Sigh...

I know start a post with this kind of title is kind of sad la, but recently really feel so down... I duno why, but i just dun feel like come back to M'sia home. Probably a lot of things happens here.. Sigh..

Firstly, my cousin matters which makes everyone in super sian look! then my ah mah keep walking here and there and sigh~ Seriously dunno what she wants man! I already told her so many times that dun bother my cousin matters, he is almost 40 years old, u sigh here and there, nothing help to his bloody huge debt la! But she never listen at all. And becuz of her SIGH~ SIGH~ SIGH~, everyone dun feel like go home man! My mum keep going out, just dun wan to see her sighing~ My father finally exploded that day and tell her the same thing i told her! Hahaha.. He also buetahan liao! hahaha.. Then even my sis, the super fillial and homesick ppl also dun feel like go home le! Me? I'm worse, cuz I have to face a lot of pressure! Go home listen to my ah mah blabber how pathetic my cousin is, then listen to my mum how Kanasai my father is, then listen to my father unreasonable scolding.. Sigh~ Can someone save me pls!!!!! Why they are so unfair! Why they never treat my sis that way!!!!! SIGH~ That friday I reached Kluang, My mum and my cousin went to somewhere praying, so I went to my dad's office, not knowing whether he wants to fetch me home. My uncle said he rode motorcycle so can't fetch me! I suddenly felt so lost man~

I dunno what's my value in this family, why everytime I come back, I m just like a ball, nobody wan to fetch me back? I called my mum she said she is not free, wan to cook, ask my dad fetch me, then I sms my dad, what he replied? "Maybe late jogging" Go jogging also dun wan to fetch me. I remember once i told my mum, when one of u free just come and fetch me la, I walk around first. i seriously cried on the bus! I really dunno why I m still sitting on the bus heading to my hometown, I really felt like get down the bus and go back to Singapore immediately! In the end of cuz my mum came to fetch me, but as what I expected, the whole journey full of complaints of my father. I'm sicked of hearing all these!!

I'm tired to take bus all the way home, just like last two days, after I came back, what I heard are all complaints and complaints~ Sometimes I really do think that why I can't have a normal family! As in all in strong family bonding? Did I do anything wrong? What I SUPPOSED to know nobody inform me. What I DUN have to know, u complaint to me all the time? What U wan me to do? I'm tired! U all have no idea what I had experienced during my sec sch time! I even think of what if I die, what would u all do? Would u two get together again or divorce? U know how hard I gone through those days and do u know that how I hate to remember those days?! It's was nightmare! totally nightmare!!!!

I really dunno what can i do? I dunno, just feel like dun wan to come back, but sure kena my sis scold. Sigh~ I dunno what else I can do. When I tell my dad I need a BRAIN scan, he told me to go General hospital find doctor, WHAT FOR go for specialist? YES! If I got my own money, even my funeral I will pay for myself! if my own daughter need something like this, no matter how poor I m, I will work till I die and send her to the Best Specialist! But what u do to me? I know I'm uselesss! Always get into this kind of troubles, but it's not like I want! I felt guilty to use the money too! I dun wan to come back, I get stab everytime I come back. I dunno how many times I get hurt but I really dun feel like coming back to a so called Home to me!

Sigh~ I'm feeling so down man~ Sigh~ Ok la! It's time to stop now! After I throw out so many things here I felt better now! Ok, now I'm brand new hee-haw! hahahahaa.. So, concentrate on your FYP pls Hee-haw! But before that celebrate and enjoy a lot with honey dew, monkey, meowie and Princess Slutini which we miss a lot! It's ok to enjoy for that! hahahaha! (excuse excuse~)