frusfrated!

Actually, cuz the holidays coming soon, i'm quite happy with it.. now, i become moody again! Haigh~~ I need few months efforts juz can turn myself from moody mode to happier mode.. Now, it's straight away turn me off.. haigh~~ Spoilt my whole day mood.. I really need a good rest esspecially after VSC P1 part 1 and 2 and comDI.. These few months i m too tired and i can hardly have good quality sleep.. Seems like i have nightmare everyday..

Well, although it's not a good experience but at least i learned something.. Next time we better plan our holidays DURING our holidays.. Haha.. Also, that two subjects although it's all quite stress subject, but i still need to pass it.. So, let be strong n brave to face our next challege!! Gambateh neh!

So Touch~~ (15.03.2007)

2008-07-01T11:31:00.000-07:00

Erm.. Yesterday.. I finally finished reading Hana kimi comic.. And i think u all won't believe it.. I cried while reading the COMIC!! Oh my god, what happen!! I know most of u can't believe it!! Haha.. But i really cried for the ending!!

I'm so envy of Rui Xi.. Not that she has a handsome boyfren..(Haha.. it's also one of the reason la.. Haha..) She has so many frens who love her and care about her.. Till now i still can't remove the last few scene from my mind.. When she going back to US, all her senior and junior and also her frens gather together juz to send her! I'm so touch!! If i have such a group of frens i think i will b very very happy~ Haha.. Erm.. I think this can b count as my favourite comic.. but it's manga.. My favourite still Crayon Sin Chan!!! Haha..

Well, I'm still doing figure drawing.. It's really fun!! I've learned more about drawing!! And i finally realize how tough as a model to let people draw!! Haha.. But i'm still quite weak in drawing~ Erm, muz pratice more~~ Haha..

Recently, I fell in love in another group!! TVSQ!! 东方神起.. I guess u all know who r they.. They r really popular in anywhere!! It's a Korean group.. Dunno y, seems like i love Kpop very much!! Haha.. There r quite a lot of Korean artist that i appreciate.. TVSQ, Shinhwa, Rain, Howl, Kim Jeong Hoon... I like TVSQ not only their handsome outlook but also their dance!! I'm so impressed!! They r really good!! Shinhwa also.. These two group r good in dancing and also singing!! Their singing, i can say at least better that some other group in Taiwan who dun even know how to sing!! (of cuz not 5566.. their singing r really good!! haha..) Although sometimes dun really understand what they r singing but at least i can feel that they put in effort and their feeling.. cuz sometimes i feel very touch while listening.. Wow.. That's very good~ I support those who r good in singing.. Like Tank!! Haha.. His song really nice although he's not handsome!! Haha.. And a lot more!!! Haha..

I think i'm really crazy for music~ Yeah!! Can't imagine the world without any music!!! Haha..

Well, i'm going to have my holidays soon.. One month!! Yeah!! but first week i will go zoo and somewhere else wif Le Xin, Siew Yun and Sin Yee!! Yeah!! Finally we can go!! I'm so looking forward.. Actually i plan to go other country in this coming holidays.. but unfortunately my mum not free~~ Haigh~~

Ok.. Juz wanna share something wif my friendss.. Kambateh everyone! Hope u all r always fine!!

Chinese New Year over soon.. (28.02.2007)

2008-07-01T11:26:00.000-07:00

Wow~ Chinese new year over soon! Erm.. it's time for me to count how much i get this year! Haha..

Well, this year new year, i'm quite disappointed with it.. Although i'm looking forward for so long.. Chinese New Year meant to gather everyone in the family & frens and chat happily.. But a lot of quarrel and unhappy things happened in this new year.. And i'm really so disappointed..

But, at least i managed to meet all my frens and my form teacher.. I'm glad that most of u attend the 團拜but there're still some of them can't attend or dun wan to attend.. Haigh~ Again.. little bit disappointed..

