Yeah yeah!! it's over! now still left the presentation part which I dun really care! Hahah! Just think of go in and anyhow crap! hahah!
Oh ya! forgot! My apologize! Really long time never update already! but seriously I was busy like hell for the past few weeks! But thank god it's over! I manage to done all my stuff on time but with the bad quality of cuz! hahah!
Well, these few days were really relaxing~ Although after I done my stuff I dun really feel happy but I feel relief. Unhappy perhaps due to my lousy works. I know I will kena shoot like dunno how. But I dun really care now, as long as I pass! hahah!
Just like what I read le xin blog, yes! i'm gonna thanks all of those ppl who assisted me to do this mission impossible! I promised her we must put this into our future album. Hahah!
To my dear honey dewy - Le Xin! Thanks so much for teaching me to draw different perspectives! And sometimes even draw for me although u already struggling for ur project! Really thanks so much! I will remember those days we do our works in McDonalds, spying what ppl talking about, eating our favourite McDonalds' Breakfast, drawing like mad, sharing ur disgusting dreams, sit from breakfast to lunch and so on! Really so memorable! And till the final stage, we stayed in the com lab with chan chan and nady, singing and dancing like mad, form a shinee girls, singing shinee's song and TVXQ's Mirotic, take cab together~ Really, it will be the most memorable memory. I'm sorry if i did something that make u angry, and also thanks for tolerate my bad temper! :)
To my dear chan chan - Sin Yee! Thanks so much for all ur help. All ur encourage words and email really helped me to move forward! Thanks for always organize outing like morning Ponyo's movie! Oh man! that was my first time watching movie so early! hahah! But it was nice! I will remember those days we went to ur house, go shopping together, go printing and help each other and also everything happened in the com lab! Really that last few weeks I was stress but really enjoyed! Thanks for accompany me to be mad girl and sing and dance in com lab! Thanks for almost everyday gather shinee girls in MSN or Skype, practise singing, sharing videos! If that few nights without those video, I really fell asleep liao! Hahah! Then, so sorry if my bad temper affects u! I can't tolerate my own bad temper too! hahah! And thanks for all ur help during this FYP! I'm sorry if my mounting skill spoilt ur things! :p
To my darling cloudy - Siew Yun! Although we were in the same class, but really looks like i dun see u that often! hahah! Well, u r really the hardworking girl who always make me so stress, but this kind of stress actually help to move forward! thanks! Thanks my dear for always tolerate my bad temper and comfort me when I think i'm way behind the final line. Thanks for ur encouraging SMS and email! Although we dun see each other that often during that period but I know u were really stress! Well, just wan to tell u, next time if u work outside, dun have to give urself too much stress ok! U must know how to destress! I still remember that day u cried in front of me! really shock me man! but i know what i can do is not stopping u from crying, cuz i know u are release all ur stress! do hang out more with all of us! u see! Shinee girls dun even feel stress! everyday happy like what! hahah! Thanks so much for all ur encouragement! Although U might deny, but I tell u seriously ur work is nice! dun always claim that it's not! U must be confident to ur own work ok! :)
To my dear master - Nadia! Thanks nady for ur very first treat to me, the pillow snack! It really tastes good! Well, dun feel bad to borrow money from me! I know U are broke for those printing and binding, I understand that's y I m happy to help! All those snacks I treated u were the ENCOURAGEMENT to u! Cuz I know, nothing else can give u energy except FOOD! Hahahah! That's y I buy food for u! During those days U were in India, we really missed u and worried for u! But it was so memorable that everyday log on to ur blog and see whether u update anything. Then also about ur love story there la! hahah! Thanks for always tolerate my bad temper and also tolerate SHINee girls awful singing and dancing in that room! We dun mean to irritate u, just wan to relax, that's our way to destress! hahah! But I should say, ur work really superb! I'm so glad to be ur pet man! With u in our gang we really feel so proud! We have talented photographer, talented illustrators (Lexin and Siewyun), and talented ENTERTAINERS (Chan Chan And Me la! hahah!) Oh ya, still got talented maid wai sun! hahah! I'm very happy to be in this group! :)
Well, Mr Chan Wai Sun, sorry ar, no dear hor! hahah! But I should really thank u for tolerate my bad temper, always pei he all our funny ideas, and also willing to be our maid! hahah! thanks so much la~ :)
Then, I should thanks to my cousin's wife who is called Evelyn too! hahah! Thanks for her help, without her help I can't print my book out! and also AZMIR! Although u can't see! But Thanks so much for helping me adjust the alignment one by one! Really thanks a lot! :)
Then, thanks to the aunties in the print shop, Fanny jie jie and Sharon Aunty! Although the other one doesn't help much and sometimes spoilt my things, but nvm, still thanks to her! Really thanks for their help if not i think I really can die man! Their bloody boss should really give them OT fee la! tsk!
Also, need to thank Sandy, the classic binder boss! hahah! Thanks for her patient and also her professional help! Next time if I go I will bring u coke! :)
And not to forget, Thanks to my family, my jie jie, mummy, 6th aunt for sewing the pouch for me, my jiu mu for sewing the table cloth and bag for me and my wan neng daddy for doing the box and measure for the bag! Thanks to my jie jie for sewing the five stones and tolerate all my bad temper! Really thanks a lot! :)
OK! Damn long! But I forgot to tell u guys who is Shinee Girls! Hahah! Shinee girls was form like few weeks ago by me, le xin and Sin yee! Cloudy still waiting for audition, but i guess she can totally join us la! Hahah! We sang more korean songs la! Hahah! Oh ya! ah chan and lexy thanks for so ren zhen learning korean songs! Now seems like everyone is obsessed with Kpop, Shinee and TVXQ! Hahah! See! Now U guys should know why I like hor?! hahah!
OK! I NEED TO DECLARE HERE! AHERM! CHAN SIN YEE AND WONG LE XIN! LONG TIME AGO I'M TVXQ'S FANS! LEXY U SAID U LIKE U-KNOW SINCE 2005 DOESN'T COUNT CUZ U DIN BUY THEIR ALBUM! HAHA! I WENT TO THEIR CONCERT AND BOUGHT ALMOST ALL THEIR ALBUM! I NEED TO DECLARE THIS, CHANG MIN IS MINE! XIAH IS MY SECONDARY SO CANNOT SNATCH WITH ME TOO! THEN I GUESS U GUYS WON'T SNATCH MIN HO FROM SHINEE WITH ME, NOT TO WORRY.
