Merry Christmas! :)

Merry Christmas everyone! :) Yes! Time really flies! Another 5 days to 2009! OMG! I really wish the time could slow down pls! It's like getting faster and faster! OMG! And my FYP~ SIGH~ Hopeless! OK! Let's talk about something happy and forget about the irritating FYP ok!

Today is christmas eve! Actually I really like christmas a lot! I like the atmosphere, and it's the season of thanking ppl around you for their help in that certain year and also sharing your happiness! It is a really beautiful day to me! I like to see everyone busy choosing present for each other, busy making cards and so on. I felt so warm! Everyone is caring each other and the feeling of wanting the people who receive your gift would love it!

This year, since it's our last year in TP, so I decided to gather all my besties - Sin Yee(The monkey), Le Xin(The quakie), Siew Yun(The Meowie) and Nadia(The Shocking beast a.k.a Princess according to herself!) Five of us would have a gathering, exchange gifts and enjoy a nice meal! And because of the changing gift session, yesterday I rushed back from Malaysia to buy gifts to exchange and also little gift for everyone! To my surprise, when I reached home, I saw present on my table! It's the christmas present from my sis! Yeah! It's a cute little Eeyore! Thanks jie jie! She even bought presents for all my besties and a box of Chocolate! OMG! They surely love her to death! Hahaha! Plus mine! Yes! They have a lot of gift! I'm sure they will be like happy like what! Hahaha! I was imagining everyone's facial expression while wrapping gifts for them! So happy and excited! Haha!

Few days ago I made a christmas card! So I printed it out as little cards and give it to all my besties! I also spend a night to type it and save it digitally, one by one send to my colleagues in Pagesetters! Everyone with different message! Wa! really spend a lot of time man! But in the end, very good! Everyone like my card! They all super duper happy! I'm glad to see that too! :)

Then this afternoon, I went to Ikea with all my besties to have our gathering! Yes! It was so happy! But too bad Cloudy and monkey need to go off earlier! But we did enjoyed ourself! We drew lots to see how to exchange the present! I got Quakie's present! It's a beautiful pencil case! Then cloudy got my recordable plush! (I bought one too as my sis christmas present too!) Haha! I recorded a Hahaha song (Korean song of cuz, but it's suppose to ask ppl no matter anything happen, just hahaha! I think it's meaningful that's y I recorded that! Haha!) Nady and monkey exchange their presents. It was really so joyful! I bought them their beloved daim chocolate! Haha! We all really had a very good time! The weather is like so cold! We imagined ourselves in some Europe countries! Wah! really super happy la~ We took a lot of photos and also attracted a lot of unwanted attention! Cuz who the hell will have their christmas celebration at NOON time man! Hahaha!

Now, I'm listening to lovely christmas song while writing this post! This is my habit! I like to play christmas songs every christmas! This is really a very enjoyable post!

Ok! Last but not least, all my dear frens! I'm sorry if I did hurt you or did something wrong, and I'm so thankful to you guys for always by my side sharing all my problems and helped me gone through lots of obstacles! It's been great to meet everyone! I'm really so lucky!!! Hahaha!!! Thanks so much all my dear frens! I hope every of us may have a wonderful christmas and also a happy coming 2009! Merry christmas!!!! Cheers! :)

Thanks! :)

Well, after yesterday release out everything through my tears, I felt much better. Although things keep bugging me and it's like getting more and more. But it's alright! I will figure out the way to solve it, which I always do.

I'm so touched that everyone of you so concern about my situation. I'm so sorry to u guys if ever I hurt u or yesterday's post did turn u off. That's of cuz not my purpose. But I need a place to dump all my rubbish. So sorry if i did hurt any of u or make u unhappy!

I know depression is scary, and the most scary thing is that now the feeling that i experienced before during my sec school seems like coming back to find me.. that's really very scary. I dun wan to recall those days. But this kind of feeling really makes me feel like crying for no reason. I'm so scared to go back to those days. Monkey said I need to come out from this. Of cuz I know, but I'm still trying hard. I'm trying to do something would make me happy. I'm watching my TVXQ performing, and this seems to work a bit. I'm still figuring what else can really make me happy.

Today I went out to compass point, wanting to walk out a while, and also help my dad look for his tennis shoes. While waiting for bus, I was listening to TVXQ's Don't say goodbye. I was sitting at the bus stop, alone. The wind blew through my face, and suddenly this scary feeling attack me. I felt like crying there, but thank god I din in the end. (Walao! If not damn paiseh la!) I still remember there was once, i was crying on the bus. The uncle who was going to alight still staring at me. But I totally dun care already. I really felt so helpless at that time. But I tell myself, this is not going to work to fight back this kind of feeling. Go and do something. So, I went to popular, wanting to buy some books to read in order to get rid of that scary feeling. I finally bought Dave Pelzer's A man who called Dave. (Err.. Seems like won't help hor.. Might cry even worse wor.. haha..) It's time to read more books, clear my thoughts. I need to change, a change to be a better hee-haw. although I dunno how, but i know this take times. No one is perfect in this world. Everyone facing different kind of stress too. Just that we need to find a way to release out otherwise would ends up depression. I'm thankful to the person who ask my mum to learn old folks dance. If not she might already commit suicide.

I know I need to just dun bother about the family matters, but u see, I can't. I can't see my ah mah keep worrying everyday and keep on sighing. I can't just dun bother what my mum complain bout my father, cuz they are my parents! Everytime her words just like different kind of knife stabbing my heart. And my father's behaviour makes me worried everyday. Although he started to talk to my mum, but everytime he talks I'm damn nervous and worried. I worried he would scold my mum. I dunno how many times, I did covered for my mum. Like those little things la. But I'm really scared that they two scolding each other. I just can't dun bother them. So I try to find something to do at home like cleaning my house to reduce my mum's burden. Sigh~ Really dunno what else can i do already..

And now I need to consider where to continue study. I dunno whether NTU wan to accept me. the sch fees is like 9000+ a year. Where to find man! And I need a brain scan. I need to do it in Malaysia, cuz my cousin said non-singaporean even more expensive. So he suggested me to go for brain scan in Malaysia and consult doctor here. I need to plan which day which my mum is free to bring me. I'm sorry mummy. I can't go alone for this. Cuz I'm scared. :( I'm such a coward.

Now, I think I m reformating myself, mentally. That hoho so funny, ask me go to look for norton! haha! His description not bad, got imagination. I think I just need some times to 沉淀. I think for whole day, maybe I was too rely on four of u. I'm scared to lose one of u. It's time to be independant. But I just felt that recently, cuz of FYP, we all seems to have very little time get together. Even some gathering we can get together, but always not five of us. We r going to graduate soon. After graduate we would be busy for different things and of cuz would see each other even lesser than now. Maybe I'm too rely on friendship. Really! Hee-haw, it's time to be independent! Stand on ur own feet.

Dun worry for me, my friends. I'm glad that I have u guys as my true friends! At least u guys do trying to help me out from all these negative emotion. I will be fine. At least in front of u, I won't allow myself to show that I'm not happy. I will try to destress and look for things which makes me happy! Yes! Christmas! I should enjoy till the max before I face my brain scan and the dead project. Nothing will happen to me, I m sure. Maybe just take some medicine la. haha.. Ok, should sleep now. Tmr is going to be a brand new day for me! Although it takes time to get rid of this kind of feeling, but no worries! I can cope! Cuz I'm the HEE-HAW that u all used to know! :) Thanks so much anyway~ :)

Tearing.. T.T

Ok! Just like the title! I'm tearing like nobody business right now. I hate myself! Why I always said the wrong thing!

I just did a stupid thing. Well it's not so stupid actually! Cuz I felt sorry at the same time also damn angry. I told one of my best friend - quakie, dun always say she is depress cuz we are depress too! Just tat we dun tell cuz dun wan to add stress to other ppl! Probably the last sentence is wrong. Ppl got no time to bother bout u actually. I said that cuz I hope she knows that dun keep saying u r depress. Cuz it doesn't help and in fact it affects ur mood to do ur work. Perhaps I dun understand what kind of drawing that u really wan to achieve, perhaps i dun understand ur project at all. But what I know is that, I'm hurt! I'm hurt to see u misinterpret my sentence and post it on ur blog like yes! It's all my fault to make other ppl stress! I dun mean that way! I dun feel good either. I just wan u to know that depress won't help. Now u should TRY to get out of depress! And now u feel depress doens't mean that u got depression.

When i see the sentence in her blog saying what i told her, it hurt me. Deeply. I felt like i got stab by my best fren. I TOT we are best fren and u would understand what m I saying? I TOT u will know that what I m saying is not to stress u!

Perhaps I'm too busybody. Perhaps I m a retard. I m hurt cuz I said that just that I hope u dun end up to depression. Depression is horrible. I saw the live example on my mum. And I know how she feels! I dun wan to see u get into depression. Everytime u told me u r depress, I'm scared. Really really scared and worried that u might just commit suicide. I'm scared to lost a best fren like u. That's y i can give up anything on my hands just to persuade u. But I'm fed up. I get a big stab everytime. U would just telling me, i dun understand, I can't help. I feel like a retard. I talked so much trying to make u think more positive way. I'm wrong! Totally wrong! I'm too naive! Ok, from now on, I should just do my own part. I shouldn't be such a busybody, thinking way to help u. It's ur project, and yes! Perhaps like what u said! I dun understand at all. I dun understand what u actually wan. I'm sorry for that ok!

My heart is bleeding and tearing at the same time. Cuz I hurt my best fren and at the same time I got hurt by my best fren. I can't say who's fault is it now. What I know is that I'm tearing like hell cuz I'm sad. All my words turns into a knife, killing my fren and myself. I learned the lesson. I won't be such a busybody anymore. Let me cool down..

This is really a great test from god. I have to face everything at the same time. My brain scan + my family matters + my parents + FYP + this! Just when I tot my parents are normal, they gave me a big slap on my face(as in not physically la)! Again, I'm wrong, i m the naive one who tot they will get together like before. And just when I tot my back problem is gg to solve, the doctor told me it's brain. I know nothing will happen but why! TAY KHAI XIN! Can u stop creating troubles! Health problem, family problem, and now friendship problem. Good enough as a test! Yes! that's what I'm facing. I'm scared to fail FYP too. I dun wan to use my parents and siblings money. I felt guilty. This is the greatest stress I ever had. At least till now. But it's ok. I will pull through this, just that I need some times.

I should give myself a big slap for anything I did wrongly. Wah! Then I dunno how many slaps should I get. What if I din say something wrong? What if I din fell down from steps? What if I din go for injection? What if I din come to this world?(No, I will regret! I can't enjoy my favourite music le!) But it's no point to say this cuz what had happened already happened. Alrite! Just try to solve it. Give myself sometimes, bit by bit, solves all these. Everythings would be fine. Soon. I believe... :(

Sigh...

I know start a post with this kind of title is kind of sad la, but recently really feel so down... I duno why, but i just dun feel like come back to M'sia home. Probably a lot of things happens here.. Sigh..

