I'm sorry guys! Now only i update my blog. I think this is the very right timing to write. I m very depress now. Probably after this post, I would feel better.
Recently, after came back from yogyakarta, (Tell u guys about my trip in my next post with pic! hahah! but have to wait ok! Haha!) I m scared. Really scared. My dad went to china the week after i went holidays. So whole week stay in Malaysia accompany my mum.
The sentence i hate the most now is ppl asking me "what are you going to do after graduate?" Seriously, Hate it! I'm lost! I dunno what should I study. I'm now in a corner, with all my family and frens around me, asking me the same question, especially my sis! She keep forcing me to choose now! Yes! I know that's for my own good, but really, I'm lost. I feel like I'm going mad, whenever she asked me, i just keep quiet. Even I ask my dad, he was like either no answer, or dunno what is he talking about then walk back to his room. I m really damn stress now. I see myself holding my head sitting at a dark corner. I can't find an exit to run away, with all of them behind me forcing me to go out. I m lost. I dunno what to do and what should i do. it's a kind of burden to click in those website to search for sch.
I'm so regret now. I should be more hardworking. now my result is like a piece of shit. I really wonder m i suitable to study design? I got no talent at all. I should be more hardworking. Now this kind of result, who the hell will accept me? With probably the most scary portfolio, i dun think there's any school wan to accept me. Where to go? Australia? I wanted too. I dun like to study in either NTU or NUS. It's just another round of discrimination. Even I want I dun think I can get in too. i really can't breath. I hate that kind of stress.
I was sitting at my living room just now, cried with the sad music. I just need to release all out. I can't do it in front of anyone in my family. I know they are more worried! But I really dunno what to do but cry out. I'm such a useless bum! Always made ppl worry for me. Even my health. Really, the first time i feel so helpless. I'm drowning, and i can't see any helps in front of me. What should I do? I dun wan to disappoint my family. I wonder if I m suitable to study oversea with my lousy english.
Ok enough! Should stop it! I feel much better after throwing all my "rubbish" here. Just ignore ok! :)
Well, these few days I was watching korean drama at home. Beethoven virus and on air. Beethoven virus is a story about a orchestra team. How they fight for their dream. It's nice becuz the actor jang geun suk is handsome! haha! I m envy because they have a dream, which i dun have. And really envy them can fight for their dream. But the love story in that drama sucks! Really kns the female main role! Such a young handsome guy dun wan, in the end fell in love with the old uncle! Walao wei! Not nice! Tsk! Haha!
On air, to me, it's nice. Long ago i wanted to watch it. The story is about how the entertaiment industry working in Korea. An arrogant top star, a very famous storywriter, a new but good director and a caring star manager. the love story between them are nice especially the director and the storywriter. Haha! they are so cute! I love the OST too. The one sided love by Park Yong Ha which act as the director and If.. by Naby(Too bad not nady! haha).. Really very sad song. Shit man! Always like these kind of songs.. Sigh.. But that's why i love Kpop too, their touching music. If u feel too bored can take a look at this drama too. To me is interesting cuz after this drama only I know, to produce a drama really needs a lot of effort. Everyone put in a lot of effort just for the drama. And now i think it is so unfair for the audience to say not nice when they dun even see how hard they work. Even to me the story is not nice, but now i learn to respect every of them. They are always in a hard time!
Wah such a long post. Ok, well, just an update. i m currently working in my cousin wife's print house. Doing boring design job. Although i dun really feel like working there, but too bad la, she only left one designer there, and very hard to find graphic designer in my hometown. So I just go and help her. Sigh.. But wednesday I will go singapore for the swimming class! haha! Hope can meet u guys la. Ok, after this post I should feel better. All my tears, go back to ur house and have a long sleep k! goodnight! all of u! :)