Just in case u watch the hua yang nan zi, I NEED TO DECLARE THE KIM HYUN JOONG WHO ACT AS YUN JI HU IS MINE TOO! Hahahah! Dun ever snatch with me! Hahaha! must declare first just in case! hahah! Omg! Hua Yang nan zi really nice to watch!
Ok, gotto go and watch my drama and later TVXQ session and also shinee session! hahah! So busy! :)
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Very odd wonderful day!
HAHAHAHA! You should be wondering why is it a very odd wonderful day! Ok! I dunno the reason too! Probably i'm getting more and more negative as I was before! Shit man! I dun wan to but I think when someone is growing older, u will start to think more, isn't it? Before that we were a pure and innocent kid, but as we grow out we experienced different problems and that cause us to think more and sometimes think too much! Hahaha..
OK!OK! Stop it! This should be a happy post! Well, Let's back to the topic! Today, I SUPPOSED to wake up at 9am and tell myself, do something to consult, but dunno kena curse or what, 9am woke up, but very tired then keep lying and sleeping till 11am! SHIT! SHIT! I was like gave up already! Ok, not consulting, and I totally too relax! Haha.. Then went to sch and have lunch with honey dewy! I found that "oh, today is TP open house ar? I think I won't realize that if i din step into the sch!" Hahah! Then i was waiting for honey dewy in a room, but then i met cloudy first. Then honey dewy came, we chat, ate our lunch and do our work. Then we shift to another room and continue the same activities! Nady only came for the DAIM chocolate then stay in library alone! (TSK! SO ANTI-SOCIAL!) Hahaha! Then I did two pages in the classroom which i think is a good progress already man! Better than nothing rite?! Hahaha! Think this way really feel better man! Hahah..
Then, me and lexy went to white sand for dinner as my aunt not cooking today! Then we chose Wan zai to have our dinner cuz those pic really too attractive! OMG! WE TOTALLY ENJOYED THE DINNER LIKE WHAT! That honey dewy dunno Hmmm~ Hmmm~ How many times! We two keep commentting how nice the food is during the dinner and finish everything! Seriously everything!!! OMG MAN! SUCH A ENJOYABLE DINNER! After that we walked out to take bus back, the breezy wind outside really make us feel so good! Then we walked to the bus waiting area happily discussing will u hold ur father's hand with finger cross! (Ok, that sounds gross to me, but we really saw an uncle, holding hands with a gal who looked like his daughter! Not kid ok! Is already teenager! walao!) Then without waiting too long like less than 2 minutes, the bus came! wah! Really damn lucky! I keep telling lexy, something wrong! can't be this lucky! What's the catch? OMG! really so scared! Then the whole journey only took us like 10 minutes! Wah! So early reach home? I was telling lexy would we step on dog shit when we alight? We can't be so lucky! What's the catch? Hahahahah!
Then when i reach home, my aunt got some left over CHEESECAKES from another aunt! WALAO WEI! WAHT HAPPEN TODAY MAN! hahahaha! Can't believe i'm so lucky! and totally so happy! And till 12am, nothing bad happen to me! Whoa!!! So good! Ok! this will be my wonderful day!
Yes, that might be small little things to u! Actually, what I wan to say, happy or not is we, ourselves to decide! To me, if today is a nice weather I will feel happy too! Cuz I'm a too negative thinker(although not in front of u guys la!) but then I told myself I should find something to make myself happy! We are human being so we can control whether we wan to laugh or cry! If I'm sad I will cry it out, keep it yourself is not healthy too! So, to me, to watch a nice singing or dancing performance, bought a new cd, went movie or shopping with my frens(well, as long as with my frens), or even a nice weather will make me happy! Of cuz music affect me the most la! So I choose to listen more upbeat songs which makes me feel happier!
FYP is really sickening man! Everyone is damn stress now! I'm stress too! Scared I can't finish, but I know, if i'm not in good mood i can't draw something good! So, the most important thing, find something that can make u happy before u face all those shitty stuff! Remember this ok!
_____________________________________________________
Ok, bad things now! Above is my odd wonderful day! Below is negative one! Hahah! Pls be informed!
Although is so bad to say this, but recently, I really getting more and more fed up with my bloody sis! I really can't tahan her anymore man! She is getting more and more annoying and irritating! OMG! Pls man, NTU! accept me or i will fly off to australia! I should live alone! Everytime she go home first or i stay in the room alone i feel damn happy la! I dunno what's wrong! Just that I find her very annoying! A lot of habits i can't tahan! And she just did it to me! Everyweek go home she will ask me to bring something back, saying that her bag very heavy and full! HER HEAD LA! If hers one is heavy, then I mine is what? Walao! U dunno I got back problem is it? Still everyday act nice in front of others! At home u rather watch TVXQ's concert like thousand times than help me to clean the house! I'm really sick of being a maid man! All her job is just act cute in front of my mum which i really feel like puke everytime! Last time she said she dislike my brother, but when he came back last time, keep fighting and act cute in front of him! Walao wei! totally buay tahan man! U know how old u r or not? Even my dad also get fed up ok! almost 27 years old still jumping here and there! Walao! I knew my father would say that! Hahaha! I think that's the reason why ppl said I looked older, cuz i really dun like to 撒娇in front of my parents! I just felt disgusted especially seeing somebody always do these! I told myself!! NONONONONONONO!!! Never ever do that man! OMG! Super long story! I confess she is nice as a sister but she can be damn irritating too!