Firstly, my cousin matters which makes everyone in super sian look! then my ah mah keep walking here and there and sigh~ Seriously dunno what she wants man! I already told her so many times that dun bother my cousin matters, he is almost 40 years old, u sigh here and there, nothing help to his bloody huge debt la! But she never listen at all. And becuz of her SIGH~ SIGH~ SIGH~, everyone dun feel like go home man! My mum keep going out, just dun wan to see her sighing~ My father finally exploded that day and tell her the same thing i told her! Hahaha.. He also buetahan liao! hahaha.. Then even my sis, the super fillial and homesick ppl also dun feel like go home le! Me? I'm worse, cuz I have to face a lot of pressure! Go home listen to my ah mah blabber how pathetic my cousin is, then listen to my mum how Kanasai my father is, then listen to my father unreasonable scolding.. Sigh~ Can someone save me pls!!!!! Why they are so unfair! Why they never treat my sis that way!!!!! SIGH~ That friday I reached Kluang, My mum and my cousin went to somewhere praying, so I went to my dad's office, not knowing whether he wants to fetch me home. My uncle said he rode motorcycle so can't fetch me! I suddenly felt so lost man~

I dunno what's my value in this family, why everytime I come back, I m just like a ball, nobody wan to fetch me back? I called my mum she said she is not free, wan to cook, ask my dad fetch me, then I sms my dad, what he replied? "Maybe late jogging" Go jogging also dun wan to fetch me. I remember once i told my mum, when one of u free just come and fetch me la, I walk around first. i seriously cried on the bus! I really dunno why I m still sitting on the bus heading to my hometown, I really felt like get down the bus and go back to Singapore immediately! In the end of cuz my mum came to fetch me, but as what I expected, the whole journey full of complaints of my father. I'm sicked of hearing all these!!

I'm tired to take bus all the way home, just like last two days, after I came back, what I heard are all complaints and complaints~ Sometimes I really do think that why I can't have a normal family! As in all in strong family bonding? Did I do anything wrong? What I SUPPOSED to know nobody inform me. What I DUN have to know, u complaint to me all the time? What U wan me to do? I'm tired! U all have no idea what I had experienced during my sec sch time! I even think of what if I die, what would u all do? Would u two get together again or divorce? U know how hard I gone through those days and do u know that how I hate to remember those days?! It's was nightmare! totally nightmare!!!!

I really dunno what can i do? I dunno, just feel like dun wan to come back, but sure kena my sis scold. Sigh~ I dunno what else I can do. When I tell my dad I need a BRAIN scan, he told me to go General hospital find doctor, WHAT FOR go for specialist? YES! If I got my own money, even my funeral I will pay for myself! if my own daughter need something like this, no matter how poor I m, I will work till I die and send her to the Best Specialist! But what u do to me? I know I'm uselesss! Always get into this kind of troubles, but it's not like I want! I felt guilty to use the money too! I dun wan to come back, I get stab everytime I come back. I dunno how many times I get hurt but I really dun feel like coming back to a so called Home to me!

Sigh~ I'm feeling so down man~ Sigh~ Ok la! It's time to stop now! After I throw out so many things here I felt better now! Ok, now I'm brand new hee-haw! hahahahaa.. So, concentrate on your FYP pls Hee-haw! But before that celebrate and enjoy a lot with honey dew, monkey, meowie and Princess Slutini which we miss a lot! It's ok to enjoy for that! hahahaha! (excuse excuse~)

Health check..

28th November, my appointment to go for MRI scan for my neck and upper back. I did one before for my lower back, two years ago. But still, it was a scary experience.

Early morning I woke up at 6.00am and went out like 6.45am for breakfast. After the nice prata, me, my sis and my mum set off to JB puteri hospital. We were late as there was a traffic jam! Omg! I was 15 minutes late but thank god I didn't get scold and no need to wait too long. Then I need to get change. The pants that the nurse gave me was too big, I tied till the max still like dropping! hahaha.. I think I am not too fat actually! hahaha.. then i was waiting outside the room to be call up to enter the Scary room. "Tay Khai Xin, sini!" OMG! I was damn nervous! She asked me who I came with, cuz the MRI scan might take around one hour! So I quickly informed my mum and sis. Thank god she brought DS with her and my mum can talk to phone. So i think they were not too bored. Inside the room, the nurse gave me some instructions. Firstly I need to scan my neck first. Then only my back. Each scanning might takes 30 minutes, If I accidentally moves, then might take extra 15 minutes. I was so scared cuz she said can't bring in any metal things inside. But how about my BRACES!!? hahaha.. She asked me whether can take off, I say no! Then she said let's try, but if you feel not comfortable must tell her immediately! I was praying hard for nothing happen! But I dun dare to open my mouth while I was "send in" to the Machine! Hahaha.. The nurse looks even more worried than me! hahaha..

Then start with the neck, she told me I can't swallow my saliva until the machine stop the sound. And it takes around 3 minutes! sigh! Human is really a weird animal man! Usually we dun feel like swallow the saliva while lying down. But now really feel the urge to swallow! I really tried very hard to tahan! Hahaha.. Keep thinking cannot swallow, cannot! Hahaha.. Finally, I dunno how long passed, the nurse said, well done I followed the instruction. (haha, like primary sch gal!) then it's my back turn, she said I can back to normal now just that dun move any inch! So, She sticked a Pill at my back as her "marker" and help me to wear something on my body. Forget to mention, the distance between my face and the machine was like only a few cm! So It was really scary! The room was cold like hell. and she keep trying to get the right position. My bladder was about to burst man! Hahaha.. So I keep telling myself, another 5 minutes, tahan tahan~ hahaha.. when it finally done, I ran out to get change and RUN TO THE TOILET! Hahahaha! I like the malay nurse, she is so kind. :)

Then after the comfortable toilet visit, I was sitting in front of the counter to take my beautiful "photo" I took just now! Hahaha.. "Tay Khai Xin" Finally, my turn, need to pay now. "Seribu empat ratus!" OMG! RM1400!!!!!!! For ONE HOUR MRI scan. I knew it was expensive, I wonder they will charge me as one part or double? In the end it's double! SHIT! But it's consider cheaper than Pantai hospital in Melaka, RM750!! OMG! I'm sorry to my daddy man! He is now in a situation like this and I still spend a lot of money! I felt so sorry to him. T.T

Then I took my MRI scan to the specialist again. He said overall is all right, no fracture, the bone condition is all right. Good! Phew~ I was relieved although that was what I predicted. "BUT!" Sigh~ there's always a BUT! The doctor said he dunno what's the actual cause that my back keep paining like hell, but as an X-ray specialist, he found out that my neck part, there's a very strange condition. He shown me that part, very upper part of my neck, he said my brain position is low. (well, I dunno how to explain, but it's something about the brain! The exact name is called Chiari Type I Malformation! haha~ Sounds scary huh!) Oh my god?! BRAIN!!? I was shocked like what!! He said the situation might be naturally born to be like that, or other factors. So he suggested me to go and consult a Neurosurgeon! OMG! It's getting more and more complicated now. I never tot of my back problem would link to my BRAIN? He suggested me to go for a brain check! See la! No wonder I'm so crazy and abnormal, cuz my brain is rosak(Spoilt!) HAHAHAHAHA!!

So I asked for some painkiller, and then went back home. Sigh~ the consultant fee and medicine cost me RM92!! I should be a doctor man~ Hahaha.. Then I went back and told my father I need to scan my brain, he was like ????? WHY? Hahahhaa.. So funny he looks! But I didn't tell my Ah mah la. I felt super sweet yesterday, cuz my mum said my brother called back! Hahah! He seldom call back. I think like once or twice since he go to Australia. My mum told him would take me for the check up so he called back and ask and was surprise too! Hahaha... I love my brother~ :)

Then today, I really can't tahan so I go for Physiotherapy! Yeah! So happy! I like to go there~ Everyone treat me so well! ;) I took my "beautiful photo" and show my buddy! I told him the same thing and which part is the problematic part! My sis asked if there's a need to do the brain scan, he said if the specialist said that then might need to go for a check! and he said the Mahkota doctor that the specialist recommend is not good. So he searched for me and recommend me to go Singapore Hospital! OMG~ I can predict, A LOT MORE MONEY going to burn out~ Sigh~ I'm so so so sorry to my parents and family man. My buddy also said that that certain part really looks weird. So need to go for a check. While I was doing physiotherapy, I heard that my buddy was searching for this special name of the disease I suffered from. I dunno what's that, but he told my mum and sis, if need to operate, might need to cut out that little part of skull so that it won't block the brain!! OMG! and IT'S A BIG OPERATION! But not to worry first, cuz not sure I need to do that! and That's only the possibility only! But I was scared, really scared of that.

I dunno how much more money I need to burn this time. But I'm really so so sorry to my family and parents. Why can't I walk slowly that time? Why would I suffer from all these which cost a lot? Sigh~ All these things came at the very wrong timing. But it's ok, I guess it's not something very serious. So no need to worry too much for me, I will tell myself, be strong and it's not really something very big! Cuz everything haven't confirm yet! And I'm lucky Hee-haw according to Lexy what! So I will be fine! Just to release a bit stress here and now I felt much better now! :)

Hey people, nothing is more important than Health! I understand this since young cuz I had been through all different kinds of scans, check up... So, pls take care of yourself all my friends! I will do so! Sleep as early as we can and have balance meal ok! Do not torture yourself just to save money! Even you got no money to eat, Hee-haw the ATM can always treat u, but not expensive one! Hahaha.. So, remember! take care ya! :)

公平

公平，我想它可能并不存在。如果这世界是公平的，那为什么还有这么多人受到不公平的待遇。

这几天，呆在家里。奶奶回来了。跟他聊天，聊关于我的堂哥，我是越聊越气！我曾经告诉我自己，上天是公平的。有付出就会有回报。但我越来越怀疑这个想法了。

爸爸已经60岁了，有时回家看见爸爸苍老的背影，突然觉得，他好像老了很多。不自觉地会想流泪。尤其最近，那个野心很大，不听劝告的堂哥，因为欠下一笔很大很大的债，老爸为了他，不停想办法，烦的睡不好，吃不下，甚至整副身家都拿来还那窝囊废的债！我真的很心疼，很想过去一巴一巴地打醒那个窝囊废！当初老爸劝他，不要轻易相信别人，那项投资风险很大，不听。现在，欠了一大笔钱，要我老爸去还。公平吗？我心疼的是我老爸，辛辛苦苦了大半辈子的心血，就这样被一个窝囊废完全掏光，什么也没有了。到老爸这把年纪，运气好早就坐在家里享儿孙福，有空就游山玩水。现在哪儿来的闲钱？老妈和老爸，辛苦那么多年，为了让我们过好日子，想不到，辛苦那么久，日子过得好的是另一家人。 大伯一家，从以前，欠钱就是找老爸要。如果你说，因为你年轻时，出外工作养家，可以，我感谢你。但老爸帮你供3个儿子到美国念书, 帮你还了数也数不清的债务，应该已经仁至义尽了吧！现在，你的窝囊废儿子，又来讨债，是上辈子欠你的吗？老爸是个节俭的人。东西不用到坏，决不换！老爸那辆车，从我三年级坐到现在，妈妈的车也都八年了。家里的电视，用到冒烟还要拿去修，直到宣告死亡才买一部好的。我们从小到大，爸爸妈妈很少买我们喜欢的东西给我们。我们也从来没有自己的玩具，都是别人送的。就算是我的CD收藏，我可以大声地告诉你，每一张，都是我和我姐姐辛苦存钱买的，没有一张是爸爸买的！当初我想要买一部电脑，这样就不必天天去学校做功课，回家跟姐姐争电脑。我想了很久，才让我姐姐帮我问老爸可以买给我吗？我的腰伤，已经花了家里很多钱了，我真的不好意思再向他们要了。我们的日子为什么过得那么节俭，因为我们知道钱难赚，爸爸妈妈赚钱辛苦。相反的，我的大伯一家，这几年来，一共换了多少部车，我数不清。东西不见，再买。电话，厌倦了就换一部，玩具也是堆积如山。老实说，我很感谢爸妈没溺爱我们。我才不想像那家人一样。我现在看到他们的嘴脸，就会想，老爸辛苦赚的老本，就被这群无耻的家伙掏光了。我真的很气，连小叔没钱也向老爸伸手。你们当我老爸是银行吗？你们辛苦他就不辛苦吗? 没钱不会卖你们的大屋子，大车子吗？最惨的是奶奶只会帮他们向老爸开口，有时我都怀疑老爸是他亲生的吗？