I really wanna declare here.. All my frens! No matter frens in my home town or frens in Singapore! I'm truly want to be a good fren to u all.. a fren that can share everything with u all.. If anyone of u have problem can tell me.. I'll try my best to help u all.. I promise! Especially my Singapore frens.. I mean those who r very close with me.. I'm so glad to know u all.. Yesterday, when i was bored, i played the cd u all gave me as a birthday present, i played the hp video clip which u all record for me in the library.. Till now i'm still touch!! Cuz i suddenly realize something.. U all r so important.. I know u all for juz few months almost one year.. It's not very long time but can't say it's short period too.. Even we know each other for juz few months u all can sacrifice ur precious sleeping time and starve juz to give me a birthday surprise! From that day, I promised to myself.. I will try my best to be good to u all.. I want to share my good things with u all and a lot more.. U all r really precious to me.. I hope that i din disappoint any of u.. Sometimes, I dun ask what happen to u doesn't mean that i dun care.. I care for u, i respect ur feel so i dun wan to ask.. I understand that perhaps u might have ur own problem that may not wish to share with me.. So.. Wat i can do is juz stay beside u QUIETLY! We r not frens who juz laugh together and not sharing ur problem.. U r welcome to tell me about ur problem..

I hope that someone can understand what i'm talking about.. and i know when u read it u will understand.. Hope that we can still maintain the frenship forever.. I really cherish the friendship with not only someone but also everyone! Cheer up! (I know i'm not suitable to say so cuz myself still in moody mood.. T_T)

I can't afford to lose any of u! I have my own problem too.. juz that i dun wan to make the atmosphere too "cold".. I dun wish to see any of my frens not happy! Hope that someone will understand me!

Oh ya, I'm doing figure drawing now.. it's fun cuz i like to draw human.. but quite stress too cuz my drawing not very good.. Haha..

At last but not least, Hope that everyone beside me will be happy and healthy always~ This is also a wish that i always pray to god! Haha.. And i still have to say it before new year end...

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!

Moody.. ~.~" (06.02.2007)

2008-07-01T11:25:00.000-07:00

Haigh~ Dunno wat happen to me.. These few days feel so down.. Quite moody~ Mayb i'm too tired! Haha..

But there's something to delight me! HANA KIMI!! I like Wu Zun~~ He's so cute n handsome~~(sorry, I can't control myself.. Haha..) Ya, he's cute n handsome but there r a lot more artist i like!! Haha.. Too greedy? No.. Juz to appreciate hs guy~ Haha.. Dun think i'm so 肤浅la.. I also admire their singing or acting.. Not only the "cover".. Haha.. >.<

Erm.. mayb these few days keep reading 许玮伦's news and made me feel so sad for her~ Haigh~ Wat a pity for such a talented gal.. Ya, perhaps they r rite.. She's an angel.. She came to the world bring us happiness and teached us to cherish ppl around us when she left.. Hope she live a happy life in another world...

This month i'm quite free~ Phew~ At least not like last month.. Busy like hell.. but still very stress.. This month i'm still having VSC Project 1 but is part 2 of it.. We r going to do a box art which is something like fine art.. We r going to put something inside the box n the title is about obsession!! Haha.. Ppl who knew me sure will know wat i'm obsesses for.. Haha.. Handsome guy!? Haha.. Wanna do that but too 肤浅! Haha.. No la.. Actually i'm really obsesses for music.. But music is so~~ wide.. so i choose classical music.. Haha.. Can't link me with classical music rite?! That's so classy but i'm not.. Haha.. I juz like to listen to it as it really calm me n i really enjoy it! Haha.. Well, looking forward to see the outcome! Haha..

Oh~ Chinese New Year coming soon! "ANG PAU" i'm coming~ Haha.. Dun run~ I need money~ Haha.. No la.. CNY again~ That's the most looking forward festival for me! Cuz it's a chance for me to meet all my relatives and cousin!! Yeah~ Haha.. And also my frens.. Looking forward to see u all! Hope we can go 团拜again! Haha..

See ya...

Everything is unpredictable... (28.01.2007)

2008-07-01T11:24:00.000-07:00

Finally, i get out from the busy life.. tend to have a good rest in this weekend.. but, i heard a really bad news from the taiwan showbiz.. 许玮伦was dead after a serious accident! I was really shocked!