Ok should stop it man! If i were to write about her, seriously, i need to write very long man! and I guess u guys won't believe it and thought that I just want to grab more attention! Pls! I tell u! NO! TOTALLY! I asked myself! I CAN LIVE ALONE! As i was ALWAYS alone during sec sch days! So well trained already, I already told myself, my job is only to be fillial to my parents and THAT's IT! Sometimes really thinking whether they understand me! They thought they know me, but pls! NO! Totally not! It's really tiring, that's what i can say. Perhaps I understand now why my dad suddenly react that way to my mum, probably like me and my sis, cannot take it too many things of her! Really family matter, sigh, one day when i'm free, I can write a damn long post about it man! sigh~
Sigh, no time to bother all that! CONCENTRATE ON FYP PLS!!!!! Ok! Should stop it! Find something to cheer u up ok!! Yes!! Music!! Yes!! My favourite! Ok! So happy can go home alone again tmr and enjoy music all the way! That's also why I like to go home! cuz can listen to them for few hours! Hahaha! Yeah!!!! OK! See ya in next post! Jia You everyone!!!
(Ps. Lexy, I know u will say ur "roomate" worse! Yes! I agree! She is ULTIMATE LEVEL! cannot compare! If compare to ur "roomate" my sis is not too good though, but at least much better than that lunatic roomate! Hahahahaha!) :p
OK!OK! Stop it! This should be a happy post! Well, Let's back to the topic! Today, I SUPPOSED to wake up at 9am and tell myself, do something to consult, but dunno kena curse or what, 9am woke up, but very tired then keep lying and sleeping till 11am! SHIT! SHIT! I was like gave up already! Ok, not consulting, and I totally too relax! Haha.. Then went to sch and have lunch with honey dewy! I found that "oh, today is TP open house ar? I think I won't realize that if i din step into the sch!" Hahah! Then i was waiting for honey dewy in a room, but then i met cloudy first. Then honey dewy came, we chat, ate our lunch and do our work. Then we shift to another room and continue the same activities! Nady only came for the DAIM chocolate then stay in library alone! (TSK! SO ANTI-SOCIAL!) Hahaha! Then I did two pages in the classroom which i think is a good progress already man! Better than nothing rite?! Hahaha! Think this way really feel better man! Hahah..
Then, me and lexy went to white sand for dinner as my aunt not cooking today! Then we chose Wan zai to have our dinner cuz those pic really too attractive! OMG! WE TOTALLY ENJOYED THE DINNER LIKE WHAT! That honey dewy dunno Hmmm~ Hmmm~ How many times! We two keep commentting how nice the food is during the dinner and finish everything! Seriously everything!!! OMG MAN! SUCH A ENJOYABLE DINNER! After that we walked out to take bus back, the breezy wind outside really make us feel so good! Then we walked to the bus waiting area happily discussing will u hold ur father's hand with finger cross! (Ok, that sounds gross to me, but we really saw an uncle, holding hands with a gal who looked like his daughter! Not kid ok! Is already teenager! walao!) Then without waiting too long like less than 2 minutes, the bus came! wah! Really damn lucky! I keep telling lexy, something wrong! can't be this lucky! What's the catch? OMG! really so scared! Then the whole journey only took us like 10 minutes! Wah! So early reach home? I was telling lexy would we step on dog shit when we alight? We can't be so lucky! What's the catch? Hahahahah!
Then when i reach home, my aunt got some left over CHEESECAKES from another aunt! WALAO WEI! WAHT HAPPEN TODAY MAN! hahahaha! Can't believe i'm so lucky! and totally so happy! And till 12am, nothing bad happen to me! Whoa!!! So good! Ok! this will be my wonderful day!
Yes, that might be small little things to u! Actually, what I wan to say, happy or not is we, ourselves to decide! To me, if today is a nice weather I will feel happy too! Cuz I'm a too negative thinker(although not in front of u guys la!) but then I told myself I should find something to make myself happy! We are human being so we can control whether we wan to laugh or cry! If I'm sad I will cry it out, keep it yourself is not healthy too! So, to me, to watch a nice singing or dancing performance, bought a new cd, went movie or shopping with my frens(well, as long as with my frens), or even a nice weather will make me happy! Of cuz music affect me the most la! So I choose to listen more upbeat songs which makes me feel happier!
FYP is really sickening man! Everyone is damn stress now! I'm stress too! Scared I can't finish, but I know, if i'm not in good mood i can't draw something good! So, the most important thing, find something that can make u happy before u face all those shitty stuff! Remember this ok!
_____________________________________________________
Ok, bad things now! Above is my odd wonderful day! Below is negative one! Hahah! Pls be informed!
Although is so bad to say this, but recently, I really getting more and more fed up with my bloody sis! I really can't tahan her anymore man! She is getting more and more annoying and irritating! OMG! Pls man, NTU! accept me or i will fly off to australia! I should live alone! Everytime she go home first or i stay in the room alone i feel damn happy la! I dunno what's wrong! Just that I find her very annoying! A lot of habits i can't tahan! And she just did it to me! Everyweek go home she will ask me to bring something back, saying that her bag very heavy and full! HER HEAD LA! If hers one is heavy, then I mine is what? Walao! U dunno I got back problem is it? Still everyday act nice in front of others! At home u rather watch TVXQ's concert like thousand times than help me to clean the house! I'm really sick of being a maid man! All her job is just act cute in front of my mum which i really feel like puke everytime! Last time she said she dislike my brother, but when he came back last time, keep fighting and act cute in front of him! Walao wei! totally buay tahan man! U know how old u r or not? Even my dad also get fed up ok! almost 27 years old still jumping here and there! Walao! I knew my father would say that! Hahaha! I think that's the reason why ppl said I looked older, cuz i really dun like to 撒娇in front of my parents! I just felt disgusted especially seeing somebody always do these! I told myself!! NONONONONONONO!!! Never ever do that man! OMG! Super long story! I confess she is nice as a sister but she can be damn irritating too!
Ok should stop it man! If i were to write about her, seriously, i need to write very long man! and I guess u guys won't believe it and thought that I just want to grab more attention! Pls! I tell u! NO! TOTALLY! I asked myself! I CAN LIVE ALONE! As i was ALWAYS alone during sec sch days! So well trained already, I already told myself, my job is only to be fillial to my parents and THAT's IT! Sometimes really thinking whether they understand me! They thought they know me, but pls! NO! Totally not! It's really tiring, that's what i can say. Perhaps I understand now why my dad suddenly react that way to my mum, probably like me and my sis, cannot take it too many things of her! Really family matter, sigh, one day when i'm free, I can write a damn long post about it man! sigh~
Sigh, no time to bother all that! CONCENTRATE ON FYP PLS!!!!! Ok! Should stop it! Find something to cheer u up ok!! Yes!! Music!! Yes!! My favourite! Ok! So happy can go home alone again tmr and enjoy music all the way! That's also why I like to go home! cuz can listen to them for few hours! Hahaha! Yeah!!!! OK! See ya in next post! Jia You everyone!!!