那个窝囊废是长子第孙，惹了这么大的祸，就只会哭着求奶奶。你是疯了吗？你要他老人家烦到连那副纸片人的身躯跟你一起倒下吗？你知不知道奶奶为了你的事，厚着脸皮到处去借钱。为了你烦到吃不下，睡不好。现在瘦得只剩骨头。这就是你所谓的孝顺？分明是你不听劝，还跟奶奶说生意失败。奶奶那天没说我还没那么气，听了更是想冲去你家一巴掌掴下去。生意失败，多好听的理由阿! 连奶奶的钱你也敢借！为什么你做事情永远都不用脑想！为什么你都快40岁了想法还那么天真？想开面包店就开，你跟大嫂会做面包吗？根本都不了解这行，就相信你所谓的朋友！好啊，人家现在不想做了，走了，留一个烂摊子等你收拾。结果，不用我说，你们猜也猜得到！

我真的不明白，这世界真的公平吗？也许是这样，我不相信别人告诉我投资这样会赚大钱，现在我只相信，一步一脚印，努力工作，薪水低又怎样，至少别人会看见你的努力，慢慢的爬，总会到达终点。我真的不知道我可以怎样帮爸爸，我能做的只有为他们两老存钱，让他们可以无忧无虑的养老。至于那个窝囊废，就算我以后是亿万富翁都好，我一分一毫都不会帮！因为你们根本不值得。虽然这世界也许是不公平的，但我相信一句话，人在做，天在看。我不会诅咒你们，因为我很不幸的是你们的亲戚。但是我希望脸皮像城墙这样厚的你们，知道你们有多过分！

谁可以告诉我，我还能做什么？老爸对不起，我不会再跟你要钱了，我会自己努力赚的。还记得小时候你问我：你长大以后，赚了钱，一个月要给我多少钱？当时的我，还小，天真地说：一千给你, 一千给妈妈，剩下的自己存。但是我可能做不到了。我想我的薪水并没有那么高，但我一定会守我的承诺，照顾你们到老，不让你们操心，安心养老！也许应该从现在开始存钱了吧... ...

我的好朋友们，虽然这世界也许是不公平的，但发一发牢骚就算了，不要怨天尤人。因为比起大部分的人，我们已经很幸福了。至少我们不愁吃不愁穿。也许我们会遇到不公平的待遇，没关系，忍下来，当作是上天给我们人生的磨练。没有这些磨练，我们不会成长，思想不会成熟。只要我们自己知道，没有对不起任何人，问心无愧，就算被冤枉，总有一天他们会明白他们是错的。Specially dedicate to Lexy~ 无论如何，我们都会在你身旁支持你。有什么不开心想诉苦，三对耳朵随时等你！加油！不要被那些无聊的姐姐给打倒。她怎么欺负你，天都看见了，她怎么诋毁你，天都听见了。总有一天，他们会相信你的！加油啦！:)

The stressful days finally approaching..

Sigh~ Finally, after few years of hard works, it's time to do Major Project! OMG! I tot I can handle it like a normal project, but I can sense that the stressful days finally approaching.. It's getting more and more stress! Sigh~

Although I know what i m doing, but really don't know how to start! I seriously quite lost! But after discussing with quakie today in Mcdonalds (Our McD breakfast day!) I think I know what should I do next. James agreed with my story concept, just that I need to come out with a story outline by next week. These few days I really enjoyed myself like FYP doesn't exist in my mind! I was watching 家好月圆! So nice! I think I must really finish it so that I can concentrate after that! Haha.. (Excuse! Excuse!)

Tuesday, me, quakie, monkey and cloudy went to swim in anchorvale swimming complex while Nady is swimming in Ganges River in India at the same time! haha.. Yeah! Finally!!! Haha.. We enjoyed ourself a lot that day! But monkey's swim suit was torn after playing the slide. It's a small hole though, but still quite obvious! Hahaha.. Quakie was so funny! Before we slide down from the slide, she hang halfway as she slipped accidentally! It was so awkward! and the life guard behind was laughing! Hahaha.. OMG! I can't stop laughing! We also tried the Jacuzzi! So comfortable that we don't bear to come up! We enjoyed a lot there! It's like a mini Sunway Lagoon according to quakie! haha! But after that I felt so guilty! I asked cloudy to board the WRONG bus! OMG! I'm so sorry! I tot bus 88 would pass by hougang interchange! But It's not! OMG! Seriously so sorry to my beloved meowie! :)

Today, I had an enjoyable breakfast with quakie in Mcdonald! Nice breakfast! Hahaha.. We sat there, discussing, chatting, drawing doodles.. What a nice afternoon! :) Then evening I went to swim with my sis! Again in anchorvale. So tired! I swim a lot today! Haha! Feel really great! Hahaha.. I like sports! OMG! I need to do more exercise!

Nady went to India this monday and today is day 4! So not used to it! No ppl laugh with me! Princess I miss you a lot~ You must take care of yourself there ok! No overeating! But I guess u won't eat there also! Hahaha..

Ok, everyone! Listen, don't be stress over this Major Project ok! Just treat it as our usual project! It's just the Title a bit different! We had gone thru a lot of obstacles together and I'm sure we can pull through this also! Jia you everyone! But before the stressful project, let's slack a while now~ 1 day only ok! 1 day! hahahahaha.. :)

Hiak Hiak Hiak~ Albumsss!!!

Hiak Hiak Hiak! Everyone! I finally bought my long-waited albumsss~ Who else? TVXQ la!

Yesterday I broke my record. I took 7 different buses! Haha.. Let me count for you. In the morning, as usual, I took 88 to Pasir Ris interchange and transfer to 15 to school. Then after class, I decided to go to Chong Pang there, buy some retro toys for my major project. Then I took bus 23 to Tampines interchange and change to 969 to Yishun! Awww~ So memorable~ After that, I took bus 800 from Yishun interchange to Chong Pang and bought some toys. Then I took bus 800 back to interchange and wait for 965 go back to Sengkang. I decided to go compass point and try my luck see whether I can get my long-waited TVXQ's album. After that I took bus 80 back to my house! OMG! Break record! 7 different buses! Haha.. Thank god I bought consession. Haha..

This block, I'm having Creative Writing with my Major Project. Paul's class really interesting and I think I enjoyed his class. Just that I can't stand some bitches in my class! they really sucks! But I'm lucky to meet two cute and lovely year 1 freshmen from ADM - Yi Ling and Hazel! Haha.. They both sat beside me. They are so cute. Paul is really a funny man. He jokes a lot in class and I like how he laughed! really like a kid! His teaching style kind of help me a lot with my project and how to come out with idea, although I still hate to sit in a circle. So scary. I really dun like those people opposite me lo! They are so arrogant ok! I group with one that day! I really fell like bodyslam her man. She tot her idea was the best, ask her to interview me, she keep like waiting for me to talk! Dun even ask question man! then still telling me to change my story! Her face really irritating! I can't stand her keep shaking her legs during class man! so arrogant and self-centred!

After class that day, as I mentioned, I went back to Yishun to buy some retro toys there. It's was so memorable to me. Long time never sit on 969. I still remember some drivers. The bus keeps remind me of those time I took buses abck with Nady! Haha.. So fun! We were sleeping and it's so fun to see her drop her hands while she's sleeping! The bus stops, the shopping centre, the interchange, all are so memorable to me! Haha.. Yishun really changed a lot! Especially North Point! It's bigger now although some part still under construction. Haha.. I went back to Chong Pang that toys shop to buy some stuff for my Major Project references. I used to buy toys from that shop for my applied illustration project. I feel great to step in Yishun again! :)

Then I went back to compass point, wanting to try my luck and see whether I can get my long-waited TVXQ's album! YES! FINALLY! Even the concert DVD! Yeah!! I bought three at one time, of cuz three different one (Haha.. My jie jie shares with me la! Haha.. Then the funny thing happened. Iwas holding three CDs to the counter. The guy who works there got shocked and keep looking at my CDs. Then he pretend to drink water near the counter, but I saw his eyes were trying to peeps what I bought! OMG! I spent 110 dollars man! But I was damn happy man! Seriously CDs are all my life. I ever think of if my house get burn, the first thing to move out should be my CDs! Buy CD really makes me happy! :)

Major Project. Sigh~ So stressful! I wish I can go back to year one man! Hope what I'm going to do would turn out nice la. Otherwise.. Sigh~ I also dunno what can I do! My best frens! Everyone! Jia You for our FYP ok! We surely can do it! Jia You!! :)

Outing Outing!!

Yes! Finally! Yesterday! We get to go East Coast to relax ourself before the MONDAY we going to stress like hell! Haha.. Yesterday was our cycling day!! :)

Since this week after hand up our proposal, everyone was damn free except me (T.T I got creative writing..), so i decided to have a cycling day which we all always wanted to go together, but also lack of someone! haha.. So yesterday finally, all of us gather! Porky, monkey, quakie, meowie! (Wai sun also la.. Just that we tot he is so poor thing. Haha.. Not really la.. wai sun dun be sad. HAHA..) So six of us went to East Coast enjoyed our CYCLING DAY~ YAY YAY!!

Before that, I had my morning class. Meowie and monkey were on a mission! Buy a big cake to celebrate really belated quakie birthday and also Hohoboy's coming birthday. Haha.. I meet quakie and porky in sch and go to together. Monkey and meowie were the earliest. Hohoboy went to met us there himself. While me, quakie & porky were happily chatting on bus, laugh like hell. OMG! Seriously, we met Bina while waiting for quakie at design entrance. She said "you are very busy with your facebook huh?" me and porky were like OMG~ Then Porky said "who?" (Still want to act.. Tsk tsk..) then i said "both." Hahahhaa.. OMG! She saw all our crazy photosss that's it la~ then the even more angry thing was that I was on my way to meet monkey & meowie before they go. I was wearing my LEAVE ME ALONE t-shirt. And these group of BLOODY CHILDISH guys keep shouting, "Leave her alone ar.." then they squeeze to one side. Of cuz I gave them my Leave me alone face! Shit! I feel like bodyslam them at that moment ok! and that porky still laugh like crazy!!! TSK TSK TSK!!!

While we all reached McCafe (our meeting place.), I had my lunch and after that! celebration time! haha.. We took out the cake, sang a birthday song for both of them. Before that, the speaker near us were playing some retro chinese songs. But we love that aunty/uncle. When quakie and hohoboy was about the cut the cake, suddenly. "tonight~ I celebrate my love for you~" WAHAHAHAHAHHA.. So romantic! Hahaha... I'm sure quakie felt like puke at that moment! But it was damn funny! hahaha.. Then after eating the cake, we walked towards East Coast and starts cycling! YAY!

We rent one bike for each of us and start cycling! We cycled around, relax a lot. Chatting while cycling. "沒有做不到，沒有不可能" keep bugging my head! That Quakie keep shouting these words! Haha.. Then we reached a nice place to take our "wei mei" photo. We parked our bike on the green and start photo session. We ran and jumped according to our photographer. We had a lot of fun there until monkey said she needs to shit! Haha.. then we faster move to toilet. While we were on the way to toilet, we felt like the situation really suitable for those musical scene like Mamma Mia! Haha.. then we sang along the road, playing while cycling, recalling any nice songs. That was really fun~ But soon. It's almost 4something. Quakie and hohoboy need to left for their Running training. they got involved in the competition. Poor things. Then we all returned our bike and walked back.

Later on, they both took a taxi to school. Porky, monkey, meowie and me continue our happy day! We wanted to have a cool drinks. But we passed by an air-con shop selling Taiwanese milk ice! Wow! we all went in and eat the nice milk ice and chatting till about 5.30pm. When we pay, we just realised we got cheated. It wrote at the banner, all FROM $3.00. But we tot is all $3.00! OMG! really felt cheated and want to bodyslam the boss. but all rite, it's our fault. At least the ice was nice and we had a good time. Don't want to spoilt our mood. So four of us get on bus 15 and that's end our happy cycling day.