That's really horrible! It's really unpredictable.. Till now i still can't believe it! Oh my god! Although i'm not her fans, but dunno y, i feel very sad for her.. She was such a good and kind hearted gal.. And she's juz 28 years old! I still think of she can recover but now she's dead..

Reading the news, i cried... Before this i'm already quite moody which i mentioned in my last blog.. but now, when i read the news, i cried.. Wat a pity!(I'm a gal who can cry easily.. Eventhough the one who's dead not related to me.. Haha.. Weird?! Ya.. Perhaps..) Perhaps this is also one way for me to spread out my moody feel these few months.. Again, the fault of sad songs.. Especially Lihom's Finally.. I knew it's an old song but i like it very much.. Haha..

After reading the news, I suddenly feel that everything is too unpredictable.. We should cherish everyone around us.. Wat u wana do, go for it.. dun regret it after death.. From now on, I will cherish everyone beside me, no matter u r my beloved family, frens. Even a stranger, i will try to help u if u need help! Haha..

(Thanks to 许玮伦.. I've learned a lot.. Hope u rest in peace in another world and have a good and long life in ur next life!)

Hey everyone, everything is so unpredictable.. mind ur safety! Let's cherish everyone around us.. kambateh neh!

Finally~ It's over.. (27.01.2007)

2008-07-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

Yeah!! Finally, it's over..

This month, really a very busy month for me.. I can say i worked like hell and NON-STOP! This month i'm having VSC project 1 and Comdi.. These two subjects crushed and made me mad!! I slept for less than 5 hours every day.. the last day even worse.. only 3 hours.. but better than nothing.. haha.. In the end, I'm SICK!!! Not feeling well..

Apologize to my best fren Mandy, I wish to go to ur party, but pls forgive me.. I'm too tired n not feeling well.. And the most important i have no time to buy present for u! Sorry..

I dunno y! Again, i'm in depress mood again.. Dunno what happen to me! Juz feel like wanna cry.. haigh~ Moody.. Mayb influence by sad song AGAIN!! Haigh~ Wat a weird gal!

But no matter how, I will still try to b happy~ at least my "cover" should show the happy part and not to worry anyone! Haha..

Nothing is better than happy! So, be happy!

Cheers, frens!

Stress!!! (13.01.2007)

2008-07-01T11:22:00.000-07:00

This month i think i should say it's the Busiest month for me since i study in TP! OMG, i'm so stress! I dun even know wat should i do.. I can't sleep well and i have no time to sleep. Haigh~ Hope to get over soon!

BTW, last month, 28th of December 2006, my brother went back oredi! Feel so empty! But i really had a good time and great holidays! Thanks to my koko! And that time we witness the flood in KLG! But now, 13 of January 2007, klg flood like hell.. I've took some photos while i went to buy my precious bus ticket to go back to Singapore! The day before, when i came back to klg, it's was flooded anyway! And JB also flooded like sea! So the bus had to take another way to go! And everyone took the same road cuz the serious traffic jam! Can u believe it! I took 6.30pm bus and i reached Klg about 10pm!! Usually i took one and half hour to come back, but now i took twice the time!! It was a terrible day for me! It kept raining, non-stop for two days! Trust me, it's NON-STOP! I feel so sorry for those victims of this disaster! Yesterday, I was so scared that i dun hae any transport to go back! Tuesday i still have two presentation! How? But luckyly, the rain stop! Whew~ haha..

Although everyday so busy, but i still know how to entertain myself --- Kacau my "lao dou" - Jerry!! haha.. That day i was so confused about what design company name i should put in my name card, then the stupid 'JELLY' said, "GUGU & DOLLS"... -.-" Hahahahahaahahah.. I laugh like hell!! Haha.. what a stupid n weird name n i should say if i would use the name i will b the dolls not GUGU!! GUGU is JERRY!! haha.. Anyway, i've got a good name. CREALEGANT = Creative and Elegant! which i should credit to my sis.. that's her idea! haha..

Although my life r so busy, but still, i will treasure it n try to "appreciate" it.. (I said i will try, pls dun let me "appreciate" this kind of life for every month!haha..) Kambateh together!

Cheers!