(Ps. Lexy, I know u will say ur "roomate" worse! Yes! I agree! She is ULTIMATE LEVEL! cannot compare! If compare to ur "roomate" my sis is not too good though, but at least much better than that lunatic roomate! Hahahahaha!) :p
Friday, January 2, 2009
Happy 2009 people~
OMG! It's already 2009! I'm getting more and more panic about my project! I'm seriously so sorry to my tutor man! It's not like I dun wan to do, just that really dunno how! My drawing really sucks man! OK! Dun care already! I can do it! So everyone can do it also! Just remember our main purpose - PASS ONLY! Hahahaha!
It's already 2009, I can't believe that I'm going to be 21 years old! How i wish the time could turn back! How I wish I can be like a kid, just play and study! Normally we will think this way, but i know, always looking back is not a very good thing also! So, just look forward! I'm sure this will be a brand new start for us! We can't stop the time, so just tell myself! LIVE A HAPPY LIFE! Appreciate everything around us and do more charity work! That would be my purpose! I really dunno what should I study for my degree, now it's really not the right time to start working! Sigh~
Well, not much things to blabber, just to wish everyone around me have a wonderful 2009, forget every bad things happened before, stay healthy and happy! If we ourselves think we can make it! I'm sure we can! Jia you all my frens~ :)
It's already 2009, I can't believe that I'm going to be 21 years old! How i wish the time could turn back! How I wish I can be like a kid, just play and study! Normally we will think this way, but i know, always looking back is not a very good thing also! So, just look forward! I'm sure this will be a brand new start for us! We can't stop the time, so just tell myself! LIVE A HAPPY LIFE! Appreciate everything around us and do more charity work! That would be my purpose! I really dunno what should I study for my degree, now it's really not the right time to start working! Sigh~
Well, not much things to blabber, just to wish everyone around me have a wonderful 2009, forget every bad things happened before, stay healthy and happy! If we ourselves think we can make it! I'm sure we can! Jia you all my frens~ :)
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Merry Christmas! :)
Merry Christmas everyone! :) Yes! Time really flies! Another 5 days to 2009! OMG! I really wish the time could slow down pls! It's like getting faster and faster! OMG! And my FYP~ SIGH~ Hopeless! OK! Let's talk about something happy and forget about the irritating FYP ok!
Today is christmas eve! Actually I really like christmas a lot! I like the atmosphere, and it's the season of thanking ppl around you for their help in that certain year and also sharing your happiness! It is a really beautiful day to me! I like to see everyone busy choosing present for each other, busy making cards and so on. I felt so warm! Everyone is caring each other and the feeling of wanting the people who receive your gift would love it!
This year, since it's our last year in TP, so I decided to gather all my besties - Sin Yee(The monkey), Le Xin(The quakie), Siew Yun(The Meowie) and Nadia(The Shocking beast a.k.a Princess according to herself!) Five of us would have a gathering, exchange gifts and enjoy a nice meal! And because of the changing gift session, yesterday I rushed back from Malaysia to buy gifts to exchange and also little gift for everyone! To my surprise, when I reached home, I saw present on my table! It's the christmas present from my sis! Yeah! It's a cute little Eeyore! Thanks jie jie! She even bought presents for all my besties and a box of Chocolate! OMG! They surely love her to death! Hahaha! Plus mine! Yes! They have a lot of gift! I'm sure they will be like happy like what! Hahaha! I was imagining everyone's facial expression while wrapping gifts for them! So happy and excited! Haha!
Few days ago I made a christmas card! So I printed it out as little cards and give it to all my besties! I also spend a night to type it and save it digitally, one by one send to my colleagues in Pagesetters! Everyone with different message! Wa! really spend a lot of time man! But in the end, very good! Everyone like my card! They all super duper happy! I'm glad to see that too! :)
Then this afternoon, I went to Ikea with all my besties to have our gathering! Yes! It was so happy! But too bad Cloudy and monkey need to go off earlier! But we did enjoyed ourself! We drew lots to see how to exchange the present! I got Quakie's present! It's a beautiful pencil case! Then cloudy got my recordable plush! (I bought one too as my sis christmas present too!) Haha! I recorded a Hahaha song (Korean song of cuz, but it's suppose to ask ppl no matter anything happen, just hahaha! I think it's meaningful that's y I recorded that! Haha!) Nady and monkey exchange their presents. It was really so joyful! I bought them their beloved daim chocolate! Haha! We all really had a very good time! The weather is like so cold! We imagined ourselves in some Europe countries! Wah! really super happy la~ We took a lot of photos and also attracted a lot of unwanted attention! Cuz who the hell will have their christmas celebration at NOON time man! Hahaha!
Now, I'm listening to lovely christmas song while writing this post! This is my habit! I like to play christmas songs every christmas! This is really a very enjoyable post!
Ok! Last but not least, all my dear frens! I'm sorry if I did hurt you or did something wrong, and I'm so thankful to you guys for always by my side sharing all my problems and helped me gone through lots of obstacles! It's been great to meet everyone! I'm really so lucky!!! Hahaha!!! Thanks so much all my dear frens! I hope every of us may have a wonderful christmas and also a happy coming 2009! Merry christmas!!!! Cheers! :)
Today is christmas eve! Actually I really like christmas a lot! I like the atmosphere, and it's the season of thanking ppl around you for their help in that certain year and also sharing your happiness! It is a really beautiful day to me! I like to see everyone busy choosing present for each other, busy making cards and so on. I felt so warm! Everyone is caring each other and the feeling of wanting the people who receive your gift would love it!