I'm sure that day would be our lovely and memorable cycling day. It was fun and I knew I will miss it! It's already year 3. Time really flies. I dun want to graduate so fast. it's been great having you guys by my side. People~ When are we going for our next trip? We must know how to relax ourself during FYP ok? Jia You people~ I'm really glad to be one of the group! Let's plan and have next trip~ :)

Update~~ :)

*neon nareul weonhae neon naege bbajyeo neon naege michyeohe eonal su eobseo I got you- Under my skin*

YES! I'm totally addicted to TVXQ's new song - Mirotic (Jumun) /Spell! I got their spell! Arh~~ Haha.. Finally! TVXQ's 4th korean album release and they got really overwhelming response from their fans! (I'm one of them! Heehee..) They sold 200,000 copies of their album! Yeah!! And I just knew that the amount of their fans from every part of the world, total 800,000 ppl!!!!! And that's recorded in Guiness World record! Wow! Wow! Wow! Chukahamnida~ :)

I love their new album, very different from their previous album, really mature a lot and more man! I like the song that Xiah composed the lyric, the melody is touching. I'm happy to know that my lovely Changmin composed the lyric for korean version Love in the ice! Which is also a very nice and touching song. Heehee.. Madly in love man~ Haha..

Another excitement - Wonder Girls' Nobody! Hahaha... I love this song a lot! also very addictive! This is also the last song for their retro series after Tell me and so hot! although it's an EP, but it's a very nice EP. I like the song that Ye Eun composed the most. Saying I Love You. Very touching and sweet. :)

Another big thing to share - My koko came back! Haha.. although it's just around four or five days, but I really happy to see him. I miss him a lot. That few days, we busy visiting relatives. I was so happy, cuz I finally feel that my family is complete. My father seldom talk, but i can tell that he actually concerned him a lot. That day he sent my uncle to Ipoh, the second day, he rushed back before we set off to Singapore as my brother going to fly off to HK the next day. That time only I feel the love from my dad. He really changed a lot. I'm happy for his changes. :)

But really kind of sad to send him off. Sigh, so many years still like that! Haha..

And then, I'm going to tell u guys about our Malaysia Trip! Heehee! No worry, It's quite short since ppl reading my blog also involve in this trip! Hahaha.. After sending off my brother, I supposed to cry alone as usual, but this time, i got no time to cry. That's the start of our Malaysia trip! Heehee.. So, me and my mummy fetch cloudy and quakie to my Hometown - Kluang. Monkey took a train to my hometown. As we reached earlier so we have our lunch first. Then I drive them to fetch monkey and go to my house rest. Cloudy seems like very excited of our trip and very excited to see me driving! Haha.. So funny! Then, night time we went to Pasar Malam! We bought quite a lot of stuff there! really enjoy our time there.. Haha.. At least I felt that way la.. Hahaha..

The next day, we went to eat nice curry noodles, then we went to watch a movie. We wanted to watch Mamma mia, but it's not on the list. So we watched EAGLE EYE!! OMG!! Then four of us really addicted! Especially me! Haha.. Shia LaBeouf So handsome man! Hahaha.. I like the story too. Nice to watch! :) Then we go home and wait for dinner! Haha.. Three of them seems like enjoy reading magazines in my house.. Hahha.. Night time we went to eat Roti Planta! Yeah! So nice! Then night time we watch cartoon 我们这一家! that's our activities before sleep after that day! Haha..

The next morning, after nice breakfast, we took a bus to KL. My first time to take LRT. Haha.. Long time never come to KL after Jay's concert. Haha.. I mean explore la.. Then we wait for quakie's mummy to fetch us at Taman Jaya station. That day was soooo HOT!! We were melting~ Then after some rest, we went to Sungai Wang, SHOPPING!!! Yeah!! Haha.. We ate our dinner at Kim Gary! That's very enjoyable. After that, it's quite late, we took a cab back. But on the way back, quakie suddenly told us horrible thing!!! SHE FORGOT TO BRING HOUSE KEY!!!!! OMG~ We were tired like what, so we wait for her mum to open the door at the opposite mamak stall. We can only order drinks as we were full like what~ Haha.. But I gave that uncle extra money as I felt so sorry to him. His stall really pathetic, but the teh tarik is nice! :) Then we went back to quakie's house and rest. The next day, we went to quakie's grandmother house. It's at Sungai Buluh. We went to see her big family, her school. It's very awkward to sit there actually.. Haha.. I just remember that I ate a lot of rice! Haha.. Her grandmother cooked a lot for us! Haha.. We also ate nice zhu rou yuan in the afternoon.

Then it's Sunday, we went to buy monkey's train ticket first, then.. Haha! go to sunway Lagoon!!!! Yeah!!! But we took 35 minutes to go one stop, I mean KTM Komuter. Cuz the map is too confused. So we keep taking the wrong train. But not bad la, I get to take komuter. Haha.. Then we took a taxi from mid valley towards - SUNWAY LAGOON! Supposed cloudy need to pay more for the ticket as she dun have discount. (there's 12 ringgit deduction for malaysian! Haha..) But that aunty seems like dun care also, she just scanned one and all of us pay 48ringgit! Haha.. Thanks ticket aunty~ Then we had a lot of fun inside, of cuz. But halfway raining, so quite a lot of things we can't play. In the end all of us were wet (we already took our bath!) and wearing wet pants to go shopping! Haha.. Monkey bought a pants, I bought a bag. We ate the delicious KFC! Then I went to buy cake for quakie as that day was her birthday! 13 October~ When we go home, we rest and watch cartoon. Then 12am! We start our celebration! We took photosss (as usual) then sing birthday song, quakie gave each of us a hug~ :) So sweet~ then we all watch cartoon together! Then we squeeze together and sleep. the next day, we all go back to each other hometown. Cloudy follow me and tuesday go back to SG. Both of us were sick! I spent 37 dollars to consult a doctor man! Shit! Haha.. But Overall, it's really enjoyable! :)

Sch reopen. I missed those days working with Pagesetters. (I spent my holidays working with them) The last day walked out the office really very sad, but I told myself, I can always come back. It's been great to work with them again! :)

Wah~ Din realize I wrote such a long post~ Haha.. ok! Shall stop here and stop and continue stress for FYP.. Haigh~ See u guys~

Teng Teng Teng! Class time!

Aherm... Everybody pls sit at ur own place, listen (actually should be read) carefully what I'm going to teach today! Especially my best frens, Lexy, Ah Chan, and Cloudy!

Ok, today's lecture is about life. I'm sorry I shall mix my language ok..

Aherm.. Ok, well, recently there are some unhappy thing happen. As the Oldest (T.T) among u guys, I think I need to do counseling to u guys.. I hope after reading this page, u will start thinking and I hope this is useful to u!

Well, as u all know, I experienced depression before. It was a period that I would never never want to go back. I knew how terrible is the feeling is. I kept crying, dunno whether the next minute, my mum would commit suicide, dunno whether my parents would divorce, dunno what should i do. I even think of what if i die, will they get together again? But I'm glad, I was able to THINK! T-H-I-N-K! The magic word! If I dun start thinking, maybe I might not sitting here and writting blog. I learned a lot of things thru thinking.

Nobody can control ppl's life. The only driver of urself is urself. U wan to lead a happy life or sad life is ur own decision. So I asked myself, if I can only live for 30 years, I only left 10 years more. I dun want when I look back as a soul, or think back, there's nothing I'm happy with, all sad scene. I always wonder how would my funeral be, would they cry or laugh? Or nobody would come as they dun treat me as fren? I'm really curious. I want by that time, I have somebody to 舍不得, I want me can't bear with my happy memory. I dun wan till the last moment, I'm still crying. So, I realize, how important n powerful thinking is! I decided to live for myself (as in not self-centred), dun torture myself, live a happy life. I learned to find all little things that would make me happy like buy CDsss, (that's where my money gone.. T.T) finding when is my TVXQ's album going to release, help someone! All those little little things that will makes me feel, I'm glad to live on this wonderful world with all nice music, nice food, nice frens.. Learned not to cover urself with negative thoughts. (Although I will still depress sometimes) My method to get rid of depression is to listen to sad songsss, cried till I can't cry anymore, back to sleep. The next day, tell myself, everything is over! I will start all over again!

This time I should apologize to everyone! I'm the culprit of this incident! I shouldn't be like this.. I was really angry after Ah chan said not going. At that moment, I really felt kena cheated. But then I step back n think! (Again, the magic word! Step back n think!) I might be too childish. I spoilt ah chan's day, n make lexy n cloudy not happy. I'm sorry~ Then I knew some incidents going. Again I step back and see the whole pic, Ceh! NO BIG DEAL! It's just a miscommunication in between us. We played 传话游戏before. In the end always ends up with funny things. We can't transfer something exactly to others. So this create the misunderstanding. We might feel hurt but think the other way, if the same thing happen to me, how will u feel? Even I was hurt by my best fren but in my heart I knew, they are for my own good. I saw a sentence before. Good fren will only tell u good things; best fren will tell u the truth, although it's cruel, but they said this for ur own good. Try to think why they say this to us, if not dun treat us as best fren, they dun even bother to tell u! So, just think positively! I guess these few months we were too busy, lack of face to face chatting like last time, that's y seems like lost in something. Chatting is very powerful as we could understand each others more. Think back, these almost three years, we were really happy! So, dun let those small little things to destroy us! our frenship is strong! Haha.. We must prove it!

Well, I do hope u all understand what i'm saying.. As the oldest in our group i think I got the responsible to do this. Well, it's just a life lecture. Not shooting anyone! Pls dun 对号入座ar! I hope we will be happy as usual~ Now! Let's cheer for our frenship! :) Whee~ I love my frens~ :) Never left out! Princess!! :)

I need sometimes to think..

Hello ppl, sorry for late update.. Ok, the tile is quite sad.. I'm going to talk about that later.. Now, as i promised, i'm going to tell u guys about my mid-festival night! Haha..

Actually, that night not really fun.. cuz the organiser not really good at organizing the event.. But the fun thing is i get to play lantern like a kid! Yeah! actually i even did a lantern (or i should say a lamp?) for fuN!! :) Haha.. Nice?

I'm back in Pagesetters for around two weeks.. Working here is really a nice experience.. Last friday, we were holding a book launch for a poetry book at the old parliment house.. I was selling another title by the other guy as he had a reading session down stairs.. the sales not very good as the book launch before last year, so they just come for the reading session.. and guess what! I reached there only realize Felix is the speaker! Hahaha.. So coincidense.. He was so surprise to see me there but since i'm wearing Ethos book T-shirt, he knew I was working la.. Haha.. so nice to chat with him once again.. Then i rush here and there.. But had a nice, short quick dinner (leftover buffet! Haha..) I'm so sorry can't join my frens in east coast for BBQ, but the book launch really need my help.. So sorry, I believe we have a lot of chance next time! :) That day dunno whether Mr Fong was drunk, he gave everyone one day off, then i was making funny face with his daughter as i got no day off, then OMG! I think he saw it! haha.. He suddenly said, "Eh? Khai Xin, you got no day off hor? How ar?" then my lady boss said, "it's ok! We give her double pay today!!" YEah!! Haha.. although not much money but i felt warm-hearted.. :)

I'm seriously doing everything in Pagesetters, almost everything, so quite tiring but learned a lot of things. I'm happy to be with my colleagues again! :) But suddenly a lot of things falls on me! Have to finish before October.. I wonder I can do it.. Haha.. But I will try my best to work faster la.. Haha.. So tiring..