Hihi~~ (13.12.2006)

2008-07-01T11:17:00.002-07:00

Wow.. Long time din post something in my blog.. Miss ya my blog.. Haha.. I'm having my great HOLIDAYSSSS!! Yeah!!Haha..

This month I'm having my one month holidays which is a really happy month for me.. This holidays i manage to go for some exercise like my favourite sport - Swimming!! Haha.. I miss swimming so much... And i know how to swim butterfly~ Wow~ Haha.. But still can't finish 1 lap.. Haigh~ Actually not only swiming.. I like to try any other sport.. Dunno y juz like to play more sport~ Haha..

Finally, my dear brother is back!! Yeah~ so happy.. not only for his present, Ok? He's my brother wat.. Of coz i miss him~ Haha.. Another 'kaki' accompany to go for exercise~ Yeah~~

Last month I've had a great day with my beloved secondary sch frenss.. finally~ Haha.. Tat day was Lao Da's birthday.. We really had a great fun!! Haha.. Busy taking photo.. talk lame joke.. Kacau ppl! haha.. feels like in secondary sch again!! Haha.. Well guys, I'm so happy to have u all by my side.. I will always remember u all.. Hope u all dun forget me o! Haha.. Also for my Poly's frenss!! I'm so glad to have u all by my side..

To all my frens,

Let's cheers for our frenship~ Yeah!

一升的眼泪One liter of tears.. (20.11.2006)

2008-07-01T11:17:00.001-07:00

一升的眼泪 One liter of tears.. a japanese drama.. really touching and made me cry from start till the end.. That's the best japanese drama that i ever watched.

This story is about a girl who suffer from a weird and uncurable disease called 脊髓小脑变性症. This is a real story.. Very touch.. That girl called aya, who was a basketball player before. She lived in a happy family. When she discovered that she suffered from this disease, she was 15 years old. This was a great impact to her as this disease will make her cannot walk, talk, swallow food properly, coma then... death! That's really cruel for such a young girl.

This story really happened in Japan. From this drama i've learned about this disease. This is a drama to encourage people do not give up. After watching this drama, i've think a lot. Really, i learned a lot from this.. but i think i almost 流了半公升的眼泪.. Haha..

Frens, if u have time, try to get this drama n watch. U will learn more about life from this drama.. haha.. Time is precious. So, we muz cherish wat we have now n also cherish everyone beside u.. haha..

Juz to share this drama wif u all.. hope u all will take some time to watch.. Haha.. Kambateh neh!

Ooo~ Wat a busy life!! (09.11.2006)

2008-07-01T11:11:00.000-07:00

Wow.. It's block 7 now!! Next month which is 25th November.. I finally have my holidayssss until 1st of January!!! Yeah!!

Another good news for me n my family!! My brother coming back on 13 Dec!! Yeah!! I miss him so much.. n his PRESENTSS... hahah... :p

Erm, This month i'm having Digital essential and Culture & Expression! For Digital essential, the lecturer is so nice.. So fast he can remember most of our names.. Haha.. He's a very friendly lecturer in TP (including Lillie n Peggy!! Yeah!!). Actually all of our lecturer in TP r very friendly n helpful!! Haha.. But, the DE lecturer is too easy going!! Student late for 1 hour he dun care n still smile.. Hahah.. Wow~ Haha.. The only thing that all of us agree is that his teaching speed is getting higher n higher!! Sometimes u even haven't watch clearly wat he has click, he already done the work!! Wow~ So fast!! haha.. So, we have to use our memory to take down 1st then juz put all this in my note book!! Haha..

For culture and expression, most of our tutorial were done online.. I've learned a lot from this few sessions.. Although everytime have to rush n think until die for the tutorial n assignment.. Haha.. But every class we can watch documentary movie.. I've learned to observe ppl's expression, something about Vienam war... I've learned a lot.. although all of us always cold n starve until our stomach held live concert!! Haha..

Erm.. That's all.. Next time juz share my life wif u all!! :p

Suntec City Trip! (27.10.2006)

2008-07-01T11:10:00.000-07:00

These few days keep doing my digital imaging work... busy until forgot to eat my breakfast, lunch n even dinner!! Oh my god! Design school, indeed, a good place for slimming.. Can't imaging how to survive next month as i have two subjects during that month.. Haha..