This year, since it's our last year in TP, so I decided to gather all my besties - Sin Yee(The monkey), Le Xin(The quakie), Siew Yun(The Meowie) and Nadia(The Shocking beast a.k.a Princess according to herself!) Five of us would have a gathering, exchange gifts and enjoy a nice meal! And because of the changing gift session, yesterday I rushed back from Malaysia to buy gifts to exchange and also little gift for everyone! To my surprise, when I reached home, I saw present on my table! It's the christmas present from my sis! Yeah! It's a cute little Eeyore! Thanks jie jie! She even bought presents for all my besties and a box of Chocolate! OMG! They surely love her to death! Hahaha! Plus mine! Yes! They have a lot of gift! I'm sure they will be like happy like what! Hahaha! I was imagining everyone's facial expression while wrapping gifts for them! So happy and excited! Haha!
Few days ago I made a christmas card! So I printed it out as little cards and give it to all my besties! I also spend a night to type it and save it digitally, one by one send to my colleagues in Pagesetters! Everyone with different message! Wa! really spend a lot of time man! But in the end, very good! Everyone like my card! They all super duper happy! I'm glad to see that too! :)
Then this afternoon, I went to Ikea with all my besties to have our gathering! Yes! It was so happy! But too bad Cloudy and monkey need to go off earlier! But we did enjoyed ourself! We drew lots to see how to exchange the present! I got Quakie's present! It's a beautiful pencil case! Then cloudy got my recordable plush! (I bought one too as my sis christmas present too!) Haha! I recorded a Hahaha song (Korean song of cuz, but it's suppose to ask ppl no matter anything happen, just hahaha! I think it's meaningful that's y I recorded that! Haha!) Nady and monkey exchange their presents. It was really so joyful! I bought them their beloved daim chocolate! Haha! We all really had a very good time! The weather is like so cold! We imagined ourselves in some Europe countries! Wah! really super happy la~ We took a lot of photos and also attracted a lot of unwanted attention! Cuz who the hell will have their christmas celebration at NOON time man! Hahaha!
Now, I'm listening to lovely christmas song while writing this post! This is my habit! I like to play christmas songs every christmas! This is really a very enjoyable post!
Ok! Last but not least, all my dear frens! I'm sorry if I did hurt you or did something wrong, and I'm so thankful to you guys for always by my side sharing all my problems and helped me gone through lots of obstacles! It's been great to meet everyone! I'm really so lucky!!! Hahaha!!! Thanks so much all my dear frens! I hope every of us may have a wonderful christmas and also a happy coming 2009! Merry christmas!!!! Cheers! :)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Thanks! :)
Well, after yesterday release out everything through my tears, I felt much better. Although things keep bugging me and it's like getting more and more. But it's alright! I will figure out the way to solve it, which I always do.
I'm so touched that everyone of you so concern about my situation. I'm so sorry to u guys if ever I hurt u or yesterday's post did turn u off. That's of cuz not my purpose. But I need a place to dump all my rubbish. So sorry if i did hurt any of u or make u unhappy!
I know depression is scary, and the most scary thing is that now the feeling that i experienced before during my sec school seems like coming back to find me.. that's really very scary. I dun wan to recall those days. But this kind of feeling really makes me feel like crying for no reason. I'm so scared to go back to those days. Monkey said I need to come out from this. Of cuz I know, but I'm still trying hard. I'm trying to do something would make me happy. I'm watching my TVXQ performing, and this seems to work a bit. I'm still figuring what else can really make me happy.
Today I went out to compass point, wanting to walk out a while, and also help my dad look for his tennis shoes. While waiting for bus, I was listening to TVXQ's Don't say goodbye. I was sitting at the bus stop, alone. The wind blew through my face, and suddenly this scary feeling attack me. I felt like crying there, but thank god I din in the end. (Walao! If not damn paiseh la!) I still remember there was once, i was crying on the bus. The uncle who was going to alight still staring at me. But I totally dun care already. I really felt so helpless at that time. But I tell myself, this is not going to work to fight back this kind of feeling. Go and do something. So, I went to popular, wanting to buy some books to read in order to get rid of that scary feeling. I finally bought Dave Pelzer's A man who called Dave. (Err.. Seems like won't help hor.. Might cry even worse wor.. haha..) It's time to read more books, clear my thoughts. I need to change, a change to be a better hee-haw. although I dunno how, but i know this take times. No one is perfect in this world. Everyone facing different kind of stress too. Just that we need to find a way to release out otherwise would ends up depression. I'm thankful to the person who ask my mum to learn old folks dance. If not she might already commit suicide.
I know I need to just dun bother about the family matters, but u see, I can't. I can't see my ah mah keep worrying everyday and keep on sighing. I can't just dun bother what my mum complain bout my father, cuz they are my parents! Everytime her words just like different kind of knife stabbing my heart. And my father's behaviour makes me worried everyday. Although he started to talk to my mum, but everytime he talks I'm damn nervous and worried. I worried he would scold my mum. I dunno how many times, I did covered for my mum. Like those little things la. But I'm really scared that they two scolding each other. I just can't dun bother them. So I try to find something to do at home like cleaning my house to reduce my mum's burden. Sigh~ Really dunno what else can i do already..
And now I need to consider where to continue study. I dunno whether NTU wan to accept me. the sch fees is like 9000+ a year. Where to find man! And I need a brain scan. I need to do it in Malaysia, cuz my cousin said non-singaporean even more expensive. So he suggested me to go for brain scan in Malaysia and consult doctor here. I need to plan which day which my mum is free to bring me. I'm sorry mummy. I can't go alone for this. Cuz I'm scared. :( I'm such a coward.
Now, I think I m reformating myself, mentally. That hoho so funny, ask me go to look for norton! haha! His description not bad, got imagination. I think I just need some times to 沉淀. I think for whole day, maybe I was too rely on four of u. I'm scared to lose one of u. It's time to be independant. But I just felt that recently, cuz of FYP, we all seems to have very little time get together. Even some gathering we can get together, but always not five of us. We r going to graduate soon. After graduate we would be busy for different things and of cuz would see each other even lesser than now. Maybe I'm too rely on friendship. Really! Hee-haw, it's time to be independent! Stand on ur own feet.