Today! I went to Anchorvale swimming pools swimming with my sis.. So enjoyable.. I love the swimming pools a lot! So fun! Also long time din swim le, so happy! :) But really tiring~ Zzzzz

haha! One day i must bring along Lexy, Cloudy and ah chan to go n play! Haha.. Trust me! It's fun!

Ok, finally back to my title.. Recently, maybe start holidays.. I start to rest my mind and think of a lot of things. Today, I'm not really happy, or actually can said is really angry to death.. Something happened. It's not that I'm petty, maybe u would think it's just a small thing.. But this is my 原哲问题。I confessed that I'm not a good-tempered person. In fact, I'm really a hot-tempered person. I just hate myself that I can't control myself. But this time, I'm really angry, not becuz of u said u dun wan to go, it's that how many times u promised us that u will surely join us, but in the end, last minute just say not joining. And even rejecting one by one.. Can u recall how u promised us? I'm angry of ur irresponsible not u not joing us ok! I'm just a normal person. 我的忍耐也是有极限的，现在已经到极限了。I really dun wan to do this to my best fren, but I'm sad when i treat ppl like my most precious one and I'm just nothing to them. Ok, I shall calm down.. I dunno how to deal with this.. I need to time to think, I need time to get over this.. Give me sometimes.. BTW, i'm saying this seriously, if u feel like gg home to accompany family members jsut go for it, dun stay here jsut becuz of we angry with u.. U should have more time with ur family members.. What we want is u should be happy all the time. I hope we enjoy every single trip. Not forcing to go any place. I guess it won't turn up nice..

And I really hate myself a lot! Can somebody tell me how to be a good daughter? I really dunno how? I hope one day I can be a daughter that my mum n dad will be proud of me. I just heard my mum said if not for us, my dad already divorce my mum.. That moment, although I'm not comfortable with this, but I knew my daddy loves us. But sometimes he can be really irritating.. That's also the reason why I back to Pagesetters. I think I will get depression if i keep on stay at home! I really need someone tell me how to be a good daughter! How to control my temper! How! Seriously, everyone, give me sometimes! I need sometimes to get over this.. T.T

OMG! This is really a long post! But something I'm excited on! Finally, Yeah!!! 24th September! Release of TVXQ album Mirotic! Yeah! I love them~~ So nice! I'm looking forward to their new album! Jia you! N the next day Wonder girls!!! Haha.. ok.. should stop it! I think i should really dip myself in music! I need them while thinking.. ok, I hope the next post i can tell u guys, I already get over eveything! So tiring.. wanna sleep liao~ Bye~ :)

Update!!

Hello people~ Wah.. recently so rajin! Haha.. Cuz I got something to write mah~ Well, I'm back! This week back to Singapore! But it was a tiring week! Haha..

Firstly, when I reached Singapore, I msg all my dear friends and even gave each of them a call! As usual, everyone picked up except MONKEY!! TSK! forever! Throw away the phone man! Oh ya, really so sorry to princess that I tot she got no class but she picked up my call while waiting to consult in class! See! Monkey! Ok la, maybe u r consulting that time! Ok, forgive u one time! Next time u dun pick up again I will smash ur phone into two pieces! Haha.. I was thinking to have a gathering, but too bad, I came at the wrong timing, it's third week everyone just busy like crazy.. So I was planning to go bugis and help my sis buy the materials to do the lantern. (Her company is having lantern design competition! Haha.. So cute!) After that, Lexy said she is going to buy a mouse, so we decided to go together! I went to school met princess, monkey and lexy, too bad cloudy was too busy and was working at home.. I haven't see her for very long time.. Haha.. Cloudy! I miss u~ Haha..

Ok,ok, here comes the exciting part! After lunch in school, me & lexy started our shopping day!! We went to challenger buy mouse and whatever.. Haigh, I spent S$33 for my laptop cooling balls!! OMG! Cuz my membership expired.. Lexy bought few items and I felt that next time I could have buy something her so I joined member again! the cooling balls original member price only 13! But it's ok la, I apply already, Lexy's items can have big discount and next time monkey ar, princess or cloudy might want to buy something from challenger! Then, my membership can be use liao! Haha.. Then, we went to bugis to buy the materials.. Body shop is having promotion, so I bought a bodymist with only S$12 instead of the original price S$19.90! haha.. I bought myself the nice lotion too! Really like the lotion a lot! I love body shop!! :) Then finally start my purpose that day! BUY MATERIALS! haha.. Bought quite a lot of stuff there la.. After that, we were planning to go for dinner then go home, but SHIT! Both of us saw a shop that grab our attention! OMG!! The clothes there super nice man! All from korea!! Ya, it's the shop that I bought my jacket in Novena! Same boss! Such a coincidence that I was wearing that jacket and that aunty came and asked me : "u bought this jacket from me rite?" Hahaha.. So Paiseh! But the clothes inside seriously so nice! I want to slim down and buy the whole shop man! haha.. Lexy also loves their clothes! In the end! SHIT!! We really spend a lot of money! We both bought two pieces.. The most paiseh is that I forgot to try that one I like, after dinner, super paiseh to step in and buy again! Haha.. Lexy keep laughing at me but seriously I'm not used to go inside a shop twice as I'm so paiseh la! Haha.. But really happy! Cuz bought two clothes that I really like! Expensive? it's ok la, seldom see something I really like!my mum gave me some money for birthday ma.. So ok lo~ I can always earn it back! :)

That day was really tiring.. But really very happy! thanks Lexy for accompany me shopping! We both had a great day! Haha.. the next day, I went back to Pagesetters.. I supposed to go there and visit my colleague - Sheryl as 10th September is her last day in PS. But when Wai Han knew that I'm having holidays, she asked me to go back and work.. Ok la, rest two weeks enough la.. Stay at home also boring.. Earn some money also not bad! So! Tada! I'm back to work in Pagesetters now! But the timing is quite free la! I dun mind as it's really comfortable to work in such a happy environment! :) After work, I went to Yio Chu Kang to do lantern with my sis & her friends! OMG!! Super tiring! Still have to take bus back.. I almost wanna faint man! Haha.. The next day which is today still have to work! OMG! feel like a deadmeat! Haha..

Today, it's Sheryl last day.. We secretly did a card for her and again they bought a cake! YEAH! Haha.. Like what Alvan said they are really best customers of cakeshop! Haha.. I did a card for her also! She likes it! Haha.. We squeezed in the little pantry and have our makan there~ So warm-hearted.. But too bad, Sheryl leaving.. Before I left the office, she gave me a hug! But I know she will be back! We can always keep in touch! So ok! Sheryl, really wish u all the best for ur new venture in ur life! It's been a great experience to work with u! All the best ya!

And all my dear friends! Jia you for this block! Tmr I'm gg to work halfday and go back M'sia! Friday mummy going to bring me to play lanterns with kids! Yeah!! So exciting! Will update with you guys again! :) Jia you! :)

Harlo~ Ppl~

Hihi!! Hee-haw is back! :) Hee-haw is having her holidays right now but really really miss her friends a lot! hahaha..

Well, let's talk about my holidays.. Well, it's been two weeks I stayed at home.. Nothing special actually.. But this might be the most memorable holidays I think.. I realize that my PARENTS START TO TALK TO EACH OTHER!! OMG!! can u believe it?! Till now I also dun believe it! Hahaha.. But there are good and bad too.. Now i'm still so scared that my dad talk to my mum, cuz he will start complaining.. Omg, that time I really feel like dying man, when we have dinner together he kept complaining this and that and I could sense that my mum was about to explode! OMG.. So scary.. Better go back SG.. hahaha.. But I see great improvement la.. At least he talked nicely not those want to smack ppl tone! hahahaha.. Daddy & mummy, I really hope that u two can stay peacefully.. Just that simple, i don't think u two can be lovely couple but at least just talk to each other without making each other angry.. I just hope u two can stay peacefully.. Ok la, at least got improvement! I shall give each of u one sticker! :) hahaha..

Well, actually my holidays here very boring.. Everyday stick with my com.. Haha.. Recently start to mad with BIG BANG.. Haha.. their songs very nice! I like Seung Ri a lot! Haha.. he's cute! But no worries, I still love my TVXQ the most! hahahaha... Oh ya, I'm waiting for 24th September to come! TVXQ going to debut their fouth korean album that day! OMG! So looking forward to it! :) And the next day would be wonder girls! Haha.. I love september! 25th september also our lovely monkey's birthday! What a nice day! :) Hmm.. this time must give monkey a very good birthday since we always on holidays during her birthday! haha..

Although I'm having such a long holidays here but I din get to see any of my m'sia frens.. they are all busy with their studies.. So it's ok.. I'm not that disappointed anymore.. cuz.. My heart already dead for them.. I told myself if they ask me out it's just a bonus that I get from them.. Don't expect too high so that I won't be too disappointed afterthat.. But I really really miss my ultimate best frensss, monkey, quakie, meowie & porky!! hahaha... Just two weeks nvr see, haigh.. can't imagine after graduate how can we survive man.. Hahaha.. Two weeks already kill us by missing each other! hahaha.. But i'm going back! hahaha.. Go swimming.. I know a bit xiao but at least I get to see u guys! :)

Also there's a sad news to share, one of my colleague in Pagesetters going to leave the big family.. So i'm going back the day before she leaves which is 9th September - also CJ's birthday! haha.. Purposely go there and eat cake!! hahahahaha... :) But next time I can't see Sheryl there.. So sad.. She is one of my best friend there.. But we can always keep in touch! Hope she found a better job! :) (haigh, Pagesetters so nice she still want to leave.. Lexy!! Faster go apply!! hahaha..)

Oh ya, Everyone! I've got a new phone without paying any cents!! YEAH!! W910i.. Cuz my plan ending soon so I just recontract.. But still very happy to get new phone with 0 cents! haha.. Another good news is that my god of fortune coming back for few days this year October!! haha... Koko~~~ I want DSLR Camera~~ haha.. although my sis just bought a new digital camera~ But actually I really miss my koko la.. not really for the camera la.. (I'm sincerely feel that way! )

Haigh.. Having holidays now but still can't relax till the max cuz really have no idea what should I do for FYP.. Hmm.. should start doing research.. But so sienz le.. Nvm la, try to see more thing and get some inspiration la! Hey my ultimate best frenssss, I 'm coming back~ See u there ya! :)

My birthday!! (16th August 2008)

Yes!! Today is my birthday!! OMG! 20th already!! Can't imagine man!! I still laughing at people that they are getting older! Haha..

Ok, let's talk about how my best frens celebrate for me! Friday, 15th august, I dunno that they are going to celebrate my birthday, but I knew that they might do something either friday or monday! So, after consulted Lynette, (it's really fast consultation), I went back to the room with sin yee! I was shouting : Porky~~ But then I saw a cake on the table! they still hiding behind the board!! Haha.. they tot I dunno but dunno why I can sense whether there are people in the room! Haha.. Even without seeing their shoes! Haha.. But then, Nady haven't come back yet with her Lighter, so we decided to bluff her. She came back happily and discussing how to light the cake, but she dunno me and sin yee were hiding behind the board!! Haha.. then we appeared she was super damn disappointing!! Haha.. (It's ok, Nady, I know u tried very hard!) haha..

Then the funniest thing is that they drew me fire and paste on the candle, cuz we can't get lighter!! Haha.. We played around, took tonssss of photossss.. It's was very crazy and fun that I shall never forget! But too bad, Cloudy went back to Malaysia and she was not there with us! :(
But it's ok! We will have many chance in the future~ Haha.. And I really wan to credit my honey - Lexy to go down all the way to Dhoby Ghaut, bought the ultra delicious dark chocolate cake!!! Thanks honey! I know u had a hard time cuz Nady overslept! thanks Nady also for.. what ever u do to ur donkey!! Haha.. And my dear sin yee, thanks for take out ur precious time to celebrate and planned for this surprise!! Even though u r sick, still play with us! So nice of u!! Thanks!! Thanks wendy also! Our big mama for cutting the cake, and Genie, Rene for taking part so that my birthday party won't look so pathetic! Haha..