Well, this Hari Raya holiday, i went to Suntec City to shoot some pictures for my assignment.. Although my aim was for assignment, but i 顺便 became a tourist and visit some famous place in Singapore! Haha.. The victim with me, needless to say, Le Xin again! (Cuz Siew Yun Not free.. Too Bad.. But last week we went to City Hall for assignment too... But in the end our photo more than assignment photo! haha.. Like tourists.. also a happy day~ Haha..)

First, we went to Suntec City, the fountain of wealth.. That's very beautiful.. I love the fountain very much.. Haha.. then we went to "window shopping" cuz we have no money! Haha.. But we really saw a lot of beautiful things.. That's also VSC's work.. Observe more beautiful things to inspire us come out with more good design.. Haha.. Wat a good excuse for shopping huh! haha..

Then, we went to Marina Square n also Esplanade as Le Xin's assignment needs that photo.. (This month dunno went to Esplanade n City Hall for how many times!!!) Of course we took a lot of photossss... Haha.. wat a good memory~ Then we went to VIVO CITY! The new shopping complex in Harbourfront. Wow~ it's so beautiful.. I like the Sky park.. But tat day too many people.. next time I wanna go again!Haha~ Wait for me ya, VIVO CITY!

But, In Singapore, holidays dun go out.. cuz that day we went out.. There were a lot of peoplesssssssss... So crowded~ haha.. Next time better stay at home sleep! Haha~

Well, the City Hall trip n the Suntec Trip, both r good memory to me~ I'm so happy to have Le Xin n Siew Yun with me... Haha.. thanks ya~ Frens~ But that few days were damn tired lo~ lolz~

These few days we r too stress for DI~ To anyone who read this: Always relax n Be happy~ :p

Feel lost... (23.10.2006)

2008-07-01T10:10:00.000-07:00

Dun ask me why.. I dunno wat happen.. The distance between me n my beloved secondary frens seems like becoming longer n longer... I dunno why.. I just feel like that.. Perhaps they will say dun think too much.. But for me.. I really feel like that.. Long time din see them.. I'm so tired to be the one to maintain.. Maybe we r in the different environment so we have a distance between us.. unlike before.. Really feel quite lost ya..

But i know, this is one of the procedure to grow up.. yup.. we will seperate 1 day.. it's just i experience this earlier than u all.. well, although i feel like that.. but guys.. i really treat u all truly.. Hope u all will understand.. Frens, for me, is forever~ Especially such a group of best frens in SSAJ! I'll never forget the days in SSAJ!

Hey, frens~ I won't forget u all.. Although i feel quite lost, but i'm sure this feeling will leave me soon.. (Perhaps these few days being influence by the Sad Korean Songs.. Made me think negatively.. Haha..) I'll be fine! Be strong ya! Haha.. Kambateh neh~

Yeah! I've my own blog! (12.10.2006)

2008-07-01T09:04:00.000-07:00

Hmmm.. Ladies n gentlemen.. Attention please... I'm here to announce that I finally have my own blog... Yeah.. haha.. Wow... I really can't believe it.. haha..
I think this will b a good way to keep in touch with my frens.. This may b a good way for them to update about how's my life.. haha..
Well.. Let's talk about today's lesson.. this month is an elective block.. Digital imaging.. Wow.. It's really a subject that all of us like it very much.. Photoshop is juz too fun n incredibles.. Haha.. U can do lots of effect with photoshop.. Today is the submission day for assignment 1.. Movie poster.. We'll b the star.. Sounds good rite.. Although i really stress out for this assignment but I'm actually having a great fun.. Next time i can do 1 with my favourite artist.. Hehe.. Haha..
Although it's fun.. but, assignment 2 is coming.. really a big headache for me.. still a interesting project.. but I'm sure I'll b stress.. Nvm, everything should b all rite.. 套一句微笑PASTA的经典台词：只要笑一笑，没什么事情过不了！Haha.. Jia You n smile :) Not only for me, is for everyone who read this.. Haha... :p