Dun worry for me, my friends. I'm glad that I have u guys as my true friends! At least u guys do trying to help me out from all these negative emotion. I will be fine. At least in front of u, I won't allow myself to show that I'm not happy. I will try to destress and look for things which makes me happy! Yes! Christmas! I should enjoy till the max before I face my brain scan and the dead project. Nothing will happen to me, I m sure. Maybe just take some medicine la. haha.. Ok, should sleep now. Tmr is going to be a brand new day for me! Although it takes time to get rid of this kind of feeling, but no worries! I can cope! Cuz I'm the HEE-HAW that u all used to know! :) Thanks so much anyway~ :)
I'm so touched that everyone of you so concern about my situation. I'm so sorry to u guys if ever I hurt u or yesterday's post did turn u off. That's of cuz not my purpose. But I need a place to dump all my rubbish. So sorry if i did hurt any of u or make u unhappy!
I know depression is scary, and the most scary thing is that now the feeling that i experienced before during my sec school seems like coming back to find me.. that's really very scary. I dun wan to recall those days. But this kind of feeling really makes me feel like crying for no reason. I'm so scared to go back to those days. Monkey said I need to come out from this. Of cuz I know, but I'm still trying hard. I'm trying to do something would make me happy. I'm watching my TVXQ performing, and this seems to work a bit. I'm still figuring what else can really make me happy.
Today I went out to compass point, wanting to walk out a while, and also help my dad look for his tennis shoes. While waiting for bus, I was listening to TVXQ's Don't say goodbye. I was sitting at the bus stop, alone. The wind blew through my face, and suddenly this scary feeling attack me. I felt like crying there, but thank god I din in the end. (Walao! If not damn paiseh la!) I still remember there was once, i was crying on the bus. The uncle who was going to alight still staring at me. But I totally dun care already. I really felt so helpless at that time. But I tell myself, this is not going to work to fight back this kind of feeling. Go and do something. So, I went to popular, wanting to buy some books to read in order to get rid of that scary feeling. I finally bought Dave Pelzer's A man who called Dave. (Err.. Seems like won't help hor.. Might cry even worse wor.. haha..) It's time to read more books, clear my thoughts. I need to change, a change to be a better hee-haw. although I dunno how, but i know this take times. No one is perfect in this world. Everyone facing different kind of stress too. Just that we need to find a way to release out otherwise would ends up depression. I'm thankful to the person who ask my mum to learn old folks dance. If not she might already commit suicide.
I know I need to just dun bother about the family matters, but u see, I can't. I can't see my ah mah keep worrying everyday and keep on sighing. I can't just dun bother what my mum complain bout my father, cuz they are my parents! Everytime her words just like different kind of knife stabbing my heart. And my father's behaviour makes me worried everyday. Although he started to talk to my mum, but everytime he talks I'm damn nervous and worried. I worried he would scold my mum. I dunno how many times, I did covered for my mum. Like those little things la. But I'm really scared that they two scolding each other. I just can't dun bother them. So I try to find something to do at home like cleaning my house to reduce my mum's burden. Sigh~ Really dunno what else can i do already..
And now I need to consider where to continue study. I dunno whether NTU wan to accept me. the sch fees is like 9000+ a year. Where to find man! And I need a brain scan. I need to do it in Malaysia, cuz my cousin said non-singaporean even more expensive. So he suggested me to go for brain scan in Malaysia and consult doctor here. I need to plan which day which my mum is free to bring me. I'm sorry mummy. I can't go alone for this. Cuz I'm scared. :( I'm such a coward.
Now, I think I m reformating myself, mentally. That hoho so funny, ask me go to look for norton! haha! His description not bad, got imagination. I think I just need some times to 沉淀. I think for whole day, maybe I was too rely on four of u. I'm scared to lose one of u. It's time to be independant. But I just felt that recently, cuz of FYP, we all seems to have very little time get together. Even some gathering we can get together, but always not five of us. We r going to graduate soon. After graduate we would be busy for different things and of cuz would see each other even lesser than now. Maybe I'm too rely on friendship. Really! Hee-haw, it's time to be independent! Stand on ur own feet.
Dun worry for me, my friends. I'm glad that I have u guys as my true friends! At least u guys do trying to help me out from all these negative emotion. I will be fine. At least in front of u, I won't allow myself to show that I'm not happy. I will try to destress and look for things which makes me happy! Yes! Christmas! I should enjoy till the max before I face my brain scan and the dead project. Nothing will happen to me, I m sure. Maybe just take some medicine la. haha.. Ok, should sleep now. Tmr is going to be a brand new day for me! Although it takes time to get rid of this kind of feeling, but no worries! I can cope! Cuz I'm the HEE-HAW that u all used to know! :) Thanks so much anyway~ :)
Monday, December 15, 2008
Tearing.. T.T
Ok! Just like the title! I'm tearing like nobody business right now. I hate myself! Why I always said the wrong thing!
I just did a stupid thing. Well it's not so stupid actually! Cuz I felt sorry at the same time also damn angry. I told one of my best friend - quakie, dun always say she is depress cuz we are depress too! Just tat we dun tell cuz dun wan to add stress to other ppl! Probably the last sentence is wrong. Ppl got no time to bother bout u actually. I said that cuz I hope she knows that dun keep saying u r depress. Cuz it doesn't help and in fact it affects ur mood to do ur work. Perhaps I dun understand what kind of drawing that u really wan to achieve, perhaps i dun understand ur project at all. But what I know is that, I'm hurt! I'm hurt to see u misinterpret my sentence and post it on ur blog like yes! It's all my fault to make other ppl stress! I dun mean that way! I dun feel good either. I just wan u to know that depress won't help. Now u should TRY to get out of depress! And now u feel depress doens't mean that u got depression.
When i see the sentence in her blog saying what i told her, it hurt me. Deeply. I felt like i got stab by my best fren. I TOT we are best fren and u would understand what m I saying? I TOT u will know that what I m saying is not to stress u!