Thanks people, I really had a good time with u guys!! Thanks for everything u all do for me!! I like the present a lot!! ok la, Thanks wai sun for the predictable present ok!! Hahaha..

Then, that day evening I went to Bugis National library to attend my interned company's book launch! They invited me to go this restricted place which is so cool!! the night scene super ultra nice! I'm so glad to be there and help out! So glad to see them again!! Then after the event, everyone went off, suddenly, my best fren in Pagesetters - CJ! He told everyone that tmr (16th august) is my birthday! Everyone was surprised and they sang birthday song for me!!! OMG!!! That's so paiseh!! At the same time, they are so sweeeet!! Even my boss also sang for me!!! OMG!!! I was so touched cuz I tot nobody remember it!!! Thanks CJ!! U r such a good koko in Pagesetters! I won't forgot urs! Haha.. That scene really stamp on my mind that whole night! It might be the most touching and memorable birthday song that I ever had!!! Mrs Fong even give me a kiss on my face! Haha.. So cute! Then the playful boss shout that he also want! hahaha.. that was so fun and cute! They are really really very nice!! I'm totally surprise that CJ remember cuz last time we were jsut discussing about birthday! Haha.. Thanks a lot! Pagesetters! You guys are super sweeet~~~ I shall go and visit u guys more~ :)

That was a tiring night but I'm super happy! Before I sleep that scene still on my mind! I was smiling before I sleep! Haha.. Before that when i think of it, I smiled at myself like a fool in MRT! OMG!! So paiseh!!! Haha..

Then, come to my birthday 16th August! I came back to M'sia this morning. Really early! so tiring.. Again! My mum got something on, so we waited for her like half and hours more! Then, still, the same thing, she's complaning my dad again! I was really sad cuz it's my birthday, can't u just give me a break? I really feel that I shouldn't come back man! Then go loitering around, (actually is go to temple to eat lunch which my mum help to cook), then finally can go PHYSIOTHERAPY!!! OMG!! My back pain like what man!! When I go there, everyone was so happy, cuz i always lighten their boring life there thru kacau them! I keep playing there and I was the last patient before they closed! Aiya, used to it already! My buddy won't mind la~ Haha.. Cuz I brought a lot of laughter to him also what!! haha.. Then before I go, he gave me to chocolate bars!! Haha.. Maybe is my birthday present!! So cute! Like treating a child! haha.. I was super happy!! :) I even took a photo of it! haha.. They are really nice there!! :)

Then me and my sis came back for dinner. My mum cooked nice dinner and ask my daddy's fren's family over and had dinner together! Although only three people + my ah ma, but better than nothing la.. But then, there was no cake and candles for me birthday.. My father went out for football match after the guest went home and my mum went out also with her frens to watch Ge tai! I was really disappointed man! I really shouldn't come back.. Although they said we will be celebrating 5 People's birthday together next week! I dun feel like going also, cuz even i'm there, they can't really see me.. I dun wan to celebrate with them.. Ok, I know there will be a celebration next week, but can't u just buy me a small little cake even only for me! They only know go hang out with frens.. My sis played computer games and my ah mah went to sleep. It's so dissappointing! I shall buy myself a little cake and celebrate myself! It would be totally different if today is my sis birthday! I totally dun feel like come back next week man!!

Ok, I shall stop it now! Otherwise would end up very miserable! Nvm.. I have love from my frens like u guys, colleagues from pagesetters, even though my physiotherapist, that should be enough! Thanks everyone for watever u do for me!! :)

Happy birthday - my dear friend.

Happy birthday!! Cloud! today is your birthday.. Must post this before twelve! Haha..

Last week, I had a enjoyable week.. I finished my ComDA.. Although I feel release from stress, but I really had a good time there.. With Felix - the nice lecturer~ Haha.. He's so poor thing.. Everyone just take for granted, attend the class anytime! Totally got no sense of punctuality and time management! They wasted my time also!! So angry! But I have a good lecturer which make things simple and clearer.. haha.. But, I hate presentation man! hahaha...

Then, I was rushing for Cloudy's secret project.. rushed till 5am.. In the end, I got flu.. Maybe also the weather... Dun feel bad ok, Cloudy, not your fault.. Haha.. The next day, I feel like just bomb the sch print shop man!! That two aunties really cannot make it man!! Can you believe I stayed there for two hours more and only printed Three pieces of photo collages?!!!! OMG!! So angry man..

The next day, my flu was getting more serious.. I don't feel like go and consult a doctor there, but my sis insist! and she even sms my honey to drag me to clinic.. Haha.. ok la, pretty sweet la.. Hahaha.. Thanks my honey lexin and ah chan for accompany me to the clinic for two times! I'm sorry to disturb your project.. Haha.. See, that's the frenship! Haha.. They are so nice, but the doc sucks! He is super unprofessional! Consulted him for like 2 minutes! Keep talking rubbish! So pissed off!

Then, on friday, we prepared a surprise birthday celebration for Cloudy's 19th birthday!! Yeah!! We celebrate in Dhoby Ghaut! Hot tomato express.. the food was pretty nice, just the pork chop very hard to bite! Haha.. We took a lot of nice photo.. Cloud thought it was just a gathering, but when the waitress brought the cake, she was surprised!! Haha.. She was very happy, and that's what we all wanted to see! Haha.. We ate the cheese cake that Yi Ling chose! It was super ultra nice!! Omg!! I want to eat again!! Then everyone gave her the present they prepared. Then, the climax, we present her our "heart blood" Hahaha.. The secret book - project!! as expected, she read till she cried. OMG, that's so touch till Ah chan also cried! Dunno cry for what! Hahaha... But really we had a very good time there~ We are glad that she loves the book a lot! although some part still a bit cacat! haha.. Then we went to the exhibition that our classmates hold. We saw lots of lecturer there and ex-lecturer - Teng hong! Haha.. never had his class.. But it's very nice to meet him again! Haha..

Ok, last but not least! Happy birthday to my best fren - Siew yun! 19th already! Must be more matured! Wish you happy and healthy always, remember to share with us your everything, don't keep in your heart ok! We share problem together as we are best frens ever! all the best and we will always by your side~ :)

Finally.. New update~

Hehe.. Ladies and gentlemen! Ah herm.. I'm terribly so sorry for never update my blog for such a long long time~ Hahaha.. But I was too busy and dunno what happen to my friendster blog! So I have decided to change! Haha..

Ok, some updates first. From 24th of March to 30th of May, I was having my memorable Student Internship Programme (SIP). It was a really fun experience for me! I have met a lot of nice people there, actually can said the whole company is a very friendly family kind of company! I was the youngest inside, so everyone treat me very well.. I've met my nice lady boss, Wai Han, funny boss, Mr Fong, my best friend there, C.J, nice jie jie, Sheryl, nice koko, Chang Chieh, Tong, Alvan, nice "uncle", Jonathan, Alvin, the print shop "uncle" and the nice cleaning aunty Kim. They treated me like their family member, the whole environment was just perfectly nice and I really enjoy a lot there~ Haha.. OK should stop it, my honey will surely kill me if i keep saying this~ Haha.. But it was really a wonderful experience for me le~ Haha..

Then I went to Hong Kong! It was really very tiring trip! But it was fun as I went to quite a lot place for sight-seeing, took tons of photossss, went to wonderful Disneyland!! and finally SHOPPING like crazy~ Haha.. It was so fun! Thanks to my jie jie, I'm able to get out of Singapore and see something different! But I hope to get out of Singapore again before my FYP ler~ Haha.. Ok, stop it, somebody like ah chan, quakie, nady, meowie they sure will kill me if i continue~ Haha.. But I bought u all present le~ That's the point ok! The souvenir that I gave u all really cost me a lot! But since we all are ULTIMATE BEST BEST FREINDSS! So nvm~ Haha..

Last week, I went to cycle with stick man, ah chan, quakie & dududududu.. It was so fun! But too bad meowie have to work! Haigh~ Or else sure very very fun! We went to visit meowie on her first day work.. Haha.. She was forced to put on make up and it's like a clown! Haha.. So sorry man, But not as bad as I imagine~ Still pretty as usual~ :) We go cycle, take pictures, talking ghost story in Mcdonald, tired like few corpses on bus 15 and met stick man's sister~ Haha.. It was so memorable and fun! We must go again, all of us! Nady! U better come next time oK!! Stop baking ur cakes!! Haha..

Then the next day, I went to Quakie working place with ah chan! We played inside the shop, slacking, playing, drawing and a lot more! So fun! I never work in a shop selling clothes before! It's so fun to play inside, somemore her boss not inside! haha.. Can play till we xiao~ In the end, three of us do nothing as predicted. Haha.. then suffer the next day lo~ All need to rush for our work~ Haigh~ But it was fun to play there~

Well, the last paragraph is for my M'sia friends which i dun really think u all will bother to read my blog. Well, I don't really wish to say this, but I found out that the gap in between us become bigger and bigger. I used to miss those days we gossip together, play and laugh together.. But, now, to me, u all seems like walking in front, and I m so far behind.. I dun understand what you all talking about, I dunno where r u going to study, I totally lost track of what you all doing now. What i want is just to concern my friends like what they r doing. What I want to know is just how r u all? Do u all need my help? But, I really felt so sad and sometimes even dun feel like going back to face u guys. I'm tired of maintaining our frenship myself.. I'm tired to be a fool.. I really felt that I'm so 一厢情愿.. Well, I understand this will happen one day since I step out from kluang. One day, we will seperate our way and chase our own dream. All I can do, it's just wishing u guys all the best to your future studies.. I hope that one day if we meet each other, we would not just passby like a stranger.. Cuz, we were such a group of good friends, once ago...

It's 2008! (02.02.2008)

OMG! Just realize that long time nvr blog something here.. Although one month passed but still HAPPY NEW YEAR & HAPPY LUNAR CHINESE NEW YEAR! Haha.. So happy~~ I love Chinese new year!! ANG PAU!! I'm coming! Wahaha..

Recently lots of things happened and that really affect my mood.. Me & my sis already moved out from Yishun, the place which I stay for nearly two years.. It's a long story.. Nowadays, the rental are really too high.. We can't afford to rent whole flat.. In the end five of us seperate.. it's very sad.. I miss my "lao dou", "ah gong" & "ah tai".. Especially my "lao dou".. we stayed together for nearly two years.. I miss the days that we played together, cooked awful dinner, talk dirty jokes, play autotrimax, watch tv, watch crayon sin chan together, play PSP & so on.. The most memorable one must be my last birthday! It's so pity to seperate but one day we will seperate too.. Haha.. Thanks a lot for take good care of me.. "Ah gong",
ur noodle might be a bit horrible but it's really sweet to cook for me.. "ah tai" haha.. Ur new hairstyle nicer.. Haha.. "lao dou" thanks for allow me to "bomb" u! Haha.. It was a really beautiful memory in my life! Cheers~ T.T


Now, I'm staying with my 6th Aunt, her family n two CATS! They are quite cute la.. I mean their behaviour! Haha.. Really funny sometimes.. Now I'm nearer to Lexy.. I'm so sorry to Porky - My ULTIMATE BEST FRENS! That's also the other reason that I dun wanna leave Yishun! I like to take bus with porky n see how many times can she drop her hands.. Haha.. Talk rubbish! Now is nice also but when u think of take THREE busES to go home, really dun feel like go home man..