Perhaps I'm too busybody. Perhaps I m a retard. I m hurt cuz I said that just that I hope u dun end up to depression. Depression is horrible. I saw the live example on my mum. And I know how she feels! I dun wan to see u get into depression. Everytime u told me u r depress, I'm scared. Really really scared and worried that u might just commit suicide. I'm scared to lost a best fren like u. That's y i can give up anything on my hands just to persuade u. But I'm fed up. I get a big stab everytime. U would just telling me, i dun understand, I can't help. I feel like a retard. I talked so much trying to make u think more positive way. I'm wrong! Totally wrong! I'm too naive! Ok, from now on, I should just do my own part. I shouldn't be such a busybody, thinking way to help u. It's ur project, and yes! Perhaps like what u said! I dun understand at all. I dun understand what u actually wan. I'm sorry for that ok!
My heart is bleeding and tearing at the same time. Cuz I hurt my best fren and at the same time I got hurt by my best fren. I can't say who's fault is it now. What I know is that I'm tearing like hell cuz I'm sad. All my words turns into a knife, killing my fren and myself. I learned the lesson. I won't be such a busybody anymore. Let me cool down..
This is really a great test from god. I have to face everything at the same time. My brain scan + my family matters + my parents + FYP + this! Just when I tot my parents are normal, they gave me a big slap on my face(as in not physically la)! Again, I'm wrong, i m the naive one who tot they will get together like before. And just when I tot my back problem is gg to solve, the doctor told me it's brain. I know nothing will happen but why! TAY KHAI XIN! Can u stop creating troubles! Health problem, family problem, and now friendship problem. Good enough as a test! Yes! that's what I'm facing. I'm scared to fail FYP too. I dun wan to use my parents and siblings money. I felt guilty. This is the greatest stress I ever had. At least till now. But it's ok. I will pull through this, just that I need some times.
I should give myself a big slap for anything I did wrongly. Wah! Then I dunno how many slaps should I get. What if I din say something wrong? What if I din fell down from steps? What if I din go for injection? What if I din come to this world?(No, I will regret! I can't enjoy my favourite music le!) But it's no point to say this cuz what had happened already happened. Alrite! Just try to solve it. Give myself sometimes, bit by bit, solves all these. Everythings would be fine. Soon. I believe... :(
I just did a stupid thing. Well it's not so stupid actually! Cuz I felt sorry at the same time also damn angry. I told one of my best friend - quakie, dun always say she is depress cuz we are depress too! Just tat we dun tell cuz dun wan to add stress to other ppl! Probably the last sentence is wrong. Ppl got no time to bother bout u actually. I said that cuz I hope she knows that dun keep saying u r depress. Cuz it doesn't help and in fact it affects ur mood to do ur work. Perhaps I dun understand what kind of drawing that u really wan to achieve, perhaps i dun understand ur project at all. But what I know is that, I'm hurt! I'm hurt to see u misinterpret my sentence and post it on ur blog like yes! It's all my fault to make other ppl stress! I dun mean that way! I dun feel good either. I just wan u to know that depress won't help. Now u should TRY to get out of depress! And now u feel depress doens't mean that u got depression.
When i see the sentence in her blog saying what i told her, it hurt me. Deeply. I felt like i got stab by my best fren. I TOT we are best fren and u would understand what m I saying? I TOT u will know that what I m saying is not to stress u!
Perhaps I'm too busybody. Perhaps I m a retard. I m hurt cuz I said that just that I hope u dun end up to depression. Depression is horrible. I saw the live example on my mum. And I know how she feels! I dun wan to see u get into depression. Everytime u told me u r depress, I'm scared. Really really scared and worried that u might just commit suicide. I'm scared to lost a best fren like u. That's y i can give up anything on my hands just to persuade u. But I'm fed up. I get a big stab everytime. U would just telling me, i dun understand, I can't help. I feel like a retard. I talked so much trying to make u think more positive way. I'm wrong! Totally wrong! I'm too naive! Ok, from now on, I should just do my own part. I shouldn't be such a busybody, thinking way to help u. It's ur project, and yes! Perhaps like what u said! I dun understand at all. I dun understand what u actually wan. I'm sorry for that ok!
My heart is bleeding and tearing at the same time. Cuz I hurt my best fren and at the same time I got hurt by my best fren. I can't say who's fault is it now. What I know is that I'm tearing like hell cuz I'm sad. All my words turns into a knife, killing my fren and myself. I learned the lesson. I won't be such a busybody anymore. Let me cool down..
This is really a great test from god. I have to face everything at the same time. My brain scan + my family matters + my parents + FYP + this! Just when I tot my parents are normal, they gave me a big slap on my face(as in not physically la)! Again, I'm wrong, i m the naive one who tot they will get together like before. And just when I tot my back problem is gg to solve, the doctor told me it's brain. I know nothing will happen but why! TAY KHAI XIN! Can u stop creating troubles! Health problem, family problem, and now friendship problem. Good enough as a test! Yes! that's what I'm facing. I'm scared to fail FYP too. I dun wan to use my parents and siblings money. I felt guilty. This is the greatest stress I ever had. At least till now. But it's ok. I will pull through this, just that I need some times.
I should give myself a big slap for anything I did wrongly. Wah! Then I dunno how many slaps should I get. What if I din say something wrong? What if I din fell down from steps? What if I din go for injection? What if I din come to this world?(No, I will regret! I can't enjoy my favourite music le!) But it's no point to say this cuz what had happened already happened. Alrite! Just try to solve it. Give myself sometimes, bit by bit, solves all these. Everythings would be fine. Soon. I believe... :(
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Sigh...
I know start a post with this kind of title is kind of sad la, but recently really feel so down... I duno why, but i just dun feel like come back to M'sia home. Probably a lot of things happens here.. Sigh..