Well, there are something funny to share. I think everyone will laugh like hell.. Finally Latest Crayon Sin Chan Published! I'm so looking forward! It's supposed to be funny n happy comic rite.. But I cried terriblely yesterday when reading the comic! Haha.. OMG!! Ya, It's kind of sad that 松坂老师's lover 行田德郎医生died after a bomb attack.. It's so sad that I cried like hell while listening TVXQ's new song - Kissしたまま、さよなら. (A song which Micky & Hero composed - Talk about a guy who miss his beloved girlfren who is dead.) Very touching.. The song is kind of similiar to wat i read.. So sad.. I know it's funny to cry for crayon sin chan! But it's really touching! Haha..

Recently I'm falling in love with another KPOP group - Wonder Girls! Haha.. their song are really nice! Especially the special dance - Tell me - Super popular now in
KOREA! Haha..

SIP coming soon.. So nervous.. Thank god I finally found one after three interviews! Phew~ But not to worry Lexy, U will get one, Lynette will push u out in the end! U will meet nice ppl! I will pray hard for u! Hope can pass it!

K, should emo-ing! Must happy now! It's chinese new year!! Everyone, let's enjoy till the MAX ya~ HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! Enjoy~

Yeah!! Holidays AGAIN!! (28.11.2007)

Wahahaha.. Super long~~~ Time din blog anything here! Yes! Just like my title of this blog (Cool down, i know some of u not as lucky as me.. Haha..) I HAVE MY HOLIDAYSS AGAIN!! YEah!!

This monday just finish my Packaging design.. Last thursday already finish info design.. Actuallu both also quite fun la.. At least i enjoy it but really can't tell rite!! Haha.. Cuz i keep complaining..

Finally holidays, but this holidays are not as relax as last time one.. cuz SIP coming soon.. We need to do our portfolio nicely during this holidays so that we can show it thru interview.. OMG! SIP sounds so scary!! I really dun wish to go man.. But tat's the thing that we need to face it.. I scared to face new ppl, new environment.. I scared nobody would like to employ me.. I scared.. There's lists of thing to scared! But that's the process.. I know i need to be brave! Jia you ba!

Erm.. And now, it's time to share something super duper good thing! Tell u wat.. My wish really come true!! I SAW TVXQ!!! OMG!! they are SUPER DUPER ULTRA HANDSOME la!! They are very tall and friendly.. But too bad i can't take too many pic as photography is prohibited there.. But i really wanna say, their live singing = EXCELLENT man! That's the 实力that made them so popular in ASIA! Till now i couldn't believe that I saw them.. Their dance super 齐.. But too bad U-know can't dance cuz he hurt his waist.. But he still dance a little bit la.. Haha.. That's really a WONDERFUL "TAT" night which is so unforgettable to me! They really very tall and their 舞蹈实力really very very good! Singing? 废话！Of cuz super Duper Nice la!! OMG!! I'm now totally addicted man! They r too handsome! Haha..

Today just went to watch HERO with my sis.. Erm.. It's a nice movie.. It brings me lots of memory.. Like bring me back to that time me n my sister watching the series of drama! Takuya Kimura's acting very nice.. He got his own style.. Erm.. So good.. I wanna watch the old series again man!! Haha..

Finally holidays.. Wat to do.. Exercise! Haha.. Swimming! I miss swimming now! Haigh.. tomorrow got SIP briefing.. So scary but still have to face it! Jia you ba.. lighten myself by reminding myself holidays coming soon! Kambateh kudasai!

Life is unpredictable.. (13.11.2007)

Long time din blog anything here.. but i never tot that this is something about a bad thing happen on my best fren - sin sin!

Today, as usual, doing sketches.. wanna consult Pat but she said she got no time to consult.. Then i went to RJ paper factory with lexy, sinyee and Charmaine.. That was really a happy and wonderful trip with them.. they went there for their prepress assignment.. And me, at first is just like go and look look.. See whether they have any special paper to buy for my packaging.. But really unfortunate that those paper i like OUT OF STOCK! Haigh~ Always like this one..

Suddenly, I received a call from Mandy - my best fren in Kluang.. That was so weird and is like miracle man.. Cuz all of my Malaysia frens think that sending sms to SG is SUPER EXP(although is just twenty cents.. Well.. What can i say.. That's not the money problem.. Is that whether u sincerely want to keep i touch with ur frens to see whether they are still "ALIVE"! Sometimes really can't understand.. Thay can send those bo liao sms like N times but just spend twenty cents to me is like super EXP lo!) When i received that call i was like so happy! Cuz my fren finally contact me.. But out of my expectation - it wasn't a good thing. Mandy told me that my best fren sin sin's father just passed away.. I was like stunned there.. I totally shock and feel really really bad.. After that, i really got no mood to look at paper.. I stare at those paper but the whole brain is full of "it's impossible, too sudden.." but i still have to do assignment.. I'm really very sad to hear that.. I can't believe it..

Then i sms sin sin.. ask her not to take it so hard.. Be strong.. I guess that's wat i can do now.. cuz i can't go back.. I'm so sorry!

Well, life is so unpredictable.. Pls.. all my frens and family members, pls take good care of urself.. I dun want this to happen again.. recently there's lots of bad thing happen in my family.. My uncle just passed away in september.. and something bad happen too.. Now, there's another bad news! If that's the only reason that my Malaysia fren call me, I rather they forever dun call me in SG!

Here's some words to Sin Sin,

Dear fren, I know it's a really hard time for u now.. I understand how sad u r now.. But the Exam is just around the corner.. Pls do ur best during STPM.. Dun give up easily.. I guess everyone also think that way including uncle.. After STPM, dun straight away go to work.. That's not a good way to help ur family.. Go n study uni.. 半工半读.. 辛苦一点.. u just think that after u graduate, u can get better job with better pay, then u can help ur family.. Be strong ok? I know u can do it.. If u really need help no matter in wat way, come to me.. I will help u! Jia you and be strong! I'm looking forward to see a brand new sin sin, a mature and sensible gal.. Jia you and dun give up.. We will always by ur side.. That's wat frens meant to be...

Busy week just started.. (09.10.2007)

OMG!! I just realize tat i long time didn't write something on my blog!! I'm so sorry! Cuz i just finished my quite bad holidays.. Haha..

This holidays really quite bad for me.. A lot of things happened.. But hope everyone around me including my frens and family memberss, pls do take good care of ur body! Nothing is better than health! But there's something good too! My cousin's wife just had an operation and she's recovering now.. Everything over! Hope she take care of herself~ 没事了~ Yeah! 'v'

October, sch started.. I tot i already study in Sg for one year more, so homesick shouldn't be happened to me! But i'm wrong!! After whole month helping my mum n always accompany my mum, when sch started suddenly need to leave home, i feel so sad.. one thing also feel tat my mummy is so poor thing.. as she's quite lonely, but i'm glad tat u found quite a lot of activity to fill up her life! The moment when i step on this new house in SG, I feel like crying.. Then after i called my mum, i finally cried!(Oh ya, i just shift my house, but still Yishun, just two bus stop away from where i stayed last time.. We moved to here on 22nd September which my frens having gathering! Wu.. It's a super tired day for me man!!!) Wat a useless gal ya! Haha..

Sch started, having Advertising and Expressive Illustration now.. I'm so stress as both of my lecturers r so strict! Haha.. I finally get Advertising! But y Ferdi again!!? OMG!! But it's all rite la.. At least he teach something.. Haha.. Si Y.. Erm.. nvr get before but i'm so scared of her as she's too demanding! Her expectation quite high! OMG~ How i'm going to survive!!!

The first week of sch reopen, our result out! My result, average.. I hope i can really do better! Or else really need to change course liao lo.. OMG!

During my last holidays, i've made a great decision! But can't tell u now! Only few of my frens knew this! Haha.. I will show u later in maybe my next post? Perhaps! Haha..

TVXQ going to Malaysia for 2nd live tour concert!!! I wanna go but dunno whether i can get the tickets or not.. Hope i can get it and go n see my dreamguysssss singing.. 见证什么叫做歌唱实力和舞蹈! Haha.. I LOVE TVXQ~~ Haha..

K la.. Stop talking nonsense! Haha.. Need to do my work la~ See ya in my next post~

To... (12.09.2007)

星期五的清晨，一阵刺耳的电话响起，硬是把我从睡梦中拉醒。

这，不是一通普通的电话。

是一通让人伤心欲绝的电话。

一句：“大伯过世了！”让我从睡梦中惊醒，不敢相信自己所听到的。

匆匆忙忙，换了衣服，正要出门，才看见刚回家，伤心，失落，难过，疲累的爸爸。他几乎整晚没睡多少，在大伯家一直看着他所敬爱的大哥。从他说话的语气，爸爸他，哭过了...

虽然大伯的病，这几个月下来都每况愈下，但还是不能接受离别来得那么快。当下马上让我想起，瘦得如纸片人的奶奶，不知承受的来吗？这一直是我所担心的。

匆匆忙忙赶到大伯家，看见躺在床上冷冰冰的大伯，虽然跟他并不很亲，但依然一阵鼻酸涌上来。我告诉我自己绝不能在奶奶面前流泪。于是便躲在楼上偷偷哭泣。情绪稳定后，我的任务开始了- 陪着我那年事已高的奶奶。一整个早上，亲戚都来看看大伯。大家都哭得好凄凉。送得到大伯最后一程，只有他的长子。等其他孩子从新加坡赶来，大伯已是冷冰冰的了。这是谁也没办法压抑情绪，大哭了起来。

我，能做的只是一直陪在奶奶身边，照顾他，搀扶他。奶奶口中不停的说应该他先离开，但是奶奶，人生不就是这样，要经过生，老，病，死。大伯虽然离开了，但至少不会在痛苦下去。奶奶您一定要长命百岁。相信大伯他也不愿见到这样说话的您。

在大伯入棺时，大家都哭得好凄惨。我这辈子从来没见过我爸爸哭过，但是奶奶告诉我，大伯辞世时，爸爸是第一时间抱着她哭的人。我听了真的好心疼。虽然爸爸他从来不善于表达，但我知道他内心深处，真的很舍不得这个大哥。大伯不在，爸爸就是这家最大的儿子。我觉得爸爸似乎又肩负了更大的责任。

一连五天，我都在大伯的丧礼帮忙。姐姐也请了假，留下来送大伯最后一程。每天都忙得不可开交，因为大伯生前人缘好，光是花圈就有30几个。他也算是风光的离开人世。

终于到了出殡日，也是我最担心的日子。奶奶这几天只要看见大伯的遗容就哭得不能自己，出殡他一定更难受。其实奶奶没有我想象中脆弱，他还挺坚强的。只是出殡时，奶奶真的哭的好凄凉。爸爸因为工作走不开也无法送大伯一程。早上烧香时，看见父亲不舍的泪水，真的觉得好心疼。爸爸要了一张十几年前与大伯的旧照片，然后像宝似的收进口袋。然后默默地离开上班去。而我在大伯出殡时，握着奶奶的手，边哭边叫奶奶别哭。此时此刻，我真的好难受。好心疼奶奶年纪这么大了，还得经历这些。

这些日子来，从大伯辞世一直到安放灵位，我都陪在身边，默默地送我所敬爱的大伯一程，尽尽我做为侄女的责任。真的有感人生无常，昔日那个疼爱我们，说话中气十足的大伯，就在转眼间变成灰烬。所以珍惜每一个爱我们和我们爱的人。孝顺长辈。不要等到失去以后才说那句迟来的对不起及后悔自己没好好珍惜。一切都已来不及了。

再多的眼泪，

也换不回您的慈爱，

再多的不舍，

也无法改变您已离开我们的事实，

您的一切我们将会永记在心头，

这一辈子都不会忘记您。

一路好走，不要有牵挂，

愿您在天国，不再有痛苦。

致 : 我敬爱的大伯......