Firstly, my cousin matters which makes everyone in super sian look! then my ah mah keep walking here and there and sigh~ Seriously dunno what she wants man! I already told her so many times that dun bother my cousin matters, he is almost 40 years old, u sigh here and there, nothing help to his bloody huge debt la! But she never listen at all. And becuz of her SIGH~ SIGH~ SIGH~, everyone dun feel like go home man! My mum keep going out, just dun wan to see her sighing~ My father finally exploded that day and tell her the same thing i told her! Hahaha.. He also buetahan liao! hahaha.. Then even my sis, the super fillial and homesick ppl also dun feel like go home le! Me? I'm worse, cuz I have to face a lot of pressure! Go home listen to my ah mah blabber how pathetic my cousin is, then listen to my mum how Kanasai my father is, then listen to my father unreasonable scolding.. Sigh~ Can someone save me pls!!!!! Why they are so unfair! Why they never treat my sis that way!!!!! SIGH~ That friday I reached Kluang, My mum and my cousin went to somewhere praying, so I went to my dad's office, not knowing whether he wants to fetch me home. My uncle said he rode motorcycle so can't fetch me! I suddenly felt so lost man~
I dunno what's my value in this family, why everytime I come back, I m just like a ball, nobody wan to fetch me back? I called my mum she said she is not free, wan to cook, ask my dad fetch me, then I sms my dad, what he replied? "Maybe late jogging" Go jogging also dun wan to fetch me. I remember once i told my mum, when one of u free just come and fetch me la, I walk around first. i seriously cried on the bus! I really dunno why I m still sitting on the bus heading to my hometown, I really felt like get down the bus and go back to Singapore immediately! In the end of cuz my mum came to fetch me, but as what I expected, the whole journey full of complaints of my father. I'm sicked of hearing all these!!
I'm tired to take bus all the way home, just like last two days, after I came back, what I heard are all complaints and complaints~ Sometimes I really do think that why I can't have a normal family! As in all in strong family bonding? Did I do anything wrong? What I SUPPOSED to know nobody inform me. What I DUN have to know, u complaint to me all the time? What U wan me to do? I'm tired! U all have no idea what I had experienced during my sec sch time! I even think of what if I die, what would u all do? Would u two get together again or divorce? U know how hard I gone through those days and do u know that how I hate to remember those days?! It's was nightmare! totally nightmare!!!!
I really dunno what can i do? I dunno, just feel like dun wan to come back, but sure kena my sis scold. Sigh~ I dunno what else I can do. When I tell my dad I need a BRAIN scan, he told me to go General hospital find doctor, WHAT FOR go for specialist? YES! If I got my own money, even my funeral I will pay for myself! if my own daughter need something like this, no matter how poor I m, I will work till I die and send her to the Best Specialist! But what u do to me? I know I'm uselesss! Always get into this kind of troubles, but it's not like I want! I felt guilty to use the money too! I dun wan to come back, I get stab everytime I come back. I dunno how many times I get hurt but I really dun feel like coming back to a so called Home to me!
Sigh~ I'm feeling so down man~ Sigh~ Ok la! It's time to stop now! After I throw out so many things here I felt better now! Ok, now I'm brand new hee-haw! hahahahaa.. So, concentrate on your FYP pls Hee-haw! But before that celebrate and enjoy a lot with honey dew, monkey, meowie and Princess Slutini which we miss a lot! It's ok to enjoy for that! hahahaha! (excuse excuse~)
Firstly, my cousin matters which makes everyone in super sian look! then my ah mah keep walking here and there and sigh~ Seriously dunno what she wants man! I already told her so many times that dun bother my cousin matters, he is almost 40 years old, u sigh here and there, nothing help to his bloody huge debt la! But she never listen at all. And becuz of her SIGH~ SIGH~ SIGH~, everyone dun feel like go home man! My mum keep going out, just dun wan to see her sighing~ My father finally exploded that day and tell her the same thing i told her! Hahaha.. He also buetahan liao! hahaha.. Then even my sis, the super fillial and homesick ppl also dun feel like go home le! Me? I'm worse, cuz I have to face a lot of pressure! Go home listen to my ah mah blabber how pathetic my cousin is, then listen to my mum how Kanasai my father is, then listen to my father unreasonable scolding.. Sigh~ Can someone save me pls!!!!! Why they are so unfair! Why they never treat my sis that way!!!!! SIGH~ That friday I reached Kluang, My mum and my cousin went to somewhere praying, so I went to my dad's office, not knowing whether he wants to fetch me home. My uncle said he rode motorcycle so can't fetch me! I suddenly felt so lost man~
I dunno what's my value in this family, why everytime I come back, I m just like a ball, nobody wan to fetch me back? I called my mum she said she is not free, wan to cook, ask my dad fetch me, then I sms my dad, what he replied? "Maybe late jogging" Go jogging also dun wan to fetch me. I remember once i told my mum, when one of u free just come and fetch me la, I walk around first. i seriously cried on the bus! I really dunno why I m still sitting on the bus heading to my hometown, I really felt like get down the bus and go back to Singapore immediately! In the end of cuz my mum came to fetch me, but as what I expected, the whole journey full of complaints of my father. I'm sicked of hearing all these!!
I'm tired to take bus all the way home, just like last two days, after I came back, what I heard are all complaints and complaints~ Sometimes I really do think that why I can't have a normal family! As in all in strong family bonding? Did I do anything wrong? What I SUPPOSED to know nobody inform me. What I DUN have to know, u complaint to me all the time? What U wan me to do? I'm tired! U all have no idea what I had experienced during my sec sch time! I even think of what if I die, what would u all do? Would u two get together again or divorce? U know how hard I gone through those days and do u know that how I hate to remember those days?! It's was nightmare! totally nightmare!!!!
I really dunno what can i do? I dunno, just feel like dun wan to come back, but sure kena my sis scold. Sigh~ I dunno what else I can do. When I tell my dad I need a BRAIN scan, he told me to go General hospital find doctor, WHAT FOR go for specialist? YES! If I got my own money, even my funeral I will pay for myself! if my own daughter need something like this, no matter how poor I m, I will work till I die and send her to the Best Specialist! But what u do to me? I know I'm uselesss! Always get into this kind of troubles, but it's not like I want! I felt guilty to use the money too! I dun wan to come back, I get stab everytime I come back. I dunno how many times I get hurt but I really dun feel like coming back to a so called Home to me!
Sigh~ I'm feeling so down man~ Sigh~ Ok la! It's time to stop now! After I throw out so many things here I felt better now! Ok, now I'm brand new hee-haw! hahahahaa.. So, concentrate on your FYP pls Hee-haw! But before that celebrate and enjoy a lot with honey dew, monkey, meowie and Princess Slutini which we miss a lot! It's ok to enjoy for that! hahahaha! (excuse excuse~)
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