祝我生日快乐... (25.08.2007)

生日快乐~我对自己说~蜡烛点了，寂寞亮了~ I like this song a lot.. Few years ago, my birthday was like that.. But this year, i'm so glad to have a group of good frens and housemate celebrate with me! Haha..

16th August 2007

The day of being a nineteen gal.. Erm, i tell myself it's time to grow up and think more mature.. Dun always like a kid like that.. A lot of things muz face it urself.. Although the way might b very tough but this is a test from god.. this a test for us to learn to grow up and overcome problem! Erm, I will be strong! I mean mentally ok, not physically~ Haha..

Today is my presentation day for P2, so nervous.. I know my things not nice, I will improve next time! So sad, think this time might get D! :(

But after that totally release from stress! I've got total 6 weeks holidaysss! Yeah! Finally! Then i went to celebrate my birthday with Le Xin, Siew Yun, Sin Yee, Yi Ling and Wai Sun?! Haha.. He very kind la.. Haha.. Thanks ya.. After having dinner with them, they actually plan to give me surprise but a chan accidentally talk something wrong.. Made me suspicious! haha.. Then i knew they have something on~ Haha.. They made a great mistake which is ask Sin Yee to bluff me.. Seriously, A chan is not a good actress! haha.. She wanna give me surprise but she lost her way, still need my help to go haagen daz! Haha.. That time she bluff me, I was thinking : 你在演啊！在演嘛! Haha.. Then wow, They treat me eat "fondue" (Dunno is it spell like that) 白话一点: The chocolate steamboat! Haha.. Nice! I appreciate a lot of their effort to make my birthday special and full of "surprise"..

Then i went home, my "family" going to celebrate with me! Which is my housemates! My jie jie, Jerry lao dou, Koh ah gong and Siong ah tai! Haha.. There's only two words to describe their celebration for me - Lame & Crazy! Haha.. We took our first family photo! Haha.. Pls refer to friendster! haha..

Thanks to my Malaysia frens too! Thanks for the effort come and celebrate with me! I really appreciate it! Thanks so much! I love u all!

In the end, i wanna say thanks to u all! Not only my frens but my family too! Thanks.. U all are the best gift that god gave me! I'm so lucky and 幸福! Thanks! I LOVE U ALL!!

Shh.. it's a SECRET! Haha.. (25.08.2007)

15th of August 2007



The last day of being an eighteen years old girl.. Haha.. It's really memorable to me!



Today is my submission for P2.. For the sake of the stupid P2 I almost like one whole month not enough sleep! Especially the last few days near submission day, everyday like 4 or 5am just sleep! I really feel like dying man.. Haha.. I rush like hell but finally i done my thing! Yeah! Although not very nice la.. Haha..



Then after the busy afternoon, FINALLY I CAN ENJOY!! Me and my sister went to watch the movie that we wanted to watch desperately!! Secret - 不能说的秘密! Jay Chou's movie! Exciting~~



We went to AMK hub to watch our favourite movie! I'm so looking forward to it.. But in the end, ya, Jay Chou's talent really never let us down! He's really a great artist! 我真得很佩服他的多才多艺.. It's a very touching movie.. I cried in the cinema.. After that, 心情久久都不能平复.. 在还没看这部电影时，听到这首部不能说的秘密，好评如潮，让原本就是他的歌迷的我们更想去看！看完了，还慢舍不得的，还记得电影结束时，不能说的秘密这首歌一响起，更让我哭得像傻婆！Haha.. 在还没看电影之前听这首歌就觉得真的很好听！周杰伦不论在唱腔还是作曲都进步好多！他的歌越来越能感动人心了！好现象！好现象！Haha.. 这首歌其实应该在看完这部电影才听，才更能感受歌词的意境.. 感动-ing~

说到电影，其实息影我去看的是故事情节。就算不是周杰伦导的，都还是想看。拍摄手法，很棒。幽默感，很棒。服装，漂亮。场景，一级棒! Haha.. 路小雨与叶湘伦的爱情，很纯.. 是那种纯纯的爱。Which is 现在难见的爱情。最喜欢看里面的演员耍宝，笑到肚子痛。也超爱看周杰伦跟宇豪斗琴！超精彩的！好羡慕他们钢琴弹得好好哦！开始后悔当初干嘛那么爱玩，没好好练琴。这个假期，我要好好地练了!Haha..

我真的超爱这部电影的，推荐大家去看。剧情就不告诉你们了。因为---------- 这是不能说的.秘密！Haha...

20072007! (20.07.2007)

Today is really a lovely day to me! I feel so happy man! haha.. Today is my best fren - Siew Yun's birthday! We gave her a surprise! haha.. Although it's so lame la.. Haha..

Erm, LE xin had made a very touching card for her. Even i read the card also feel like crying.. No wonder Siew Yun will cry! Pls do one for me on my birthday! Honey~~ Haha..

I'm so happy to be a part of setting this surprise to someone! Feel so exciting! Haha.. Also, bring happiness to someone is also a very wonderful things to me! I like to see ppl with happy face! haha..

SY is a very popular gal! She got a group of good frens! Today Deniese and Lynn print a T-shirt (today is my birthday) to her! It's so sweet! And i'm so happy for her!

Today i'm really very happy, mayb is also the last day for applied illustration la.. After submission feel like 1 quater of stone release from my shoulder.. (Actually i said 1 big stone, but Wendy said becuz we still have P2 so it's 1 quater!) Haha.. Lame~~ -_-"

This week, needless to say, another tiring week for me.. I got no enough sleep! But quite happy this block! Cuz i have more close frens! haha.. Like Wendy, Deniese, Lynn, Yi Ling, Clara and so on.. Haha.. Yeah!!

The coming month is P2 part 2. It's so stress! But i need to work hard! It's tough, but i should overcome it.. haha.. Just like what my Honey quote from a book - 态度决定一切! haha.. So.. Let's be more positive!

Xiao di.. Dun give up easily.. This time ur result not good doesn't mean that next time will be the same.. If u pay more effort u will get more! So, jia you ba! (<= so weird, the whole block everyone keep repeating Jia You this word! Haha..) Anyway, Everyone! Jia You!!

Happy birthday to Siew Yun!

Stressful week! (13.07.2007)

It's been a very stressful week for me this week! I'm so stress for my P2 & also illustration class.. I think as the time goes by, i will become more stress! OMG! What should i do to destress??!

Not much different than last week, i'm still very tired! Even more tired than last week! Haha.. But it's ok! to reward myself, i buy myself another two CDs!! Haha..

I think all of us who's having P2 now are all stress! It's really a very tough project for us.. But it's also truth that global warming becoming more serious nowadays.. thru those research that i did for tis project, I understand more out global warming! It's so scary! Can u imagine that one day we might be the victim of natural disaster? and the one who cause the natural disaster are us!! So think well before u anyhow throw away those recyclable thing and also anyhow dirtied our environment! this is kind of torturing ourselves! Cause what u give to the environment, i think the enviroment will pay u double!! I might be to stress bout tis project until writing blog also talking bout this thing! But, Hey, THINK BOUT IT! IT'S TRUTH!!

I feel so moody these few days.. Ppl around me keep going holidays.. Finally back home still have to see my daddy's "pai kuan" and listen to my mum bout how angry she is! I feel like crying man.. I tot home is a place for me to relax and Stress FREE place for me! But still have to see this kind of scene! Kill me now, pls.. I just dun wanna see these happen in front of me! T.T

Alrite.. I need to be strong! try to forget all those thing.. so now i need to destress! Ok.. That's all.. It's time for me to enjoy music and relax! Haha..

Tiring.. Tiring.. Tiring.. (05.07.2007)

Wow.. Long time never blog something on my blog.. Haha.. I wanna do so long time ago but dun get to do tat.. Cuz if i got time i rather go n sleep.. Feel dizzy recently..

Well, i'm having applied illustration and P2 at the same time.. I'm so stress.. For applied illustration, it's consider fun la.. As it's one of my favourite lecturer teaching this subject - Peggy! She's funny man.. Haha.. But for P2 it's really a big trouble for me as i dun even know wat should i do!!! It's about global warming.. Actually, after watching the video which Ferdi showed us, I really feel tat our earth going to die soon.. After some research, now only i realize tat's something very serious happened around us.. If we dun save our earth, who's going to save us?! Tat's also y i need to think something really can works to create awareness n it's also our project objective! After few session of this class i think i'm more concious bout this.. Whenever i'm going to throw something i will think twice.. I think it's good for me.. Haha.. Come on, friends, Let's save our environment!

Recently, to destress, i'm watching 换换爱.. Haha.. It's funny n interesting n i think i'm addicted to it.. Haha.. But dun worry, I'm still loving my TVXQ! Haha.. I like KPOP!! Haha.. I wanna learn Korean language.. Haha..

This two months might be a very hard time for us, but frens, let's gambatei.. Two months.. Not a very long time.. See, week 2 going to end soon! But i really hope tat my result won't disappoint my parents! Haha.. Let's gambatei kudasai! Fighting~

Moody~~ (14.06.2007)

Wah.. Since i'm having holidays, long time never update my blog!! Haha.. Cuz i'm enjoying my holidays here!!

This holidays i supposed to help my cousin's wife to do some design works as usual.. But this season not a lot of things to do.. So, i decided to help my mummy bank in cheque and so on!! Haha.. Life quite enjoy there.. When i got nothing to do there i can watch my drama using my bf - Mr. toshiba!! Haha.. And listen to my songs~ Haha.. BTW Le Xin, I'm watching 溏心风暴 now!! I'm learning cantonese! And tell u wat Wong Chung Chak Super ultra leng zai ar!! Haha.. U muz find this kind of bf.. Haha.. Kame they all too far away!! Haha.. Still got language barrier. But u can speak cantonese with Wong Chung Chak woh! Haha.. (Dun bother me.. I'm juz dreaming! Haha..)

Today is my dear daddy birthday! Happy birthday to my old bean! Haha.. I did a card for him.. I drew him!! Haha.. It's funny but wheni secretly show my mum she said looks like him!! Haha..

Actually during this holidays, i'm not really happy.. cuz again, myself alone at home.. Even i'm at home still.... Talk to my best fren - Wall.. Sometimes i may be too emotional.. I cried secretly at home becuz of my parents problem.. Perhaps my frens would envy me for having freedom at home, i can do wat i like without brother and sister's disturb, buy the things that i need.. but u know wat.. all this need to pay.. I've pay up my kinship for all these! Frankly, i think this is a big deep wound in y heart which no one else will know wat i feel.. I have to Listen wat my parents complaining each other.. I'm scared that my daddy will make my mum angry and scolding each other.. I know both of u hate each other.. Everytime no matter is watching drama or even seeing those old couples holding each others' hand, do u know how sad i feel.. How desperate i wish my parents would be like that and i can have a happy family.. I know that's juz my own wishful thinking.. But wat i want is just that both of u can live together peacefully! Hey, my dear parents.. I wish that one day u all can sit down and think all over again.. do u know how much i suffer for these.. During my sec sch life, it was happy memory in sch but was a nightmare at home.. when my mum cried, i cried secretly.. i never tell all these to my sis although my mum would tell her.. We never discuss bout this cuz we know this is a big wound in our heart which we dun wanna touch it..

But all these experience made my thinking more matured than same age frens.. that day i juz talk all these to Siew Yun.. Thanks, Siew Yun.. U r really a good listener. Actually, tat day i cried secretly in front of my laptop.. Haha.. Without my mum's knowing although she's watching tv in the living room.. this 神功 is the result of the past few years practice.. Which i cried secretly without anyone know i cried before! Haha.. Dun worry.. I'm fine now..

Everything will be fine~~ I miss you guys man, Siew Yun, Le Xin and Sin Yee.. Haha.. I'm glad that u all working now.. gambateh neh.. I will always support u all!! See u guys while sch reopen! See ya~